F I D O N E W S         Volume 16, Number 52             27 Dec 1999 
     +----------------------------+---------------------------------------+
     |  The newsletter of the     |   ISSN 1198-4589 Published by:        |
     |    FidoNet community       |   "FidoNews"                          |
     |          _                 |   1-717-732-6820     1:270/720        |
     |         /  \               |                                       |
     |        /|oo \              |                                       |
     |       (_|  /_)             |                                       |
     |        _`@/_ \    _        |                                       |
     |       |     | \   \\       |   Editor: Douglas Myers, 1:270/720    |
     |       | (*) |  \   ))      |           DougM@paonline.com          |
     |       |__U__| /  \//       |                                       |
     |        _//|| _\   /        |                                       |
     |       (_/(_|(____/         |                                       |
     |             (jm)           |   Newspapers should have no friends.  |
     |                            |                    -- JOSEPH PULITZER |
     +----------------------------+---------------------------------------+
     


                        Table of Contents
     1. HEADLINES  ................................................  1
        Not in this issue  ........................................  1
     2. EDITORIAL  ................................................  2
        Internationally Challenged  ...............................  2
     3. LETTERS TO THE EDITOR  ....................................  3
        New Zone 3 Coordinator  ...................................  3
     4. ARTICLES  .................................................  4
        A Y2K nodelist  ...........................................  4
        ECHO TALK - U.S. Chauvanist  ..............................  5
     5. COLUMNS  ..................................................  7
        Old Grandfather's Table  ..................................  7
        Fidonet-related sites  ....................................  8
     6. COORDINATORS CORNER  ...................................... 12
        The figures ... on a plate  ............................... 12
     7. NET HUMOR  ................................................ 14
        The Night Before Y2K  ..................................... 14
        The Y2K Song  ............................................. 16
     8. COMIX IN ASCII  ........................................... 17
        O! TannenCow!  ............................................ 17
     9. FIDONEWS INFORMATION  ..................................... 18
        Masthead  ................................................. 18
     FIDONEWS 16-52               Page 1                   27 Dec 1999


     =================================================================
                                 HEADLINES
     =================================================================

                              Not in this issue

     You can check out the Table of Contents to see what's in this
     issue... but there are some important stories which didn't make this
     issue.  Maybe next millenium...

     Lesley-Dee Dylan, Fido's reigning Super-bitch, is preparing yet
     another article exposing past corruption and wrong-doing in her
     region.  Though she sent me a preview, she wants to research her
     facts and get them right.  "It takes a lot of homework for a good
     bitch," she tells me.

     I was going to report that Jackson Harding, the down Zone 3
     Coordinator, had yet to be replaced.  However, netmail received this
     week (in this issue) informs me otherwise :)

     The word from Zone 2 is that Ward Dossche has offered his
     resignation as Z2C so that a new election may be held.  Ward is
     expected to run again.  Details and times are not known here yet.

     Speaking of Ward - his article this week arrived here in plenty of
     time for publication last week.  When I saved it from my email to my
     Fidonews directory, however, I lost the article.  That makes it the
     first ever I've lost (and hopefully the last).  My apologies to
     Ward, and my thanks for his backup copy.


     -----------------------------------------------------------------

     FIDONEWS 16-52               Page 2                   27 Dec 1999


     =================================================================
                                 EDITORIAL
     =================================================================


                          Internationally Challenged
                                  Doug Myers

     My apologies to those whose expectations I seem to have disappointed
     with last week's editorial.  Some feel that it's best if I put any
     trace of nationalism aside when striving to write for the
     international community.  This was most eloquently expressed by
     Rachael Veraa (of my own country), whose argument is featured in
     the Echotalk article in this issue.

     It's certainly true that I've been trying to encourage greater
     international participation in Fidonews (as well as participation in
     general), so I guess I'm striving to write for an international
     community.  The question is:  what's the best way to go about it?

     Should I proclaim "I'm the Editor of Fidonews and I'll try to write
     what you want to hear?"  Should I then avoid talking about American
     hot dogs because they offend some in the world?  Should I avoid
     mentioning American baseball because soccer is more accepted
     internationally?

