Date: Mon, 30 Nov 92 12:51:19 PST
From: 0028017@msgate.emis.hac.com (Douglas M. Kavner)
Subject: Laser Printer Sucks up Cat

Danger from personal computers?  Most people think of electromagnetic fields
or getting zapped while monkeying around inside the box.  Nothing immediately
threatening could happen while just printing a spreadsheet.  Right?

That's what I thought until last week when my wife was severely bitten by our
kitten as it was hanging in mid-air by the tip of its tail.  It all started so
innocently.  Our 8-month-old kitten likes to lie on top of our Apple Personal
LaserWriter LS.  We have tried to get him off, but he keeps getting back up on
it.  He must like the hum.  My wife was printing a few pages in the
background.  While she was talking on the phone, there suddenly was a shriek
from the kitten.  The printer was only about 2 feet away from her, luckily
turned the opposite direction.  The kitten was sprawled stiff on top of the
printer, like he had been stuffed.  We just had him declawed, but his teeth
were grabbing at anything in sight, including my wife's arm as she tried to
turn off the printer.  The party on the other end of the phone thought that
both the kitten and my wife were being murdered.

After a few deep bites, the printer was off, but the tail was still stuck in
the top roller that ejects the paper from the printer.  Apparently, the hair
on the tip of his tail had gotten inside the roller and was sucked in as the
paper was being fed out.  While my wife was getting a towel to prevent further
injury, the kitten jumped off the side of the printer.  The top of the desk is
slightly waxed and the printer nearly slid off.  It would have landed on top
of him.  Can you imagine how hard it is to figure out how to open a printer
under these conditions?  Before she got the towel around him, the kitten took
a few more deep bites out of my wife's leg through her bluejeans!  After what
must have seemed like an eternity, my wife got the printer open and freed the
kitten.

A $27 trip to the vet informed us that we had a real lucky kitten.  If he had
been a little older and heavier, the tail would have separated and required
amputation.  If he still had claws, my wife would have had to have been
stitched back together.  What if it had been a child's long hair?

So Apple, how about a Kitty Guard?  Unfortunately, Cats don't read the generic
warnings that came with the printer.  I really like the quality and value of
the printer.  How much extra would I pay for more safety?  At least $27.  I
knew I was cutting corners when I bought the printer since it did not include
PostScript, but I really didn't expect this.

Several other companies also use the same type of printer case.  They all have
a max speed of 4 pages/minute and a cut-out in the top for the paper to
reverse stack or innocent kitties to take a nap.  Some have different paper
feed mechanisms, so the eject roller may also vary.

In case you were wondering, the kitten has been avoiding the printer the 
last few days, but was seen standing on it once while it was off.

Doug Kavner, Hughes Aircraft Company, P.O. Box 3310, Fullerton, CA 92634
0028017@msgate.emis.hac.com  (714) 732-3682