Yes thats right its another F.I.S.H. F.I.L.E. ! " Were not just for breakfast anymore!" <<99 WAYS TO ANNOY SOMEBODY (and get even)>> by PUNK ROCK GIRL & THE POTATOE LADY Disclaimer: This information is for informational information only. Punk Rock Girl and Potatoe Lady take no responsibility for the misuse of this informative informational information. Instructions for use: these are mere suggetsions of what one might possibly do. If one were to successfully attempt a #69 the possibilites are endless. REMEMBER TO APOLOGIVE PROFUSELY IF YOU ACHIEVE A #10 OR A #17 etc, etc... 1. mumble when you speak 2. call them every five minutes "just to say hi." 3. spread filthy rumors about them 4. put vaseline all over their locker 5. get a porno mag and put a fake adress sticker on it with their name displayed prominently. Drop it in the mall, the parking lot, etc etc... 6. give them herpies 7. follow them around smiling alot 8. touch thier car a lot 9. touch them a lot 10. vomit on them at the least appropriate time. i.e. during school! 11. send them junk mail 12. smile a lot and laugh incessantly. laugh at everything they say including hints such as: SHUT UP!!! 13. ask them embarrassing questions like DID YOU BRUSH YOUR TEETH TODAY? or DID YOU FORGET TO WASH YOUR HAIR? 14. pry. especially into things that are none of your business 15. spit all over them when you talk. P,B,S,F, are good letters 16. tell a friend you hate them but don't say why 17. cough on them, sneeze on them 18. stare at them 19. when they are talking to you: stare at their eyebrows squint at them keep looking over at something behind them pick your nose yawn 20. order them things... diaper service 5 tons of gravel pizza flowers mulch all these things usually bill you later 21. send them love letters from their least favorite person. 22. poke them with things 23. ask them why they cut their hair 24. compliment them on their least admirable qualites. ASK THEM IF THEY KNEW THEY LOOKED LIKE A PORPOISE. 25. sign them up for a CD club with their most hated music as their main selection 26. take their picture all the time 27. ACCIDENTLY drop their name and phone number in trashy parts of town 28. kidnap their pets and put packaging tape all over them 29. drain their steering fluid 30. steal their gas cap 31. let them know when they have messed up 32. sing to them 33. unplug all their appliances 34. unscrew all their light bulbs just enough so they dont work 35. take the bolts off the front whell of their bicycle 36. make up stupid nick names like JIMBO and DAN THE MAN. get others to use them 37. accidently set them on fire 38. place syringes on them and alert the proper athorities 39. call them bad names like Queen Daryl and Bunnyfucker 40. tell their mothers they do drugs, sign them up for New Beginnings 41. everyone has defects, point their out in flyers, on bathroom walls, and over school PA systems 42. murder their animals and make it look like road kill 43. call the phone company and have thier line disconnected 44. do meaningnless things to their house like leaving celery on the door at night 45. accidently drop a dye tablet in the washer 46. talk about them on live television 47. put gum in their hair... on their seat... in their shoes... 48. constantly remind them that a relative died, make jokes about it 49. check out library books on their name, rent movies for them, make long distance phone calls from their house 50. whenever anybody asks your name, USE THEIRS! especially when doing somehting illegal 51. change all the clocks in their house to different times 52. set clock alarms to go off at three o clock in the morning 53. flip all their circuit breakers and steal all their fuses 54. turn on the heater in the summer and the cooler in the winter 55. drop alkaseltzer into their fishtank 56. put refrigerator magnets on every screen you see (epsecially computers) 57. did you know that if you haold a razor blade with the sharp edge at a 90 degree angle with a window and run it up and down it makes a really bloodcurdling noise. 58. tear the last page out of books 59. tell them there is a party at some deserted loaction 60. did you know that alum is sold in the spice section of your local supermarket? it is possibly the sickest tasting white powder ever invented. it goes well on salads... in drinks... 61. put broken glass in the swimming pool 62. misuse words ( Freudian Slip ) 63. pour a bottle of Nyquil into the punch. 64. there is a little screw on those things that amke doors close real slow labeled SPEED. turn it one direction until it falls out. It will slam quite nicely now 65. lamp oil kills lawns DEAD! 66. let the air out of their front left tire 67. give their dog a nice yummy hunk of meat with laxitive on/in it. put the dog in the house 68. super glue a quarter to the floor in the mall 69. get a garage door opener and drive through suburbia until one opens 70. place a cup of rotting eggs and milk near their houses ventilation intake 71. put a padlock on their fence and lose the key 72. remove their lawn mower blade 73. degause their tape collection 74. talk with your mouth full 75. put crushed garlic under their car seat 76. did you know volkswagons are air tight (mostly) roll up all the windows except one and stick a hose in. roll it up the rest of the way, turn it on 77. format all the school computers 78. relabel all their video tapes, chemicals, disks, etc... 79. sell everything they own via the classified ads in the paper 80. tap rythmically with you fingers, pencils, rulers... 81. turn up the oven 82. scream and perform a seizure during lunch time in the caffeteria 83. grunt now and then 84. ask why every time they speak 85. slurp drinks 86. drool during a conversation with an authority figure 87. did you notice that some brands of cat food look just like tuna? swithch labels 89. ALL teachers keep asprin in their desks, switch it with nytol 90. breath like a horse 91. sell them encyclopedias at four o clock in the morning 92. loosen one link in their bike chain 93. saran wrap over the toilet seat 94. raod kill is the gift that keeps on giving 95. keep sending mail to Abe Froman and use their adress get others to do so 96. when they are driving suddenly scream as loud as you can then stop 97. turn their car stereo up all the way before they go someplace 98. place a few good size hunks of dry ice in a 2 liter plastic soda bottle, add some rit dye ( preferably red liquid dye ) close the lid throw it into their hot tub and run like hell 99. writing in candle wax does not come off, in the summer it melts on white pavement and turns dark grey. write your favorite slogan on your friends drive way. 100 is just too wacky to mention If there are any questions or comments leave mail for: PUNK ROCK GIRL (me) EZRA D-LYSERGIC ACID DYETHYLAMIDE THE POTATOE LADY but in a way arent we all X-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-X Another file downloaded from: The NIRVANAnet(tm) Seven & the Temple of the Screaming Electron Taipan Enigma 510/935-5845 Burn This Flag Zardoz 408/363-9766 realitycheck Poindexter Fortran 510/527-1662 Lies Unlimited Mick Freen 801/278-2699 The New Dork Sublime Biffnix 415/864-DORK The Shrine Rif Raf 206/794-6674 Planet Mirth Simon Jester 510/786-6560 "Raw Data for Raw Nerves" X-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-X