     Or should I proclaim "I'm the Editor of Fidonews and I'd like to
     print what you want to write about?"  May I then listen intently as
     Andrei Besedin from Kiev describes how Fido prospers in the Ukraine,
     or as Ward Dossche comments on the view from Zone 2?  May I chuckle
     as Alexander Dovnar and David Pratt from Zone 2 share some Y2K
     humor?

     My choice is the latter.  The folks I actually correspond with in
     the international community don't seem especially put off by a
     little friendly nationalism.  In fact, they unabashedly display it
     themselves, and talk about it.  It flavors the conversation
     agreeably and, in my opinion, brings about a true internationalism
     which is only possible by understanding.



     -----------------------------------------------------------------

     FIDONEWS 16-52               Page 3                   27 Dec 1999


     =================================================================
                           LETTERS TO THE EDITOR
     =================================================================


     * Forwarded (from: ZONE3_SYSOP) by Steve Asher (3:804/432)
     * Originally from Stephen Gibbs (3:690/682) to All.
     * Original dated: Sat Dec 18, 00:09

     Hello All,

     Malcolm Miles has been elected as the new Z3C by a clear majority of
     the Regional Coordinators.

     Congratulations Malcolm and good luck.

     Cheers,
           Stephen


     -----------------------------------------------------------------

     FIDONEWS 16-52               Page 4                   27 Dec 1999


     =================================================================
                                 ARTICLES
     =================================================================

     A Y2K nodelist, by Carol Shenkenberger

     With Y2K looming upon us all, I'd like to take a moment to show one
     technical fix that many need to apply. See, the nodelist is
     generated by a program and that program may need some assistance.

     Most today generate the nodelist segments with a program called
     Makenl.  There is a date schema problem in the PKT file created by
     Makenl.  This isnt the end of the world though.  There is a fix file
     for it.

     Below is a sample makenl control file, simplest type:

     ----------makenl.ctl--------
     c:
     cd \makenl
     makenl
     mnfix c:\makenl\makenl.ctl log:c:\makenl\r13.log

     ;  Make Nodelist Control File For makenl.exe
     ;  NC275 - Mark Hoover
     ;  ------------------------------------------------
     ;
     make network 275
     outfile    net275
     submit     1:13/0
     netaddress 1:275/0
     messages   c:\fd\mail
     BAUDRATE 300,1200,2400,4800,9600,14400,16800,19200,28800,33600

     files

     Net 275 275SEG

     -----------------end makenl.ctl-----

     Now, this assumes one has the data for net275 in a file called
     275SEG.

     To process it, 'Makenl /P' and off it flies.  It makes a netmail
     attach in your mailer and that attachment, needs a little help.

     The fix?  MNFIX02.ZIP.  Place this in your main makenl directory and
     unpack it. Then, make a bat file like this:

     ----upd_275.bat----
     c:
     cd \makenl
     makenl /p
     mnfix c:\makenl\makenl.ctl log:c:\makenl\mknl275.log
     -----end upd_275.bat----

     FIDONEWS 16-52               Page 5                   27 Dec 1999


     Now, shift to use the batch file to process your nodelist.  All is
     well!

     If you dont find MNFIX02.ZIP locally, it is available for FREQ from
     1:275/100. Author of MNFIX is Colin Birch, 2:442/618 (bless you
     Colin!)

     -------------------
     Editor's Note:  MNFIX02.ZIP is included in this week's Fidonews
     archive, FNEWSG52.ZIP.

     Author's Note:  Carol writes that the control files above apply to
     MAKDNL version 2.51 and not necessarily earlier versions.
     Specifically, earlier versions will not support the baud rates
     allowed by version 2.51.


     -----------------------------------------------------------------


                 . -- -- -- -- -- ECHO TALK -- -- -- -- -- .
                 | Food for thought from Fido's echomail.  |
                 | Purloined without permission by D Myers |
                 ` -- -- -- -- -- --  -  -- -- -- -- -- -- '

     The FIDONEWS echo provides readers with an opportunity to interact
     with the Fidonews staff.  In this excerpt, Rachael Veraa eloquently
     takes me to task for US Chauvanism displayed in my last editorial.

     ---------------

      DM> if you don't mind, I'll still honer the icons.  There's no
      DM> greater pastime than a major league baseball game, no more
      DM> perfect meal than a hot dog topped off by a piece of Mom's
      DM> apple pie, no vehicle that can outperform the ol' 57 Chevy
      DM> (once it's properly tuned, of course), and no greater hero than
      DM> the American fighting man who has risked his life that the rest
      DM> of us can take our freedom for granted.

