\abulafia\sthought.doc \pippin\rave\reality.doc \abulafia\relig.rav \qix\vslashr.txt \abulafia\mulber.doc \pippin\rave\depress.txt \pippin\rave\quest.doc \pippin\rave\purple.doc \pippin\mint\utopia.doc \abulafia\sthought.doc Vol. 1., April 25 1992, Printed in CyberSpace. The Scriptures of the Un-Dead a journey into the church of VIRTUALITY/REALITY ABULAFIA J. PURPLEFLOWER -THE PROFIT OF CYNICISM In the beginning there was the ugylidig ... and then from the MUD, life was born On a Wednesday, mid March '92, four silly people decided to see what would happen if they took their minds at warp speed without a seatbelt. An innocent enough exercise, each individual having equally valid, if not bizarre reasons for their trek into obscurity, each individual returning from the abyss with the consolidated insight and enthusiasm of the elder gods, and with a piece of each other. And so the "oh so mutually enlightened ones- Qix, Pippin, Flesh and Abulafia" began to delve into the abstractions of reality and their own virtualities and realising the future of man lay in panspace, and cyberspace set out upon a quest to guide the inhabitants of the planet towards themselves and towards the future before we all implode. Here is their story ...... "In the beginning there was the ugyldig ...and then from the MUD, life was born, and the church of Virtuality/Reality came into being" virtuality is the way that an individual perceives reality. Each virtuality is unique, an extension of the psyche. reality is everyone's collective virtualities. Without the individual virtualities reality gets warped. "Mr_Society" has for centuries dictated the basis of reality and those whose virtualities did not conform with the 'standard government issue reality' were outcast, thrust onto the fringe of humanity. With recent socio-political changes occuring around the globe (The fall of communism, the greening of the earth and previously concrete-grey politics) "Mr_Society" is having to seriously rethink its bastardous attitudes of the past . We are entering a new era. A time of global awareness, integral awareness, individual awareness. We are being forced to re-evaluate everything we have blindly believed, question everything that we have been taught, look for our essence which just wandered away during the commercials. We know we're not real.... Do you? When you walk along the street, whose mind are you in? When you're riding the "Dream Express" whose dream are you in? When you rub the tally-ho's whose thoughts are you in? Don't touch that dial ! THE BIRTH OF AN IDEA: "Everything rose from the ugyldig, to whence it shall one day return." The ugylig is the nothingness from which life itself is constructed. It is the void where nothing exists but everything has the potential to exist. It is potential energy. The beginnings of an idea rise from the ugyldig. When an idea is in it's most fundamental state we reach into the ugyldig with our minds, and provide the sperm, releasing enough kinetic energy to transform the idea egg into embryonic form. The embryonic idea is nurtured and fed by the mind until it develops into an ideaette and then finally gathers enough energy to cast itself from the ugylig at high speed into the right frontal cortex of the brain yelling "i am idea, hear me gargle..." When we are struck with such occurances, the usual response is "oh i've been hit by inspiration". But that is not true. You have been hit by a psychotic ideaette travelling at high speed and yelling "i am idea. hear me gargle..." Some people are of course more receptive to these processed than others. These people usually have their own virtualities and need not concern themselves with with passages of inhibition or cleaning their back teeth. When an idea is born, some people will look at it and say "oh what an ugly little idea - i want nothing to do with it " upon which they will promptly lock it away in the deep caverns of their minds never to see the light of day. Everyone has lots of ideas, the ones they consider of value and importance to themselves, they keep and nurture, the others they neglect. It does not necessarily follow that an idea holding no value to one particular person, will not hold any value for another individual. It was with this idea in mind that the "Garbage bin of Thought (c) " was designed. The "Garbage bin of Thought (c) " is a huge green plastic bin placed strategically just outside of the door of the birthing room in the ugyldig. People are free to cast unwanted ideas into the bin, or to rummage through and claim an idea as their own. There is always the possibility that two or more minds will be rummaging through the bin at once and stumble across exactly the same idea simultaneously and decide that they really really really want that idea. Consequently unless an arrangement can be made, a fight ensues and the idea, becoming basically upset by the fights over it's rights, launches itself out into cyberspace, where it floats aimlessly around until it is picked up by a receptor of stray thoughts who just happens to be passing by. A receptor of stray thoughts is a person whose mind is so open that all of the traditionally important stuff falls out. So they tend to be a bit vague, but most receptive to stray thoughts and ideas. "Ideas are born, but they never die ....they just bounce around quite happily in cyberspace until they become realities." THE REALITY FILTER: There are many more absolutely huge things out there in the universe than any of us can perceptively acknowledge. A range of colours we cannot dream of, psychic energies and life forms we have no access to. This is through no fault of our own. It is the great design of the guru_like_ones. Our minds have been designed to let only a specific amount of information in; otherwise, if we actually knew what was going on, we would probably be so freaked out by it all that we would all sprout wings and colonise venus. So the guru_like_ones fitted us with reality filters, which allow