ALT.TV.MUPPETS FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS VERSION 3.2 Assembled and edited in February, 1994, by Bob Pedersen from material supplied by many others. Mail your comments to me (Bob Pedersen) at robert-c-pedersen@uiowa.edu; however, those submitting questions unaccompanied by attempts at answers are in danger of becoming an assistant to Dr. Bunson Honeydew. We wouldn't want _that_, would we? ;^) Note: I do not plan on issuing updates solely to reflect additions to the cast lists unless I've forgotten someone on the order of, say, Grover. Have fun! WHAT'S NEW IN VERSION 3.2? There have been several additions to the cast list in this edition. Two sections have been removed. The performers list have been removed because a much better list will soon be available at the archive site. The section on when/where the Muppet Show can be seen has been dropped for a number of reasons, chiefly the difficulty in keeping it up. TABLE OF CONTENTS Introduction Acknowledgments Subjects We are Tired of Hearing About Q1. Is Ernie (or any other muppet) dying? (Abstract: NO.) Q2. What are some favorite episodes of the Muppet News Flash? Q3. What is the name of that character on Sesame Street or the Muppet Show? Q4. Who are the human actors on Sesame Street? Q5. What were some of the Monsterpiece Theater episodes? INTRODUCTION Welcome to alt.tv.muppets, the place where you can take a break from your life of insane solemnity and engage in some serious zaniness! This frequently asked questions file exists to serve two purposes: one, to answer some questions often posed by persons new to the group, and two, to give its readership a few minutes of fun. This FAQ is archived at cathouse.org. in the directory /pub/cathouse/television/muppets. Also at that site are William Sherman's wonderful Muppetography (occasionally posted to alt.tv.muppets) and a file of song lyrics. Soon, there will also be Chris Vaughn's comprehensive list of muppet performers. Although it is already recommended in the Muppetography, I want to strongly urge you to check your local library for the following book: Finch, Christopher. Of Muppets and Men: The Making of the Muppet Show. c.1981 by Henson Associates, Inc. Alfred A Knopf. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS The following persons, listed in no particular order, are made honorary members of the Electric Mayhem for their important contributions to this FAQ. May I be sat on by Sweetums if I left anyone out. Jerry Alexandros Devjani Mishra Simon Rooney Chris Beck Rebecca Alice Metz Steven Newman Charles Evans Bryan Van Blaricom Brian J. Stokes Nicolle (Born to Recal) Sean P. Donahue Christopher Robin Philip N. Whitman Andrew Wolf Jean-o Max Ziff P. J. Geraghty Angela I. Davina Tung Kriss A. Hougland Steven Newman Laura Wasko Lore A. Guilmartin Steve Kaliszewski Erika Lindsay Reuven Wiliam Goren Tim Wright Benjamin R. Pierce Russell Schulz Scott McGuire Todd Liebenow B.J. Hughes Alex Rudd Douglass Glen Whitman Marny Helfrich Pratap Patnaikuni Stephanie M. Clarkson-Aines Laurie Cubbison Fred Weissman Felix Lee Robert Schonberg Todd LeBrasseur Thanks are also due to William Sherman for arranging for the FTP site, and to Rebecca Walpole to posting this document on a regular basis. SUBJECTS WE ARE TIRED OF HEARING ABOUT The chief of these is the question as to whether Bert and Ernie are homosexuals. This is a question which has raised very strong feeling on both sides. Having recently spoken with the folks at Children's Television Workshop, I can pass along their firm view that Ernie and Bert are _not_ in fact gay. CTW's statements on other occasions indicate that the Bert and Ernie are puppets, not people ("they don't even have legs!" one person was told), and do not have sexual aspects at all. Whether or not you agree with this, please DO NOT post on this issue: it has been run into the ground repeatedly. Rest assured that your views, whatever they may be, have been stated by others. FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS Q1. IS ERNIE (or any other muppet) DYING? [Abstract: No.] Several times a year, this group receives a panic-stricken posting from a new reader who has heard the rumor that the beloved Sesame Street character Ernie is dying. It is even rumored that Jim Henson's will requires that Ernie no longer be used after his death. This is not the case: several members of this group have