      RV> Doug, I think you've missed the point entirely.  This would be a
      RV> lovely sentiment in a publication called "FIDONEWS, The
      RV> newsletter of the FidoNet community in the United States."  But
      RV> this isn't that publication; it's "FIDONEWS, The newsletter of
      RV> the FidoNet community EVERYWHERE."  And there are lots of places
      RV> in the world where US chauvinism like this is quite uncomfortable
      RV> -- as well as places where these sentiments are downright
      RV> offensive.  Iraqui families, Serbian families in Kosovo, North
      RV> Korean and Vietnamese families who lost loved ones to those
      RV> soldiers you praise have a different view. Baseball is honored in
      RV> the Americas and Japan; in the rest of the world it's an
      RV> incomprehensible eccentricity.  To my mother's relatives in
      RV> France, the hot dog is an abomination.  In most
      RV> autmobile-producing countries, the '57 Chevy is an oversized
      RV> overpowered low-tech gas guzzler.  Even our closest allies, the
      RV> Canadians, are often uncomfortable with chest-beating
      RV> declarations of US superiority (though they're too polite to
     FIDONEWS 16-52               Page 6                   27 Dec 1999


      RV> complain about it). This is an _international_ publication.  It
      RV> should eschew nationalism and enthnocentrism.  It should speak
      RV> for _all_ of FidoNet.

      Before respectfully disagreeing with some of this, I should qualify
      myself.  I've only been to two or three major league baseball games
      in my life (I'm not in a city where there's a team, so I have to
      travel).  Hot Dogs are okay, but I prefer hamburgers.  I don't
      recall my Mom ever making apple pie, though I sampled Mrs. Smith's
      wares at $.15 a piece when I was younger.  I never owned a 57
      Chevy, and I wouldn't have joined the US Army back in the sixties
      if they weren't going to draft my rear end anyway.  Nonetheless,
      I'm a product of the culture which adopted the icons, and I'm proud
      of that culture.

      I don't think I should be presenting myself differently if Fidonews
      is an international newsletter than if it's a US newsletter.  I'm
      still the same person in either circumstance, so to act differently
      would be hypocrisy.

      Nor do I think it's fair that you criticize my pride in my culture
      as a form of chauvinism.  As that term is popularly used today,
      chauvinism implies that I think that other cultures are inferior.
      Just because I enjoy an American Mulligan Stew doesn't mean I can't
      enjoy a Chinese Chopped Suey, does it?  Come to think of it,
      Mulligan Stew sounds Irish, and I'm told that Chopped Suey is a
      creation of America...

      When you warn me to suppress the things of my culture which have
      affected me, I feel you are urging the path of "policical
      correctness" rather than a path of international understanding.
      If I hide these things of which I am a product, and influence
      others to do the same, then they'll never be discussed so that
      understanding is possible.  How, then, does one become this person
      who speaks for all of Fidonet which you wish in charge here?

      In the immortal words of another spinach-toting American icon, "I
      y'am what I y'am..."


     -----------------------------------------------------------------

     FIDONEWS 16-52               Page 7                   27 Dec 1999


     =================================================================
                                  COLUMNS
     =================================================================


                           Old Grandfather's Table
                               Thanks to Ol'WDB

     A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in-law, and
     four-year-old grandson.  The old man's hands trembled, his eyesight
     was blurred, and his step faltered.

     The family ate together at the table.  But, the elderly
     grandfather's shaky hands and failing sight made eating difficult.
     Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor.  When he grasped the
     glass, milk spilled on the tablecloth.

     The son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess.  "We
     must do something about Grandfather," said the son.  "I've had
     enough of the spilled milk, noisy eating and food on the floor."
     So, the husband and wife set a small table in the corner.  There
     Grandfather ate alone, while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner.
     Since, Grandfather had broken a dish or  two, his food was served in
     a wooden bowl.

     When the family glanced in Grandfather's direction, sometimes he had
     a tear in his eye, as he sat alone.  Still, the only words the
     couple had for him were sharp admonitions, when he dropped a fork or
     spilled food.