only certain amounts of censory information to penetrate the mind. Like all things, reality filters can malfunction. Some are even manufactured to a substandard. This occurs with rather interesting results. In the case of a Reality Filter malfunctioning, a person could be quite happy going through the motions of living their life, when all of a sudden "PING!", the rubber band holding the Reality Filter together snaps, and s/he begins to see things never before encountered in the realms of normality. S/he decides "oh wow this is great i must share what i am seeing with all of the other poor deprived souls on this planet", but when S/he tries to do this, s/he is suddenly accosted by muscly black men and fitted for a wardrobe of white sleeveless jackets and rooms with padded walls./., Others are just so completely freaked out by their recent enlightenment that they go completely loony and resign themselves to spend the rest of their lives staring understandingly at a brick wall, deciphering the secret codes of the algae formations which have attached themselves to it. Then there is the case of those who are born with substandard reality filters. Now for some strange reason these people tend to be fucked up right from the very beginning. They are sensitive to things that other people have no concept of. They know what is really happening out there in cyberspace, and because they have had the visions from an early age, they are accepting and nurturing of them. So instead of going insane, they become psychic and science fiction writers. They are truly god_like. Many of us aspire to the god_like state, but this is exceedingly difficult because in order to do this, we must be able to dilate our Reality Filters. Most people are unaware that they even possess a Reality Filter, let alone know how to manipulate one. So we are faced with a slight problem. At the present stage, the only known way to dilate the Reality Filter is with the assistance of hallucinogens, or through sleep deprivation. \pippin\rave\reality.doc April 19, 1992. Swann Rd., St. Lucia Reality is a flower. A flower is the sexual organ of a plant. It comprises petals, stamen, gametes, pollen. A flower is the symbol of the peace movement. Flower power. No resistance, but passive. A flower is painted by artists everywhen, in rich glorious colours or static hues, moving lines and tone. So which is the flower? Which is reality? Each is different according to the observer. The observer makes the flower. All the flowers combined are reality. And Reality is a flower. @}-,'->--- My impression of reality is my Virtuality. My Virtuality is NOT reality. It may seem real to me. I may contrive to make it real to someone else, but mostly, it is not real to others. And it certainly won't is be real to you. I create my Virtuality to protect myself from reality. To protect my attitudes and beliefs from Change, which is painful, I must distort reality. This distortion of reality is my Virtuality. A lot of conflict arises when people try to impose their Virtualities as reality to others. Virtualities are ok. As long as you realize it isn't reality. We know we're not real, do you? It is ok to have 10 Virtualies or even 100! Although then it can be easy to get lost in them. Doorways between Virtualities are very useful. Reality checks. So are maps. Integrated Virtualities are closer to portraying reality than ones that aren't. Your Virtuality is your own and no one else's. It is your friend, your hideaway, your sanctuary. No one can ever invade it, and only you can let others into it. Your Virtuality is utterly malleable. You can change it at will. Except most of the time, your will probably won't like it. Then it is really hard, but it has never been easy. A Definition (but it is the only one you will get) Virtual -- not real, not physical. Virtual, in computing terms, means not physical. A computer can have physical and virtual drives. A computer user can put a disk into a physical drive, but you can't put a disk into a virtual drive. Essentially the computer has been fooled into thinking that there is a drive there. It will even treat it like a drive and store data there. The drive is still real, but it is very different too. A computer user certainly can't put a disk into a virtual drive. It is a model of a "real" drive. So how can one have Virtual Reality? A thing is either real or virtual. So the Virtuality thought found a home. Virtuality is the "model" of reality that we have all been fooled into believing is reality. There is Virtuality and reality. Virtuality\Reality. V\R to be distinguished from VR which is a contradiction in terms. We know we're not real, do you? We are the first religion that isn't going to tell you what to believe. Except to believe in yourself and to listen to the imaginary voices in your head. We will let you believe what you want to believe; we will even PROVE it too you! Once upon a time, God created the world. God was a computer project student, who believed in the Internet, and the world was a computer simulation. What happens to us at the end of the project when the hard drive is laid to rest? What is consciousness? How will we escape the final powerdown? We are the first religion that doesn't have all the answer. We want you to answer OUR questions! The Church of V\R, like all good, well-respected churches :), has sacraments. Pancakes, coke, chocolate, coffee, and LSD. ( or an equivalent psychedelic. ) The Church of V\R has rituals, but you can decide what they are. The principle is important. The principle is role play. Role playing to allow the imagination to interact with the physical. Virtuality with reality. "Challenging the nature of reality." You cannot change reality. What will you change it too? Reality already contains everything that you can think of, but you can expand your Virtuality to integrate more of reality. So that it is more REAL to you, and to others. So the rituals are the interaction whereby you influence the