Yes! It IS another F.I.S.H. phile! Hooray for F.I.S.H.!!! -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Do your neighbors have annoying little dogs that bark their heads off any time you step foot outside? Does your mom feel sorry for some scummy white trash bitch and let her stay at your house? -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!!! -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-==-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- |============================================================================| | DISCLAIMER: As usual, this is for informational porpoises. Don't do this | | at home, kids! blah blah blah No no Don't do this junk. I wrote it to | | make you laugh. Yeah.... that's it! -Me | |============================================================================| Part I. The cute little woofy-woofys -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- How do you make those annoying neighbor dogs stop barking? 1. Hose them down with a garden hose 2. File a complaint with your local humane society 3. Slip them some meat with lye or drano or some other fun substance on it 4. Tell your neighbors that if they don't stop barking you'll kill them 5. Hit them on the head with a hammer - scramble their brain a little 6. Yell at them until they die 7. Steal someones cat and throw it over the fence so they chase it 8. Throw rocks at them until your neighbor comes and yells at you 9. Set them on fire. Make it look like an accident 10. Run the little beasties over 11. Kick their cute little heads 12. Pull their ears off 13. Accidentally open your neighbors gate and set them free 14. Stomp on them until they stop squealing 15. Steal their food so they starve 16. Sew their mouths shut 17. Muzzle them 18. Give them alum 19. Give them laxatives so they ... in the house 20. Give them lots of cheese so they can't ... at all 21. Feed them battery acid 22. Give them hot salsa Ok no more... Part II. The stupid scummy bitch -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- How do you rid yourself of her? Or at least make her life hell. 1. Put itching powder in her bed 2. Have your friends egg her car 3. Have your friends break her cars windows 4. Have your friends paint her car 5. Have your friends stick bologna to her car - it rips off the paint when it dries. Taco sauce works well too. Anything spicy 6. Phreak off her phone line and run up her bill 7. Steal her credit cards and her versateller card and steal money 8. Steal her mail 9. Read her mail 10. Burn her mail 11. Noise box (q.v.) her line 12. Disconnect her phone line 13. Beige box her line and listen in on her conversations 14. Use her conversations against her 15. Tell her boyfriend she came home with another guy 16. Eat her mail 17. Poison her food 18. Sabotage her cooking when she's not looking 19. Leave thumbtacks on her carpet 20. Put vaseline all over the towels in her bathroom 21. Sneak in the bathroom while she is in the shower and take all the towels. No peeking, you pervert 22. Lock her in her room with your own little lock, on the outside 23. Paint her windows black so she thinks it is nighttime, and reset her clocks 24. Paint her windows black and turn her power off 25. Does she smoke? Give her an exploding cigarette 26. Put vaseline on the toilet seat 27. Eat all the food she buys 28. Torment her cat 29. Murder her cat. Watch her cry 30. Staple her sleeves shut 31. Glue her sleeves shut 32. Remove her sleeves 33. Eat her sleeves 34. Eat her arms 35. Put cups of water on top of her door. Splash! 36. Hit HER on the head with a hammer - Scramble her brain a little 37. Root through her room and take something important. Burn it 38. Set her room on fire 39. Set her on fire 40. Slash her convertible's vinyl top - works well in the rain 41. The old standby - bananas in the tailpipe 42. File a complaint with her boss about her - get her fired 43. Pop her waterbed - watch her go for a swim 44. Unroll her TP and put ben gay on it and roll it back up 45. For more scalding fun, put red pepper on the ben gay 46. Superglue her toothbrush down 47. Does she have small rodents as pets? Staple them to their cage 48. Staple her cats tail down to the floor 49. Put contact explosives on her floor 50. Open up the heating duct in her room and leave fine smelling substances in there like: squid oil, limburger, eggs, a cup of urine, dog droppings, her socks 51. Put dye in her mouthwash 52. Put some Jell-O in her bed. Preferably green 53. Sabotage her birth control - poke pins through her condoms 54. Does she get that "Not-So-Fresh" feeling? Add some gasoline! 