gone so far as to contact Henson Productions and Children's Television Workshop, and been ABSOLUTELY ASSURED that this is not the case. For those of you who need it from a published source, here is a quote from "Surely, no one believes the rat in the soda bottle story," written by Rachel Jones of Knight-Ridder Newspapers. (Des Moines [Iowa] Register, Dec.1, 1992, p.3T. Thanks to Lore Guilmartin for sending it along.) The story concerns 'urban legends,' stories that spread like wildfire with little or no basis in fact. ...But some rumors are just too bizarre to figure. One of the most recent urban myths is one claiming that Ernie, Bert's roommate on "Sesame Street", is dying of leukemia. "Oh no, not again," groaned Ellen Morgenstern, spokeswoman for Children's Television Workshop in New York, when asked about Ernie's health. "Ernie is not dying of AIDS; he's not dying of leukemia. Ernie is a puppet." The Ernie stories have circulated for the past year, Morgenstern says. But the furor is sort of flattering. "It's amazing that a rumor like this could send shock waves throughout the country," Morgenstern says. "It's an indication of how much Ernie is loved. So, no: ERNIE IS NOT DYING! Recently, this urban legend has been sprouting variations as to the manner of impending death or the muppet involved. The answer remains the same: Sesame Street has no plans to kill off any of the muppets. Q2. WHAT ARE SOME FAVORITE EPISODES OF THE "MUPPET NEWS FLASH?" (mostly contributed by Max Ziff) The Old Lady who Lived in a Shoe Kermit sets out to interview her, but first talks to a young lady who lives in a glove ("Does this look like a shoe to you?"), who also has a rhyme: "There was a young lady who lived in a glove, if you came to her door, she'd give you a shove! Now get out of here, frog!" Kermit then speaks to an old man who lives in a hat ("He could bark like a dog, and meow like a cat"). He eventually meets the old lady, who makes him take care of her children. Humpty Dumpty Kermit begins by interviewing one of the King's horses (played, essentially, by Buster), who feeds him a load of puns, which Kermit jots down on his notepad: "Well, he's a good egg." "Uh huh, good egg." "Not what you'd call hard-boiled." "Uh-huh, not hard-boiled." He then interviews Humpty Dumpty, who's safely on top of his wall. Eventually, Kermit gives him a hearty congratulatory slap on the back,and, of course, he falls off. Sirens go off, horses and men show up, and there's a lot of talking and confusion. We hear the voice of the horse from earlier talking with a man: "What happened?" "It was the frog that did it." "Somebody get the frog out of here!" Old MacDonald had a Farm Old MacDonald (terrific Scottish accent), has become wealthy and famous from his song, and in order to repay the animals who made him what he is, has converted the Farm into a health club. I remember two aristocratic pigs, "I'll meet you down by the pool, Muffy." They do a version of the song with a stretch, stretch here and a jump, jump there, and Kermit becomes exhausted (I believe -- can anyone help me on this?). Peter Piper Kermit goes to Piper's pickle patch and meets Papa Piper, Piper Piper, all sorts of Pipers except Peter. Eventually Kermit is covered with peppers. There's also one from the Muppet Show where he broadcasts from the planet Koozbane, with the Koozbanian Foob, the most sought after food on the planet. Kermit's asking him how they survive. The answer is "evolution", as the Foob turns more and more into a Kermit look-alike, and it ends in a fight between who's the real one. (Thanks to Rebecca Alice Metz.) Cinderella at the Ball Kermit asks Cinderella to describe her outfit, and the Prince (brilliantly played by Guy Smiley) breaks in with a yuppie accent: "I'd be glad to. I'm wearing a sky blue velvet jumpsuit with ruffles at the neck and cuffs ... the crown that dad gave me, with jewels and sparkly things ..." Meanwhile Cinderella realizes it's almost midnight and leaves; after he's through describing his ensemble, the Prince finds her slipper ("Heigh ho, what's this? A glass slipper!"). He ends up dropping and breaking the slipper ("Easy come, easy go"), forgeting about "Cindy", and soliciting dances from other ballgoers "The prince is free to dance! Who wants to dance with the prince? Get your tickets! ... Hey, Frog, you wanna dance? No, I suppose not." (Thanks to Steve Kaliszewski) George