Submitted for your approval...

           THE TOP 10 REASONS FOR CALLING TECHNICAL SUPPORT HOTLINES

10. Manual further away than telephone; prefer to let *fingers* do the walking.

9.  Manual too hard to read; not interesting like "National Enquirer".

8.  Don't have manual for "borrowed" copy of program.

7.  Unable to start program.

6.  Unable to exit program.

5.  Unable to quit using program.

4.  Error beep too loud; audible by coworkers.

3.  Heard moaning sound from disk drive after installing program.

2.  Lonely; "just wanted to chat."

1.  Apology demanded for insulting error message.


(From: I HATE DOS, by Bryan Pfaffenberger, Que Books 1993)