     The four-year-old watched it all in silence.

     One evening, before supper, the father noticed his son playing with
     wood scraps on the floor.  He asked the child sweetly, "What are you
     making?"

     Just as sweetly, the boy responded, "Oh, I am making a little bowl
     for Papa and Mama to eat their food in when I growup."  The
     four-year-old smiled and went back to work.

     The words so struck the parents that they were speechless.  Then
     tears started to stream down their cheeks.  Though, no word was
     spoken, both knew what must be done.

     That evening, the husband took Grandfather's hand and gently led him
     back to the family table.  For the remainder of his days, he ate
     every meal with the family.  And, for some reason, neither husband
     nor wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped, milk
     spilled or the tablecloth soiled.

     Children are remarkably perceptive.  Their eyes ever observe, their
     ears ever listen, and their minds ever process the messages they
     absorb.  If they see us patiently provide a happy home atmosphere
     for family members, they will imitate that attitude for the rest of
     their lives.  The wise parent realizes that every day the building
     blocks are being laid for the child's future.
     FIDONEWS 16-52               Page 8                   27 Dec 1999


     Let's be wise builders.


     -----------------------------------------------------------------


     ! = New entries this week
     ? = not responding
     ?? = unknown content, doesn't look like fidonet

                       . -- -- -- -- --- -- -- -- -- .
                       |    FIDONET-RELATED SITES    |
                       ` -- -- -- -- --- -- -- -- -- '
                          Last update:  Dec 26, 1999

     FidoNet
     Homepage:     http://www.fidonet.org
     FidoNews:     http://www.fidonews.org   [HTML]
                   ftp://ftp.nwstar.com/fidonet/fidonews/
                   ftp://ftp.sstar.com/fidonet/fnews/
     !Echomail links: http://www.osirusoft.com/fidoip.html
     SDS Files:    http://fidobbs.dk/download (Web Access to SDS)
     FTSC page:    http://www.ftsc.org/
     General:      http://owls.com/~jerrys/fidonet.html
     List server:
         http://www.onelist.com/subscribe.cgi/fidonet-discussion

     Zone 1:       http://www.z1.fidonet.org
       Region 10:  http://www.psnw.com/~net205/region10.html
                   http://www.tnl-online.com/andy/rgn10.htm
         Net 103:  http://www.webworldinc.com/club103/
         Net 203:  http://www.geocities.com/Area51/8687/net203index.html
       Region 11:  http://oeonline.com/~garyg/region11/
        Net 2410:  http://oeonline.com/~garyg/net2410/
       Region 12:  http://sparkys.dyndns.org
       Region 13:  http://www.net264.org/r13.htm
         Net 264:  http://www.net264.org/
         Net 275:  http://www.homershut.net/~mahoover/net275/
       Region 14:
         Net 282:  http://www.rxn.com/~net282/
       Region 17:  http://www.nwstar.com/~region17/
       Region 18:  http://techshop.pdn.net/fido/
       Region 19:  http://members.home.net/hbh3/r19
         Net 124:  http://www.startext.net/np/net124
                   http://texoma.net/~flv
         Net 130:  http://www.startext.net/homes/net130
         Net 393:  http://www.chatter.com/~wb/
     Zone 1 Elist  http://members.xoom.com/echolist/

     Zone 2:       http://www.z2.fidonet.org
                   ftp://ftp.sstar.com/fidonet/zone2 (Z2 nodelists etc.)
       Region 20:  http://www.fidonet.pp.se (in Swedish)
       Region 23:  http://www.fido.dk (in Danish)

       Region 24:  http://www.swb.de/personal/flop/gatebau.html (German)
         Fido-IP:  http://home.nrh.de/fido/ (English/German)
     FIDONEWS 16-52               Page 9                   27 Dec 1999


