GIUDE TO BBS GEEKS [1] LOGGING ON AS A NEW USER A TYPICAL GEEK WILL TRY ABOUT 10 DIFFERENT NAMES TILL HE FINDS A DUMB NAME LIKE "CAPTAIN BOB". A TYPICAL GEEK WILL ENTER 291- 4970 AT THE NUMBER INPUT INSTEAD OF 504-291-4970 EVEN AFTER IT SAYS "ENTER IN THE XXX-XXX-XXXX FORMAT" . HE WILL USUALLY DO THIS FOR ABOUT 10 TIMES ALSO TILL THE SYSOP COMES IN AND HELPS. A TYPICAL GEEK WILL NOT WRITE DOWN HIS ACCOUNT EVEN AFTER IT WAS GIVEN TWICE. THEN LOGON 1 WEEK LATER AND WONDER WHY HIS ACCOUNT DOESNT WORK. A TYPICAL GEEK WILL LOGON AND GET MORE THEN ONE ACCOUNT WITH THE SYSTEM AND TELL THE SYSOP HIS DOG ATE THE PAPER THAT THE FIRST ACCOUNT WAS ON. [2] MESSAGES A TYPICAL GEEK WILL NOT FIGURE OUT THAT "S" STANDS FOR SCAN AND TRY EVERY OTHER LETTER IN THE ALAPHABET. A TYPICAL GEEK WILL THINK SINCE HE CAN'T SEEM TO SCAN MESSAGES THAT THERE ARE NO MESSAGES AND CALL THE BBS A PIECE OF JUNK. A TYPICAL GEEK WILL NOT UNDERSTAND THAT MESSAGES ABOUT CRACKING BELONG ON THE CRACKING BOARD AND MESSAGES ON WARES BELONG ON THE PIRATE BOARD. THEN HE WILL WONDER WHY HIS MESSAGE GOT DELETED. A TYPICAL GEEK WILL NEVER USE QUICKSCAN. A TYPICAL GEEK WILL POST MESSAGES SUCH AS "HOW DO I PHREAK?", AND THEN WONDER WHY NO ONE ANSWERS. A TYPICAL GEEK NEVER POSTS MESSAGES. A TYPICAL GEEK ASKS HOW TO BACKSPACE IN MESSAGES. REAL USERS HAVE MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO DO. [3] EMAIL A TYPICAL GEEK SENDS MESSAGES TO SOMOEONE THATS NOT EVEN ON THE BBS. A TYPICAL GEEK SENDS MESSAGES TO THE SYSOP VIA EMAIL. A TYPICAL GEEK DOESN'T USE THE "R"EPLY FUNCTION . A TYPICAL GEEK SENDS EMAIL TO USERS HE THAT ARE WAY ABOVE HIS LEVEL, AND EXPECTS THEM TO GIVE OUT PROGRAMS. A TYPICAL GEEK FILLS UP A USERS MAILBOX WITH THE SAME LETTERS. [4] PAGING SYSOPS A TYPICAL GEEK PAGES THE SYSOP ABOUT 20 TIMES EVEN AFTER THE PAGE HAS TOLD HIM NOT TOO. A TYPICAL GEEK PAGES THE SYSOP AROUND 3 A.M. AND EXPECTST HE SYSOP TO COME ANSWER. A TYPICAL GEEK PAGES THE SYSOP ON FRIDAY OR SATURDAY NIGHT. COOL SYSOPS ARENT HOME ON THOSE NIGHTS. A TYPICAL GEEK PAGES THE SYSOP RIGHT AFTER THEY ARE THROUGH CHATTING TO ASK HIM ANOTHER DUMB QUESTION. A TYPICAL GEEK TYPES REAL SLOW. [5] MISCELLANOUS STUFF A TYPICAL GEEK CALLS BACK AFTER THE SYSTEM HAS TOLD HIM ALL HIS CALLS ARE USED UP. A TYPICAL GEEK NEVER USES "O". A TYPICAL GEEK TRYS TO PUT UP HIS OWN LAME BBS CAUSE HE THINKS ITS NEAT. THESE BBS USUALLY STAY UP FOR ABOUT 2 OR 3 DAYS CAUSE THE SYSOP FOUND OUT THAT HIS USERS ARE WAY ABOVE HIS HEAD. A TYPICAL GEEK FILLS UP THE DISK SPACE WITH USUAL MESSAGES LIKE "CRACKILG BEAGLE BROS.", THAT HE THINKS WILL BE HELPFUL. A TYPICAL GEEK USES NETWORKERS AND WONDERS WHY HE CAN'T GET DISKFER TO WORK. A TYPICAL GEEK READS THE SAME TEXT FILES OVER AND OVER AGAIN CAUSE HE DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO USE THE BUFFER. CONCLUSION ---------- AS IN "PIRATES GUIDE" GEEKS ALWAYS FIND NEW WAYS OF BEING GEEKS. IF I HAVE OFFENDED ANYONE IN THIS FILE THEN MAYBE YOU MIGHT WANT TO STOP DOING THOSE THINGS. MOST OF THE THINGS IN THE FILE ANGER SYSOPS, AND IF YOU WANT HIGH ACCESS I SUGGEST YOU DON'T DO THEM. I WILL BE PUTTING OUT A "GEEK USERS II" LATER ON.