55. Use that stinky perfume they have at humor shops and replace hers with it 56. Feeling daring? Stab her 57. Pay some hit guy to run her off the road 58. Sell her possessions in one of those classified local magazines 59. Throw her stuff away 60. Assassin box her phone - the one that shocks you 61. Put some gun powder in her light bulb so when she turns it on, bye bye filthy whore 62. Bump into her and spill grape juice on that new white suit 63. Spike her coffee so she goes to work drunk, or crashes her car 64. Take up the violin and hit some *awful* notes when you practice 65. Fill her car up with water and put some goldfish in there 66. Put sugar in her gas tank 67. Dig a hole in your front yard and cover it with sod so she falls in 68. Spikes at the bottom of the hole would be nice 69. Put balloons behind her tires so she thinks she popped them 70. Slash her spare tire, then put a nail behind her other tire 71. Put tigers in her closet 72. Get Satan to come here and take her soul 73. Can you tell I'm getting desperate? 74. Steal her car battery 75. Pay some guy to do a drive-by. They blame them on gangs 76. Or just shoot her yourself. Make sure she dies! 77. Play your tuba all night long 78. Steal all of her unmentionables and set them on fire. No underwear! 79. Call your favorite BBSs -- in Tokyo -- from her room 80. Siphon the gas out of her tank, and use it for your car. She'll be late for work. Works more than once 81. Pee on the toilet seat. Women hate this 82. Switch hydrogen peroxide for her listerine. Doesn't do anything, but it tastes like ships 83. Switch unleaded for her Listerine. Watch her slowly be eaten away 84. Or offer to help: light a match 85. Staple her eyelids shut 86. Does she have any hobbies? Like archery? Cut her bow string 87. Is she a total bitch? sew her mouth shut 88. I like Ike! 89. Is she liberal scum? Register her with the Republicans 90. Send her junk mail 91. Send her flowers from another woman 92. Give her number out in the bathroom stalls at a gas station 93. Auto-annoyance dial her 94. Steal a bunch of chickens and put them in her room 95. Play loud music, but something bonoxious like country or rap 96. Shave her cat, dye it green, and paint it plaid. Watch her cry 97. Plant a bomb in her stuffed animal 98. Get bones and leave them at her door when your friends come over. they will think she is psychotic 99. Call 911 on her. Say she is trying to kill you 100. Run over her cat with a lawnmower 101. Smash her cat with a steam roller 102. Open up her car and remove random parts 103. Clip her fan belt so her car overheats 104. Let out her power steering fluid 105. Let out her power brake fluid 105. Short her battery out 106. I am sick of talking about her car 107. Answer her phone and forget important messages 108. Get all of her stuff and set it up on the front lawn the same way it was in your house 109. Serve her with an eviction notice 110. Paint her room day-glo green 111. Is she epileptic? Shine a strobe light at her and watch her have a seizure 112. Loosen the bolts in her ceiling fan 113. Take up bowling. Drop the ball on her toe 114. Take up tennis. Play in her room 115. Degausse her cheesy tapes 116. Shove a magnet on her TV screen and watch the pretty colors. Oops didn't mean to leave that purple blotch on her screen 117. Set her up on a blind date -- with another woman 118. Set her up on a blind date -- with a sheep 119. Loosen all the bolts in her car so she drops parts along the way, and people yell 'Get a horse!' at her 120. Ever hear that if you talk nice to plants, they will grow? Yell and swear at them. They'll die That's enough! I'll ask Punk Rock Girl if he wants to add any /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ | Phor more phun phor all occasions, call: | | | | The Sect DeBBie'S CLoSeT | | F.I.S.H. World Headquarters I F.I.S.H. World Headquarters ][ | | FISHNeT 666:13/1 FISHNeT 666:13/0 | 916/I'M-SEXY 801/IFO-RGOT | | Sysop: Punk Rock Girl Sysop: The Infidel | | 14.4 v.32/1250m/WaReZ up the butt 14.4 v.32/1200m/programming/arcane | \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/