       Region 25:  http://www.literary.freeserve.co.uk/net2502/
       Region 26:  http://www.nemesis.ie
          REC 26:  http://www.nrgsys.com/orb
       Region 27:  http://telematique.org/ft/r27.htm
       Region 29:  http://www.rtfm.be/fidonet/  (French)
       Region 30:  http://www.fidonet.ch  (German)
     ? Region 33:  http://www.fidoitalia.net  (Italian)
       Region 34:  http://www.pobox.com/cnb/r34.htm  (Spanish)
           REC34:  http://www.geocities.com/SiliconValley/4552/
       Region 36:  http://www.geocities.com/SiliconValley/7207/
       Region 38:  http://public.st.carnet.hr/~blagi/bbs/adriam.html
       Region 41:  http://www.fidonet.gr (Greek/English)
       Region 42:  http://www.fido.cz
       Region 50:  http://www.fido7.com/  (Russian)
        Net 5010:  http://fido.tu-chel.ac.ru/  (Russian)
        Net 5015:  http://www.fido.nnov.ru/  (Russian)
        Net 5030:  http://kenga.ru/fido/  (Russian & English)
        Net 5049:  http://www.n5049.z2.fidonet.org  (English/Russian)
     ??  Net 5085:  http://www.fidonet.uz/ (Russian)

     Zone 3:       http://www.z3.fidonet.org

     Zone 4:
       Region 80:  http://fidobrasil.8m.com  (Portuguese)
       Region 90:
         Net 904:  http://members.tripod.com/~net904 (Spanish)

     Zone 5:       http://www.eastcape.co.za/fidonet/

     Zone 6:       http://www.z6.fidonet.org
       Region 65:  http://www.cfido.com/fidonet/cfidochina.html
                   (Chinese)


                          Fidonet Via Internet Hubs

     See also: http://www.osirusoft.com/fidoip.html

     a @ preceding an individual's name implies a virtual email
     address. The email is translated as follows
     firstlast@osirusoft.com will automatically route to the
     appropriate individual's email.  Anyone in this list will
     also receive routed notice of this feature.  In my case, it
     would still be joejared@osirusoft.com, but you get the idea.

     Also, as information is provided to me, I will be adding a
     latency field to each node, which is defined as the maximum
     time between when the message is received, and when it is
     sent on to other nodes, or available to be sent onward,
     defined in minutes. A latency of ! implies that there is an
     immediate response, and an attempt to deliver immediately
     after processing, or a "MinuteMail System", as it were.

                v-email flag firstnamelastname@osirusoft.com
                | email address or
     Node#      | Operator          | Facilities (*) | Speed,| Basic Rate
     FIDONEWS 16-52               Page 10                  27 Dec 1999


