LIVE! FROM A KINKO'S NEAR YOU; IT'S SATURDAY: And Here Is your ATI. "A dozen dollars is almost a gross of pesos." -Nancy Reagan, when asked if she might have it too. 1976 We begin with a poem: A left sandal on the highway Forgotten, wild, lonely. Like a sundial growing under vines. Lost like a left handed skateboard, Mandala; showing the way. You take the high road Gnashing a mandible clicking the lower head. Underwater edible shock wear. Shedding clothing buying new. I left an Edison on; spinning 78. Right there over the low road. Old sandal Left on the highway. AA TTTTTTTT IIIIIIII A A TTTTTTTT IIIIIIII AA AA TT II AAAA 1 TT 4 II 4 AA AA TT II AA AA TT II AA AA TT IIIIIIII AA AA TT IIIIIIII C I N T M C I E ! V S I S T ....... .Issue. .144!!. ....... PAO NOODLES - A PRIME ANARCHIST OPINION. (PUBLISHER'S COLUMN) Greetings. And welcome to ATI144. The "gross" issue. It's 1am, Sunday, Sept 13, 1998 in the year of our Which Hunt. Can I state my opinion? Clinton's going down. Fine. Too bad, He always gave great hugs. Always so generous with his wonderful paraquat-free kind, smooth skunk-weed; and his acid never had any strichnine in it. I don't give a rat's bad tripp about Monika, Paulette, or Tammie, Meg, Beth, Jamie, Trish, Marcia, Megan or Linda. I've now received more than 20 "secret" emails here at ATI headquarters, with reason after credible reason why Clinton should be impeached -- and some or NONE (closer to 0) have anything to do with encounters of the sexual kind. He needs to go, but, I'm going to say something really strong here: Let me be perfectly unequivering (sic) - Along with Clinton, needs to go down: 1) more than 300 congress-people 2) over 80 senators 3) thousands of administrators 4) just about every justice besides Rehnquist. (surprisingly the only one who hasn't molested an underage girl, a mime, a lesbian woman or the first ammendment in the last two months. 5) Anyone else I forgot to mention. Why? You know why. I refuse to waste your time and mine listing all the transgressions - but I will state something personal which primarily picks my potatoes. William Jefferson Clinton has one ugly nose. It's heinous. I mean the honker from hell. A bulldog's better looking. Nixon's was humourous compared to that of the Hillary House-Husband. I mean it's half-way gin-blossomed already, for cryin' out loud. And if one more high schooler wakes up from her date-rape drug and smashes the heel of her hand into it; it's going to be cauliflower. OK now that I've taken us on this yummy rhetorical jaunt, can I ask you one question? When are we going to discuss the power-differential that got Clinton into this mess in the first place??? - - - - - #'s 4 u: - - - - - http://www.mexicosolidarity.org http://members.aol.com/papapossum/BucketLine.html http://www.phillynews.com/inquirer/98/Sep/05/opinion/LONG05.htm http://www.csoundcorp.com/sonrise/eveofdes.htm http://www.lyrics.ch (thanks sisyphus) http://web2.kw.igs.net/~wgarvin/lyrics/main-nf.html http://www.deltablues.com - - - - - - - - - - - - - Letters (A,B,C... for instance) From Our Readers: - - - - - - - - - - - - - Howdy folks. You can download the full text version of Kenneth Starr's testimony to Congress (text version) from Black Helicopters on the Horizon. http://members.xoom.com/bridget973 The site will be updated with other information shortly. Regards, bridget973@aol.com I care less about the government and if you guys want to go blow up the pentagon I don't give a shit. In my opinion it's not the government you should be concerned about it's those damn christians. They're also a large percent of the voters, so the "christian coalition" or whatever you call it, has a big rope tied around our nations dick. So don't bother with the government go burn down some fucking churches! ! ! ! ! - TouRinquet (517) 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 6 Editors: I don't know what an "Editor and Chief" would be, though I strongly support the hiring of Native Americans. Perhaps your frame of reference is the old "Superman" TV show, where Jimmy Olson was always calling Perry White "chief," but it was short for "editor-in-chief." In the heirarchy of a newsroom, the editor-in-chief is the editor with authority over the other editor(s). I'm also curious about such seeming oxymorons as "prime anarchist," "Consolidated Communications," and an anarchist paper being published by a company that's incorporated. Just wondering. smatters@hotmail.com monique, neat stuff. got it from john's list. http://www.meer.net/~johnl/e-zine-list just sign me "an ati reader." an ati reader Greetings from Swiss exile! Larry King Live was supposed to be on here in Switzerland at 18:00 tonight, but he wasn't. He was supposed to be interviewing Senator John Ashcroft, who has called upon Clinton to resign. This is happening often. Whenever Larry King's on and some distinguished party calls for Clinton's resignation, suddenly Larry King is taken off the air and there's a bullet about floods in Indonesia or something. No wonder CNN is called "Clinton News Network". Michael (011) To The Editors Of ATI: Terrific pages. Great Design. Great contribution to the World Wide Web. I am much impressed. I am awarding your site the Poet's Award. Stop by my homepage to download the award bearing the words "Poet's Award." http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/7514 Ernest Slyman Dear Prime Anarchist: Sup Marcos wrote your column last week. Have you met him in person? Is he as fly as they say? Renee (210) (dateline - halfmoon, September. 