Washington's Father's Cherry Orchard Kermit interviews George Washington's father about the famous cherry tree incident; meanwhile little George keeps chopping down trees, and telling the truth after each one: "I cannot tell a lie, I chopped down that cherry tree with my little hatchet". Kermit keeps count of the trees ("Let's see, there were 1776 trees, now there are 1775 trees; 1776 take away 1 is 1775") and George's father regrets giving him the hatchet ("I wish we'd gotten him that wagon instead"). He continues discussing his son's peculiarities with Kermit ("Chop, chop, chop; truth, truth, truth. Chop, chop, chop; truth, truth, truth."), finally explaining that there's one thing the boy has to learn: "TO STOP CHOPPING DOWN MY CHERRY TREES! C'mere, George! Gimme that hatchet!" The 1774th tree falls on Kermit, who returns us to our regularly scheduled program with cherries and sticks on his head. (Thanks to Steve Kaliaszewski) Q3. WHAT WAS THE NAME OF THAT CHARACTER ON SESAME STREET OR THE MUPPET SHOW? The Sesame Street lists included here were compiled by Charles Evans out of the responses to a list posted by Bob Pedersen. Many people offered suggestions: most of these contributors are listed in the introduction to this FAQ. These lists are not complete, nor do I intend them to be. Mr. Evans IS attempting a complete list -- see the newsgroup. [I, personally, would rather take over for Sisyphus, although I suspect Gonzo would find that role rather amusing. 8^)] This list is the first posted version of Mr. Evans' list, with some minor modifications. Please note: Version 3.0 saw a few removals from this list, mostly unnamed charaters from Sesame Street, as well as a few additions. SESAME STREET CHARACTERS --------------------------- HUMANS --------- Bob : Music teacher Buffy : Past; played by Buffy St. Marie David : Deceased Fanny : Old SS kid, Kermit interview Gabriella : Marie and Luis's daughter Gina : Teenager Gordon : Married to Susan: more than one actor Hiroshi : Artist John-John : Frequently used child Koty : Child of Buffy and Sheldon Linda : Deaf; Librarian; owns Barkley Luis : Married to Maria Maria : Married to Luis Miles : Adopted son of Susan and Gordon Mr. Mcintosh : Past; owned fruit stand on wheels Mr.Hanford : Currently own's Hooper's store Mr.Hooper : Deceased; ran grocery store Nina the Nice : Oscar's alter ego in a n'hood of grouches Olivia : Gordon's sister Sabian : Teenager Shola : Old SS kid, Kermit interview Sheldon : Married to Buffy Susan : Married to Gordon Wanda the Word Fairy : New, in a few skits MUPPETS ---------- Alice Snuffleupagus : Mr. Snuffleupagus's sister Amazing Mumford : Magician; Grover often volunteered Angry Guy : Sherlock Hemlock lookalike Assorted Cows : Often used a backup singers Baby Martian Barkley : Large dog: owned by Linda Bart : Bert's brother Bert Betty Lou Biff : Construction worker: partner of Sully Big Bird Boss : Lefty's boss with the Golden "An" Brad : Bert's nephew Bruce Stringbean and the : "Born to Add" S Street Band Bruno : Carries Oscar's can Buster : Forgetful Jones' horse Captain Vegetable : Guy Smiley lookalike Charlie : as in "Hey, Charlie, a number 4!" Chrissie and the Alphabets : several big hits! Cinderella : Clementine : Forgetful Jones' girlfriend Cookie Monster Don Music Dr. Noble Price : Scientist Elmo Ernie Farley : Little boy Ferlengheti : Beat Poet Flo Bear Forgetful Jones : Cowboy; lives up to name Frank and Stein : The two-headed monster Gina : Muppet; "Gina play" Gladys : Cow Grover Grover's Mommy Grungetta : Oscar's girlfriend Guy Smiley : Real name: Bernie Liederkrantz (we think!) Guy from Alphabet Chat : Name??? Harvey Kneeslapper : Practical joker Herbert Birdsfoot Herry Monster Hoots the Owl : Plays saxophone How Now Brown Cow and The Moo Wave : Cow singing group Humpty Dumpty : News Flash! star Irvine : Oscar the Grouch's niece Jackman Wolf : Guy with yellow hair and glasses, sung Kermit the Frog Large Blue Wolf : In most scenes with the wolf Lefty : Shady guy: sells things to Ernie Little Bird Little Jerry and the Monotones : "Telephone Rock" Little Red Riding Hood : Red is liberated or non-traditional Martians : The folks at CTW call them the "Yip-yips" Merryl Sheep Miss Muffett : News Flash! star Mr. Snuffleupagus Mrs. Snuffleupagus : Mr. S's mother Old MacDonald : Had a Farm Oscar the Grouch Oscar's little niece Oscar's mommy H. Ross Parrot Pat Playjacks : America's _Second_ Favorite Game Show Host Peter Piper : Pied Piper : Really groovy, looked like Jim Henson Placido Flamingo : Opera singer Polly Darton : Country Singer Prarie Dawn Prince Charming : Purple Guy : In the skit with the guy with long nose Roosevelt Franklin Rumpelstiltskin Sam the Robot Shaggy Singer and 2 backups who sing "Near, Far" and "Ball Tall Fall Wall" Sheldon the Turtle Sherlock Hemlock : The World's Greatest Detective Simon the Soundman : Made noises with his mouth Singing pigs Sinister Sam : "I wanna know who bought the last box of crayons and Y" Sleeping Beauty : Slimey : Oscar's pet worm Small Green Wolf : Accused of a crime Solid Citizen : Lady on stage with Mumford Spider of Miss Muffett : News Flash! star Sully : Construction worker; Biff's partner Telly Monster The Amazing Mumford The Beetles : They sing "Letter B" The Count von Count The Dingers The Honkers The Martians The Three Little Pigs : Various skits Theodore : In the Count's classroom Twiddle Bugs : At least four; live in Ernie's flowerbox Vanna White lookalike : Name??? Very Large Grayish-Blue Wolf : Blew Kermit off the screen and screen white Vincent Twice, Vincent Twice : Armchair announcer Witches in a cave that COOPERATED to make some chicken soup ZZ Top Lookalikes : Cool =) The guy at Grover's restaurants NON-ANIMALS/PERSONS MUPPETS ------------------------------ Basketball : Gave Kermit a hard time Cloud : "Here is Your Life" star for Oak Tree Dentist : "Here is Your Life" star for Tooth Farmer Brown : Who grew the wheat for someone Fred Chair : "Here is Your Life" star for Oak Tree Glass of Milk : House : 4710 Pleasant Street Loaf of Bread : "Here is Your Life" honoree Nose : On Name That Part Oak Tree : "Here is Your Life" honoree Pasty the ToothPaste : "Here is Your Life" star for Tooth Peanut Butter & Jelly Sandwiches : "HIYL" honoree From Tuscaloosa, AL Spider of Miss Muffett : News Flash! star Tooth : "Here is Your Life" honoree Toothbrush : "Here is Your Life" star for Tooth Wilma Table : "HIYL" star for Oak Tree THE MUPPET SHOW CHARACTERS -------------------------- Kermit Miss Piggy Statler Waldorf Fozzie Bear Crazy Harry (likes explosions) Lew Zealand (throws fish) Scooter J.P. Grosse (Scooter's uncle who owns the theatre) Bobby Benson and his Baby Band Tom, Dick, and Harry, the 3-headed creature Annie Sue (Miss Piggy's rival) Timmy Monster Thog George the Janitor Rowlf The Great Gonzo Sam the American Eagle Swedish Chef Link Hogthrob Camella the Chicken Dr. Julius Strangepork The Muppet News Reporter Sweetums Nigel the conductor (wrote theme music) Showered Rosell (sports anouncer) Muppy Foo-foo Robin Andre the Artist Hilda (from Wardrobe) Dr. Bunson Honeydew Beaker Annie Sue The Gargling Gargoyl Marvin Suggs and his Amazing Muppephone (Also, M.S. and his All-Food Glee Club) Beauregard Clifford (Jim Henson's last creation -- only two known appearences) Mahna mahna Wayne and Wanda Rizzo and various other rats Lewis Kezagger -- sportscaster Uncle Deadly Granny the Gouger Flying Zucchini Brothers Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem Dr. Teeth -- keyboards Sgt. Floyd Pepper -- guitar Zoot -- saxophone Janis -- guitar, vocals Animal -- drums Lips -- trumpet (later) Veterinarian's Hospital Dr. Bob (Rowlf) Nurse Piggy Nurse Janice Pigs in Space The Swinetrek Captain Link Hogthrob Dr. Julius Strangepork First Mate Piggy Q4. WHO PLAYED THE HUMANS ON SESAME STREET? Contributed by Reuven William Goren Character Actor David Northern Calloway Luis Emilio Delgado Mr. Hooper Will Lee Susan Loretta Long Maria Sonja Manzano Bob Bob McGrath Gordon Hal Miller Q5. WHAT WERE THE NAMES OF SOME MONSTERPIECE THEATER EPISODES? (List contributed by Tim Wright) The King and I The Postman Always Rings Twice [a classic] The Monsters of Venice The Taming of the Shoe The Old Man and the C Upstairs, Downstairs, episode ___ [I forget which number] Guys and Dolls The 400 Blows ["with subtitles"] Ali Baba and the 40 Thieves 12 Angry Men 1 Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest The Sun Also Rises Twin beaks Cyranose de Bergerac Much Ado About Nothing Me Claudius The 39 Stairs Gone With the Wind Hamlet Chariots of Fur I hope everyone has been entertained. Bob Pedersen -- Bob Pedersen University of Iowa Library Science Student Snail: P.O. Box 847, Iowa City, IA 52244 "I have a room for life at the Home for the Chronically Groovy!" -- Sgt. Floyd Pepper