###################################################################### ## PH#002 ÄÍðZhit Axis Nation presentsðÍÄ W () W ## ## Blind Faith, No More!! \||/ ## ## || ## ## Written by: Guido Sanchez _/ \_ ## ## Dated: June 15, 1991 ## ## ## ## Greet(s) to: Kimo, David Lynch, Hades, Mr. Rogers and ZANists!! ## ## ## ## Ying Yang BBS The Baron's Bistro FuNHouseBBS ## ## ZAN Promised Land ZAN Mosque#001 ZAN Mosque#002 ## ## SysOp: CoP SysOp: The Baron SysOp: Erasmus ## ###################################################################### ThisClaimer: This is for educational, destructional, and anarchical purposes..If anything happens to you, I AM responsible... but remember I KNOW where you LIVE!!! You can distribute this in any way (ZIP, by hand), but DO NOT EDIT THIS file!! If you happen to pull out your EDIT prog and work on this, PLEASE leave the opening screen, and add your additions at the end of the file... ]--------------------------------------------------------------------[ Blind Faith, No More!!!! Aren't I Punny??? Hahaha. Well, this is THE Theologistic Text File that debunks most every Western Religion and a couple of other ones. So if you're going to be offended by this, DON'T READ IT!!! Ok??? There. That's my ThatClaimer. So, sorry about the Margins, and Onward We Go !!!!!!! ]--------------------------------------------------------------------[ Christianity Let's start off here on the most pitiful "Religion" (if you can call it that) in the world. Yes, Christianity. Well, in my opinion, Religion is useless, but Christianity is useful. It makes ZANists including myself LAUGH UNTIL THE MESSIAH ARISES, that is to say, laugh for eternity. I got news for the Christians: The Messiah Ain't Coming!!! He hasn't come, and Never Will!! He was killed by something called "A Logical Thought" that said that there is NO proof to Jesus Christ's Existence!!! Let's explore now the different types of "proof" that a Christian would be likely to give to someone such as I telling them that there is no Jesus or God... "What about the BIBLE???" What ABOUT the Bible?? If you believe in something just because you read it in a book, then why not practice that on ALL books?? Let's see...Well, that means according to the Great Prophet H.P. Lovecraft that there is a Great Demon named Cthulhu whom we should all worship!! And what about the Prophet Thomas Clancy?? Should we all get down on are knees and pray every day for the coming of the great Messiah-The Red October??? This is stupid believing and worshiping everything you read in a "book" like the Bible, the Torah, the Koran, the Satanic Bible, The Tao of Pooh, etc. Especially when you force it on others. "If you keep on saying that, you may burn in Hell!" Um...how can I burn in Hell, if I don't even believe in the Place? If anyone's seen the movie "Eric The Viking", they might know what I'm talking about. The old Christian man COULDN'T go to Valhalla, Asgard, or Nifflehiem (hell) and didn't even know he was there because he didn't believe in it. I can't burn in hell!! "Then you must worship Satan!!" Well, for starters, I've read MANY holy books including I Ching, The Bible, The Torah, The Koran, and Gleanings From the Writings of Ba'ha''ulah (sp??)(The guy who started the Ba'hai faith). In none of these books is there ANY mention of a devil EXCEPT for the New Testament on which the Christianity belief is based on. I doubt most Christians have read the Bible as I have, and I must say that it is hilarious. The only being I MIGHT consider to acknowledge is Job who says in JOB 10:4 "I am sick of life, sick of it". Does that mean that he will burn too?? "But Jesus LOVES us all!!!" Excuse me, but can I just point out one thing? If JESUS loves us all SO much, then why did you just say I might burn in hell? Why would someone who I don't believe in, but loves me so much let me burn in a place I don't believe in and let me experience so much pain that I'd be forced to believe in him? Answer me that? Is it, kinda like what our parents say, "For your own good" or is it just to "build character"? Give me a freakin' break!!! At this point the Christian I am arguing with breaks down and becomes an atheist like myself. For all of you swinging Atheist ZANists: This paper should come in handy when arguing with a Christian babe who wants to convert you, and is turned on by "persuasive skills". Make as many copies as you can of this and keep one in every sock you possess. ]--------------------------------------------------------------------[ The Old Testament Religions I'm not even going to acknowledge the importance of these two religions, and I am lumping them together just to piss them off. To all of you Catholics and Jews who read past the ThatClaimer in hopes that I would ONLY be writing about Christians: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. You should have stopped reading then!! Now, you're stuck!! Catholicism A pathetic religion, but not