1998) PRIME ANARCHIST GOES TO THE '98 MTV b l e e p AWARDS. Reprinted from ATI's Midweek Crisis. OK, This one I had to watch on the BLEEP tube. I caught the last half "live" and only THEN watched the rest on VH-1, er, uh, I mean - VHS. Got home late because of a gig I played at. Some little dive bar out there in the midwest somewhere west of Chicago; but awfully east of Jennnifer Loves Wycleff's crib. But hey, it truly WAS live; and 10% wasn't bleeped, blacked or otherwise network censored. AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO NOTICED HOW CONTRIVED... (and was Madonna's owner pissed out of his blockin' head??) ...ALL THE SPONTANIONIONIOSMS WERE??? Am I the only one who cares? This MIDWEEK CRISIS (trademarc) brought to you by: 1) 1 racist chi-wa-wa 2) two places to pay some "fairies with boots" twice what Cheryl Crow-Magma deserves 3) three or four cars which even the welders and the tranny installation team members can't afford without hefty employee discounts 4) and a red, white and abusive blue designer who isn't known for anything besides underwear, t-shirts and some smell in a bottle that makes everyone sneeze half their lungs out before they begin feeling horney for no known reason. http://www.worstbuy.com http://www.chingordo.com http://vvv.tommy.com http://users.farfignewton.net http://www.generalelectric.com http://www.angelfire.com/wi/kokopeli/notbot.html Dear ATI; Yeah, but I just happened to notice that none of this (mid)week's links went anywhere except General Electric's and yours. Is this a plot? Are you demonstrating the notion that we have but two options in this life: mind-numbing conformism or rampant activism? What's it all about (anyway) Alfie? Sisyphus (203) still-rolling-that-boulder ------------------------- response 2 bumper sticker ------------------------- /& ON THE 8TH DAY/ \Yeah, Musta\ /GOD CREATED/ \Been On A\ /MARINES/ \Monday\ (PAWN) - 10-year-old THE ONION finally got Crown Publishing to put out their book "The Onion Presents: Our Dumb Century: 100 Years of Headlines from America's Finest News Source." It's expected next April. -=-=-=- A prime economic note -=-=-=- Face it - the DOW is going to go DOWn to 2600 where it belonged in the first place. Everything between that and 10,000 was manipulation and falsehood anyhow. Faker than a silicone implant. Fear not, however. It won't go much lower than that. There's still always Exxoff and Drive Manhattan to chase this market. Besides, just about every morning since 1990 I've had to wake up to the following NY Times headline: X... CORPORATION ANNOUNCES LAYOFF OF X... THOUSAND EMPLOYEES BUT THE ECONOMY'S LOOKING UP. Oh well, it's been inedible, I mean indolent, er, uh, ineffable, or inevitable. (PAWN)-HAVANA - Caztro Cries Foul Balling of Presidential Intern. "The US and their thugs have been doing horrid things with cigars for a very long time, but this is too much," said Caztro, Cuba's leading tobacco expert. He said between the CIA and various presidents - cigars have been put into just about every oriface known to man. He further stated that terrible things have been put into cigars as well. Loads, bombs, poisons, listening devices, Caztro said have all been used to abuse perfectly fine cigars. "I even had a $500 Cuban seed," said Caztro, "get ruined when Reagan squeezed a Luis Tiante spitball all over it." He said the mucus from the Boston Red Sox pitcher made the otherwise perfect cigar taste foul; and that it almost ruined his entire humidour. Asked about the new Klinton cigar with the Lewchinski love-juice, Caztro said, "cheapest cigar I've ever heard of. Why did el presidente waste such good love-juice on such a yucky blend of tobacco? He said if it tastes as great as Klinton claims, he would like to order a hundred-forty-four of them. Caztro's final comment was wondering aloud if Lewchinski might have any friends nearby. THIS YEAR'S PRAISON GROWERS HAVE NO REASON TO WHINE. ------ (PAWN) ------ A mild winter, early spring and temperate summer have Wisconsin praison makers in a pickle. The praison, a cross between a grape and a cucumber, is expected to break busloads of records this year, despite rude comments as to its resemblence. "Do we continue calling it a praison," asks Wolfe Wollersheim of the Praire Du Sac Vineyard corporation, "or do we poke fun of the consumers themselves, and go ahead renaming it the prickle?" Most of the state's 13 growers completed their harvest roughly three weeks ahead of schedule, said a Vegatable Times of Madison newspaper editorial. Hillary Vandenbush of Boltham Praison workers union held one between her thumb and forefinger saying it looked like a shrivelly likeness of Bill Clinton on Steroids." Asked how she would know, Vandenbush held it up again and licking it smiling winkingly, said, "tastes like a cigar." Vineyard owner Peter Boltham-Beane plans to bottle 1,500 more cases of praison juice in an attempt to compete with Heinz, corp; condiments division. "We're finally on a level playing field," he remarked about his readiness to call it Prickle-58. "You eat us, and Heinz owes you one. Hey," he said. "be glad we didn't spice it up and call it Probasco. & as per usual: we end w/ a poem. THE 22 DAYS ROAD by marc arnold. It was a Thursday And I was driving, N I was eating a BLT sandwich No B. There was a main road It wasn't open. N you can't get there - From Here. Soon it will open; Then you can shop there. N you can go there; Mainstreet Revival. Consume. 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