880923 "with an eye on trashy type stuff." So, here it is. another pfine pap production. Saturday afternoon, an attack on Pfizer and General Dynamics will begin. We're not gonna key in on those two, you can go to the function if you wanna know more about THEIR enviro- problems. (Fort Griswold Park, Sat., Sept 24, 10am) We're gonna try tackling some of the less obvious companies in our locale here on our pages. First, a very short word on Pfizer. The only major company left in South- eastern Connecticut that hasn't pulled out of South Africa. Next a quick word on GD. ATI recently did a special survey of the Electric Joke shityard grounds for ARDIS (John Stockwell's group) and Del-Aware (Abbie Hoffman's band of weary travelers) to see if EB could do any sneaky shit under the FEMA project. We concluded that it would be too hard to convert any buildings from their current purpose over to concentration camps for the blacks and dissidents as per Louis Guiffrida's "California Paper". 2 days after the document hit the post office, General Dynamics announced the go-ahead for a large toxic waste incinerator. Now what could a conservative state do with a row of large stoves??? At any rate, we all know that EB and Pfizer are naughty. Let's list a few other local bad boys. 1) Mystic Color Lab silver 2) EB toxic waste 3) pfizer t. w. 4) Dow latex sux!!! 5) Hess Waste oil 6) Soneco can you say cyanide.?. 7) Millstone lubricants, ind. waste. 8) Naval base old diesel 9) Ming Garden grease traps 0) Evans Shell waste oil in sewers. .. ... ... where's doug??? .. ... ... Mystic Color Lab got nailed last month for dumping excess quantities of silver into the river. They were supposed to undergo weekly monitoring; but lo and behold!!! They've suddenly cut back enormously. Outa nowhere! Too good to be true. Is this real? The silver that's being dumped is what's left after 3 attempts to electronically pan out each silver molecule. What's left cant easily be gotten. The silver (alone or joined) is VERY dangerous to plant life in and out of the rivers. To meet standards, MCL has attached a 3rd chemical making it LOOK like they've cleaned up their act. Bullshit. MCL is still damaging us. As we said, EB is doing mega toxic waste. EB is also responsible for a large portion of our nation's acid rain problems. So is Pfizer. Some suggest AIDS got its genesis at an African branch of Pfizer Corp. A word on DOW: ever get really sick from lighting a styrofoam cup on fire? One cup? Dow, burns about 1000 cups worth of styrofoam a day. Hess? Waste oil is no fun. This stuff shows up in the Thames river now and then. Fish dont like waste oil. You know things are bad when you open up a can of tuna (in its own oils) and you see a tiny little barge floating around trying to make a delivery and it asks you where the dock is between Pfizer and EB. Soneco burns all their boxes instead of trucking them out to New Jersey. Too expensive. These boxes are chemically treated so they're strong enough to hold harsh stuff. Millstone is responsible for a LOT of industrial waste. It's not just for radiation any more. hehehe. You'll see a lot of lubricants and shaved up metals floating around in Waterford's waters. The Naval base stored up diesel fuel for the past 40 years. They simply ran out of room on the lower base. So, now they burn up about 3 drums a day. Right into the open air!!! 35-year-old diesel fuel has a distinctive odor. Much like raw bat-shit. Ming Garden. Why did MG make our hit-list? Don't panic. It's not for their way of handling the excess kitten population; although rumors fly. Ming Garden pours their grease right down into the ground at the end of each night. Ever wonder where crabgrass comes from? Evans Shell. Again; another purely arbitrary assignment. This guy's gonna have to take the heat for ALL the service stations that clean engines right over a sewer grate. Also going into these sewer grates are any leftover, useless, (and very potent) oils and assorted solvents. There you have it. Put that in your pipe and smoke it. Apple core; say no more. &.a nonpaid advertisement. (hey. we're havin trouble collectin our debts just like the rest of em!!!) The all new FNORD TORMENT. 100% stainless steel tires that whir at 30 MPH; and scream really high at 60. FNORD TORMENT has 20 foot tunable hydraulic shocks for slipping over VW's in heavy traffic. The TORMENT has a LARGE hood scoop that eats mosquitos, gnats, and medium sized birds and water foul; converting them to fuel. A 32 character LED panel in the window is for typing in obscenities at tailgators, and would-be tailgators. Also serves as a written warning in advance of Super-illuso-brakes. Toggle brake lights are there for when you dont want to actually use your brakes; but you want to get someone off your ass while still maintaining an accelleration. For those not shaken up by FNORD TORMENT's fake brakelights; uzi-lookin things pup up out the tailfins. And for unbelievers still: full-sized amunition. For people who wont turn off their highbeams, a megawatt Amtrak Halogen light on the front. Part # w.att.1k; commonly referred to as the "DEATH RAY". New TORMENT D-Day style launch pad allows marbles and glass tacks to roll out back from the underside of the FNORD TORMENT. 12" woofers and 5" piezos with a drop-in overhead microphone, are stock with this FNORD for announcing things like, "get the fuck outa the way", or "sunday driver". Special option can be ordered for this FNORD model: a wireless helmet with a built-in condenser mic and infra-red goggles for night driving when you just dont feel like turning on your lights. Drunk drivers got you down? Someone weaving in and out, taking away your concentration? Maybe endangering your life... Turn on the special glowlights that whisper a shimmering flow from one side of the FNORD to the other making his world spin sideways. The drunk will lose all judgement and go wail an embankment or guard-rail all...by...himself. The FNORD TORMENT is an electronically fuel injected turbo-charged all-terrain multi-purpose vehicle based on diesel versions from the military. As hightech as this vehicle is; The FNORD TORMENT'S alarm system is still a female pit bull terrier.