                |                   |                |latency|
     -----------+-------------------+----------------+-------+------------
     Zone 1     |                   |                |       |
       10/3     @ Brenda Donovan    | FTP,UUE,BinkP  | 384K,30| $??/$10
       10/345   @ Todd Cochrane     | FTP,BinkP      | T1,!  | n/c
       12/12    @ Ken Wilson        | FTP            | T1    | $24mo.
       13/25    @ Jim Balcom        | FTP            | 56k   | $20mo.
      103/5     @ Mark Luetger      | BinkP          | 384k,!| n/c
      103/153   @ Michael Box       | BinkP          | aDSL,!| n/c
      103/301   @ Joe Jared         | BinkP,FTP      | aDSL,!| n/c
      103/401   @ Warren Bonner     | BinkP          | aDSL,!| n/c
      105/8     | Russ Johnson      | FTP,BinkP,VMoT | 384k  | n/c
      105/72    @ Larry James       | FTP            | aDSL  | $5/$15 mo
      106/1     @ Matt Bedynek      | BinkP, FTP     | DS-3,5| $5/$15 mo
      106/6018  | Lawrence Garvin   | FTP, VMoT      | aDSL,60| n/c
      107/453   @ Jeffrey Estevez| FTP,BinkP,VMoT,UUE| 56k,60| $10 mo.
      140/1     @ Bob Seaborn       | FTP            | T3,30 | $5/$16
      167/133   | Stephen Monteith  | BinkP          | 128k+ | n/c
      211/417   @ Korombos          | BinkP,UUE,FTP  | T1    | n/c
      218/109   @ Matt Munson       | BinkP,UUE      | 33.6k | n/c
      244/2     | Kari Suomela   | FTP,VMoT,BinkP,UUE| T1,!  | $25.00/mo
      246/160   @ Mason Vye         | FTP, UUE       | 56K   | n/c
      271/140   @ Tom Barstow       | UUE,FTP        | T1    | n/c
      280/169   | Brian Greenstreet | FTP            | 33.6  | $2mo.
      342/3     @ Richard Dodsworth | BinkP,FTP      | 128K+ | n/c
      395/670   | Arthur Stark      | BinkD,FTP      | 128k  | n/c
      396/1     @ John Souvestre    | FTP,VMoT       | T1,10 | $5/mo
      396/45    | Marc Lewis        | UUE            | 33.6  | $26/yr
     2604/104   @ Jim Mclaughlin    | FTP,VMoT,UUE   | 33.6  | $1mo
     2613/404   @ David Moufarrege  | BinkP,FTP,VMoT | 128k+,!| n/c
     2624/306   @ David Calafrancesco  | VMoT        | 33.6  | n/c
     3613/2     @ jyates@bsdi.ldl.net | UUE            | 28.8  | n/c
     3632/84    | Robert Todd    |FTP,VMoT,UUE,BinkP | 57.6k | n/c
     3639/93    @ Ross Cassell      | FTP, BinkP     |128K+,!| n/c
     3651/9     @ Jerry Gause       | FTP,VMoT       | 33.6  | $3/$6
     --------------------------------------------------------------
     Zone 2     |
       20/11    | Henrik Lindhe     | BinkP          | ???   | n/c
       31/1     | Gabriel Plutzar   | BinkP          | T1+   | n/c
      203/600   | Mikael Karlsson   | UUE            | 64k   | n/c
      221/360   @ Tommi Koivula     | BinkP,UUE      | ???   | n/c
      236/205   @ Michael Kaaber    | BinkP          | ???   | n/c
      246/2098  | Volker Imre       | BinkP          | ???   | n/c
      284/800   @ Jeroen VanDeLeur  | FTP,UUE        | 64k   | n/c
      292/626   | Filip Ruymen      | Binkp, UUE     | 128K+ | n/c
      292/2003  | Eric Vaneberck    | BinkP          | 768k  | n/c
      301/1     | Peter Witschi     | BinkP          | 768k  | n/c
      332/807   | Roberto Mascolo   | BinkP          | ???   | n/c
      335/535   @ Mario Mure        | BinkP,VMot,UUE | 64k   | n/c
      335/610   | Gino Lucrezi      | UUE            | 33.6  | n/c
      344/201   | Julio Garcia      | BinkP          | ???   | n/c
      346/3     @ Carlos Navarro    | UUE            | ???   | n/c
      382/100   | Sinisa Burina     | BinkP          | ???   | n/c
      406/555   | Ofir Michaeli &   | BinkP          | ???   | n/c
      406/555   | Marius Kaizerman  | BinkP          | ???   | n/c
      423/81    | Milos Bajer       | BinkP          | ???   | n/c
     FIDONEWS 16-52               Page 11                  27 Dec 1999


      464/4077  | Serguei Trouchelle| UUE            | 19.2  | n/c
      465/204   | Va Milushnikov    | BinkP          | 33.6k | n/c
      469/84    | Max Masyutin      | VMoT           | 256k  | n/c
      480/112   | Adam Sarapata| FTP, VMoT, UUE,BinkP| 128k  | n/c
     2411/413   @ Dennis Dittrich   | UUE,BinkP      | 64k   | n/c
     2446/301   | Lothar Behet | BinkP,VMoT,UUE,FTP  | 64K   | n/c
     2474/275   | Christian Emig    | UUE            | 64k   | unkn
     5030/115   | Andrey Podkolzin  | BinkP          | ???   | n/c
     5100/8     | Egons Bush        | BinkP          | ???   | n/c
     5020/1159  | Gennady Kudryashoff | UUE          | 33.6  | n/c
     --------------------------------------------------------------
     Zone 3
      633/260   @ Malcolm Miles     | FTP,BinkP      | 64K   | n/c
      640/954   | Rick Van Ruth     | FTP,VMot,UUE,BinkP| 56K| n/c
      774/605   @ Barry Blackford|BinkP,VMoT:10023,ifcico,FTP |33.6| n/c

     --------------------------------------------------------------
     Zone 4
      905/100   | Fabian Gervan     | VMoT,UUE,BinkP | 128k  | n/c
      902/18    | Javier Tejedor    | UUE            | 33,6  | n/c

     --
     * FTP   = Internet File Transfer Protocol
     * VMoT  = Virtual Mailer over Telnet (various)
     * UUE   = uuencode<->email type transfers
     * BinkP = front end mailer for TCPIP networks

     ----------------------------------------------
     Fidonet oriented news servers

     news.osirusoft.com
     news.tardis.net

     Fidonet oriented chat rooms.

     room #fidonet  5PM (PDT 11AM GMT) Sundays
     irc.isonline.com
     irc.killaz-r-us.com
     irc.korombos.org


     ----------------------------------------------

     Please send updates, corrections and suggestions to
     Joe Jared, 1:103/301, joejared@osirusoft.com, and
     complaints to jarhead@osirusoft.com .