a pure social religion like Christianity. Basically, Catholics are a bunch of Irish people who like to get drunk and, like the devil, quote the scripture for their own purposes. I think they're the ones who blotted out the 11th Commandment ,"Thou shalt not get Plastered". They take their Lord's name in vain, but they'll kill you if YOU do. There is no point in this religion. On the upside, it IS fun to find a weanie Catholic person and torment them endlessly about their father's drinking problem. Even if you don't know IF they even have a father, chances are it'll get to 'em. Catholicism was my Father's religion before he denounced it in High School. He realized that it was a Double Negative to call something a Parochial, or Private, School when it was for a religion thats name meant "universal". So, a Universal Private school doesn't make much sense. If a high schooler doesn't go to a Catholic school but is Catholic, chances are good that they'll denounce their faith. That time is the perfect time for adultery in young girls, so keep on the lookout for High School Catholic Girls. Catholicism isn't even FUNNY by itself, and should be avoided at all costs. Judaism Was founded by the late Uda, who added his name to the once-popular religion Jism to produce Judaism. Just kidding, but Jewish people are to be avoided at all costs, as is the Religion. They CELEBRATE going through puberty! That's great, A Jewish boy having his Bar Mitzvah. Listen to him:"Great, I masturbate regularly, I act awkward around girls, And I'm growing hair in places I was afraid to wash yesterday, and now my parents are throwing me a PARTY!!!!". Same for the Girls and their Bat Mitzvah. As a rule, all Jewish girls are rich practitioners of incest whom should be shunned. They grow hair in more places than males, and have the tendency to be locked up in the City Pound for being mistaken for dogs. Stay away from Judaism, and its relics: Delicatessans, Yalmakas, and Rolex Watches. ]--------------------------------------------------------------------[ SATANISM!!! What? think that I'd Leave you out because you're not really a religion just a bunch of losers who want to be noticed??? Well, you were right!!! I respect you for that!!!! ]--------------------------------------------------------------------[ The Eastern Religions The more philosophical religions of the far east are not as bad as the more outgoing and social religions of the west. There are no "Potlucks" or "Collection Plates" in Buddahism or Taoism. There is instead Complication and Contemplation. In other words, it's really boring except for those who are Ministers of Philosophy and Theology for ZAN. They have the Ying and the Yang, the Black and the White, unlike the ZANist's Spectrum and Nothing, the Colors of Chaos. These religions are for people who are interested by them, or have nothing better to do. WARNING: YOU MUST NOT JOIN ANY OF THESE RELIGIONS. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO DO SO. DOING SO WILL ALTER THE FABRIC OF THE TIME/SPACE CONTINUUM. IT WILL ALSO DISCREDIT ME. They are only for research, and are not intended for joining. If I was forced to choose a religion, an Eastern one would be my main choice. ]--------------------------------------------------------------------[ My Solution!!! We the ZANists should take it upon ourselves to round up any person who goes to church and SHOOT THEM. HITLER HAD THE RIGHT IDEA, he was just singling out one group. All religions deserve to die!!! ]--------------------------------------------------------------------[ A Story This is a story I thought up when I asked my Father how one would go about exterminating all relgion. This was a long while back,so I'll try to remember this as accurately as possible... One day a spaceship landed in the year 1A0B (hexidecimal). A being stepped out proclaiming itself to be GOD of all religions and that today was the Judgement Day proclaimed by all religions. All god- fearing humans boarded his ship at his request and promise that the ship was going to the Promised Land or Heaven or Valhalla or whatever. So, all of them were on board, and all atheists and agnostics were left on the planet, which would soon become HELL, or so the religious people believed. So after 2 days of traveling, the space being ate all of the religious people, thus relieving Earth of all religion and providing himself with a good meal. He went on to other planets, and soon purged the Universe of all religion. THE END!!!!!!! So, now I hope you know what to do when the Chariot of the Gods approaches and asks for the faithful ones. Deny every religion and hold tight to the Fragile framework of the Earth's Religion: ZAN. ]--------------------------------------------------------------------[ PLEASEE!!!!! Tell me what you think about this manifesto!!! Live Long and Zhit!!!!! -Guido Sanchez MoPZAN EoLAAAAA ]--------------------------------------------------------------------[