     -----------------------------------------------------------------

     FIDONEWS 16-52               Page 12                  27 Dec 1999


     =================================================================
                            COORDINATORS CORNER
     =================================================================


     The figures ... on a plate ...

     By Ward Dossche
        2:292/854

     Dear Editor,

     Just read a recent editorial and I got the writing-itch. I'll quickly
     entrust the ideas to paper before I get the writing-cramp.

     > What's happening on the backbones after George Peace announced that
     > he'll be shutting down?  I'm getting mixed signals, myself.

     Boy, are you right ...

     Apart from the loss that the departure of George means it equally
     showed that there is a sparkle of the old Fidonet alive.

     "Whattayamean?" I hear you asking ...

     Well, within 24/48 hours of the news about George's departure hitting
     the wires I started getting all kinds of unsollicited offers to com-
     mercially pick-up mail elsewhere.

     It made me feel alright about Fidonet that the vulture-approach is
     still very much alive. George isn't gone yet and some people are
     already picking the skeleton ...

     > What's it going to be for the new Millennium?  Are the 'bones going
     > to settle down to the business of moving mail, or are we going to
     > see more of the pointless bickering punctuated by power plays?  This
     > editor finds prognostication very difficult... especially now that
     > the future is getting involved.

     Interesting subject too ... lemme see ...

     "Moving mail" is one thing ... "where to" is another.

     I don't know if the weekly statistics about nodelist-evolution reaches
     many people but I may have to start publishing it again. Here are
     today's (Dec.17) figures anyway ...

      +--------+-------+----------+----------+----------+----------+--+
      !Zone/Jul!Ndl-323!Nodel.-330!Nodel.-337!Nodel.-344!Nodel.-351!%%!
      +--------+-------+----------+----------+----------+----------+--+
      !  1/351 !  2359 ! 2359    0! 2359    0! 2302  -57! 2280  -22!15!
      !  2/351 ! 12038 !12057   19!12078   21!12019  -59!12002  -17!77!
      !  3/344 !   208 !  206   -2!  206    0!  197   -9!  197    0! 1!
      !  4/351 !   213 !  215    2!  215    0!  215    0!  208   -7! 1!
      !  5/344 !    53 !   53    0!   53    0!   53    0!   53    0! 0!
      !  6/225 !   916 !  916    0!  916    0!  916    0!  916    0! 6!
     FIDONEWS 16-52               Page 13                  27 Dec 1999


      +--------+-------+----------+----------+----------+----------+--+
               ! 15787 !15806   19!15827   21!15702 -125!15656  -46!
               +-------+----------+----------+----------+----------+

     .... so people can generate their own thoughts.

     What these figures don't tell us for example is that Russia (R50) with
     its 5427 is about 2.5 times as large as zone-1 ... and growing too ...

      +--------+-------+----------+----------+----------+----------+
      !Reg./Jul!Ndl-323!Nodel.-330!Nodel.-337!Nodel.-344!Nodel.-351!
      +--------+-------+----------+----------+----------+----------+
      ! 50/351 !  5354 ! 5387  +33! 5387    0! 5397  +10! 5427  +30!
      +--------+-------+----------+----------+----------+----------+

     It also means that the true decline in zone-2, ex.R50, is steeper than
     shown by the figures.

     My intention is not to spark a doomsday-discussion about Fidonet
     but its participants need to realise that until something dramatical-
     ly new happens, any politicking and power-games about backbones is a
     rather silly concept for continuation.

     Ward


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     FIDONEWS 16-52               Page 14                  27 Dec 1999


     =================================================================
                                 NET HUMOR
     =================================================================


        The Night Before Y2K
      Thanks to Alexander Dovnar
            2:450/154.3


      'Twas the night before Y2K,
      And all through the nation
      We awaited The Bug,
      The Millennium sensation.

      The chips were replaced
      In computers with care,
      In hopes that ol' Bugsy
      Wouldn't stop there.

      While some folks could think
      They were snug in their beds
      Others had visions
      Of dread in their heads.

      And Ma with her PC,
      And I with my Mac
      Had just logged on the Net
      And kicked back with a snack.

      When over the server,
      There arose such a clatter
      I called Mister Gates
      To see what was the matter.

      But he was away,
      So I flew like a flash
      Off to my bank
      To withdraw all my cash.

      When what with my wandering eyes
      Should I see?
      My good old Mac
      Looked sick to me.

      The hack of all hackers
      Was looking so smug,
      I knew that it must be
      The Y2K Bug!

      His image downloaded
      In no time at all,
      He whistled and shouted,
      Let all systems fall!

      Go Intel! Go Gateway!
     FIDONEWS 16-52               Page 15                  27 Dec 1999


      Now HP! Big Blue!
      Everything Compaq,
      And Pentium too!

      All processors big,
      All processors small,
      Crash away! Crash away!
      Crash away all!

      As I drew in my breath
      And was turning around,
      Out through the modem,
      He came with a bound.

      He was covered with fur,
      And slung on his back
      Was a sack full of virus's,
      Set for attack.

      His eyes-how they twinkled!
      His dimples-how merry!
      As midnight approached, though
      Things soon became scary.

      He was chubby and plump,
      Perpetually grinning,
      And I laughed when I saw him
      Though my hard drive stopped spinning.

      A wink of his eye,
      And a twist of his head,
      Soon gave me to know
      A new feeling of dread.

      He spoke not a word,
      But went straight to his work,
      He changed all the clocks,
      Then turned with a jerk.

      With a twitch of his nose,
      And a quick little wink,
      All things electronic
      Soon went on the blink.

      He zoomed from my system,
      To the next folks on line,
      He caused such a disruption,
      Could this be a sign?

      Then I heard him exclaim,
      With a loud, hearty cry,
      Happy Y2K to all,
      Kiss your PC's goodbye!!!!!


     -----------------------------------------------------------------
     FIDONEWS 16-52               Page 16                  27 Dec 1999


                                 The Y2K Song
                            Thanks to David Pratt
                                  2:250/355

      (with apologies to "Santa Claus is Coming to Town")

      You better watch out,
      The lights might go out,
      The TV shuts off,
      Then everyone shouts
      Y2K is coming to town

      They say that we'll be
      Safe as can be
      But don't drink the water, naturally
      Y2K is coming to town

      If everyone is ready
      Why do we hold our breath
      They're telling us to hoard water
      And it's scaring folks to death!

      So you'd better prepare
      Your grab-and-go kit
      If everything fails guys
      Looks like we're it

      Get those batteries charged!
      Y2K is looming!
      SysOps are ready for Y2K!

      --Kim Paquette, N8YWX


     -----------------------------------------------------------------

     FIDONEWS 16-52               Page 17                  27 Dec 1999


     =================================================================
                              COMIX IN ASCII
     =================================================================


                                /\
                               / O\            O! TannenCow!
                              / ,  \              O! TannenCow!
                             /  O   \
                             -/ ,  \-
                             /  O   \
                            /,    ,  \
                           / O    O   \
                           -/  ,     \-
                           /   O   ,  \
                          /  ,     O  ,\  (__)
                         /   O   ,    O \ (oo)
                        /        O       \-\/
                        ------------------||
                                ||/ ||----||
                                ||  ~~    ~~


     -----------------------------------------------------------------

     FIDONEWS 16-52               Page 18                  27 Dec 1999


     =================================================================
                           FIDONEWS INFORMATION
     =================================================================

                                   Masthead

     + -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --  FIDONEWS STAFF - -- -- -- -- -- -- -- +
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     |             (Warren uses the pen name "Ol'WDB")                |
     | Humor:      Roy Reed, rcreed@juno.com                          |
     |                                                                |
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     + -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -  EDITORS EMERITI - -- -- -- -- -- -- -- +
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     FIDONEWS 16-52               Page 19                  27 Dec 1999


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