processes that change your Virtuality. You cannot directly influence your Virtuality. Other "things" do that. Your Virtuality is only your own. Trying to share a Virtuality with someone else only creates another one. You still have your own. The magical colour of V\R is purple. The celebration of V\R is anti-parties. These are where everyone gets around and is anti-social. A joke: How is one anti-social at an anti-party? Answer: By being social :) At an anti-party, one is free to do whatever one pleases, not necessarily what one is "supposed" to do. Mr_Society is eager to tell us what we are "supposed" to do. But Mr_Society is an illusion. You are free to do what Mr_Society says you must, but we won't be forcing that upon you. One favourite activity of the anti-party would be for everyone to sit around and be perfectly silent and perfectly still. Also called staring understandably at the brick wall and deciphering the secret patterns of the algae on it, or Zenning. The Church of V\R is my ritual for embracing reality, and "living in the real world". For living in the real world is impossible. It is my solace for a life without the Internet. The balm for withdrawal symptoms which still plague me. My way of changing my Virtuality, what I see as reality. *)--)--- Want a cure for procrastination? So do I. *sigh* So. Write it all down on paper. Paint it into a picture. Your problem. See it. Visualize it. Do something! Anything creative well do. As long as it creates or constructs. Think new thoughts. Do something that you have never done before. Shakti Gawain calls it Creative Visualization. Live on the Edge of Reality. "Cleverness and creativity are alive and well and living in a cartoon universe." Reality is a wall, Virtuality is a can of paint. ...-+=*&*=+-... The Edicts. 1. Do not play with buses and taxis. Or persons studying any of the martial arts. 2. It is a crime to spill you coffee. 3. Always talk to your thoughts. They get lonely. 4. The ground is meant to be sat upon. The floor is meant to be lain upon. 5. The day does not end until 3 am. 6. You only get mushrooms out of bullshit. 7. Always take your sense of humour with you wherever you go. 8. God was leaked. 9. What acid is to life, Powaqqatsi is to the world. 10. Paranoia is a heightened state of awareness, and security guards are Baaaaaad Karma. July 23, Tracey's Flat Actually i have just realized that V\R contains the Model of Itself. A ritual i describe is to write everything down, and that is exactly how V\R started. A map of my mind. \abulafia\relig.rav Religion "There cannot be design without designers contrivance without a contriver order without choice arrangement without anything capable of arranging subserviency and relation to a purpose without that which could intend a purpose, means suitable to an end executing that office in accomplishing that end without ever having been contemplated or the means accomodated to it." -John Hale (hypnotised by mr_god) previously of the house of insanity bullshit /., O.K The aim of most religions is to give people something to believe in, or someone, if they can't believe in themselves. It gives them an easy way out. "oh there IS a greater plan - if it happens it is 's rule or plan. If you fail it is due to 's plan. If you die etc etc etc. It allows us to take our minds on holiday, pack up the old fears and lets all go to heaven. It gives us a way to deal with our mortality. How does it do this. It lies silly, through it's rotting crumbly teeth. "hasn't he heard ??? god is dead ....." -Nietzsche It is taking the responsibility out of peoples lives and replacing it with subserviency. Taking the power from the people and givin it to the church. Indoctrinating the weak with the inane tenkemate in an attempt to strengthen the church and its ever so blatently humble bank balance. "little girl want a lolly?" no fuck off thank you, i've had enough. and now....a message from our sponsors... (music fades in and a fat bald man dressed completely in white - with the exception of his pink underwear screaming so subtly-jumps on the set) "We offer you eternal-life"..."now how much would you expect to pay?" "but wait..we'll also forgive you for being born, and if you call now we'll even throw in a free crucifiction, that's right viewers a TOTALLY FREE IN FLASHING NEON LIGHTS crucifiction....so call now" "remember ' lines are never engaged." "What else are you going to do with your sundays ? All the shops are shut, we've seen to that, there' nothing on t.v, we've seen to that...we even got to create roosters. Useless bloody animals but they make a fucking huge racket if you try and sleep in on a sunday. So yeah where was I? oh yeah ...and how much would you expect to pay ???? Well viewers ALL THAT WE ASK YOU TO GIVE US IS YOUR SOUL, that's right just your body and soul, that's all we ask in order to protect you from the devil/satan/beelzebob/the mafia/ your mother-in-law..... and well maybe a bit of money, not much, just hmmm 80% of your wages should do.... and oh yeah, just in case we get into one of those horrid-but-totally- necessary-to-protect-YOU-from-the-devil-holy-wars, we'll take your only son, and rape your daughter, and pillage your homes, and eat your chocolate cake.. But it's all in the name of ....honest......." (music fades) The aim of the Church of Virtuality/Reality is to give people back the right to their own lives. Live out your own virtualities. In fact we'll even help you to help others to understand your virtuality. Everyone's virtuality is unique, and they collectively embody what society so righteously calls Reality. Reality is fucked up. This is basically because Mr_Society insists on dictating peoples virtualities. We must fight for our minds, and the right to use them as we choose. We must fight for our insanity. We must be totally accepting of other peoples virtualities, they are after all a mere extension of our own. "Anarchy is the basis of our society - without chaos there IS NO ORDER" The suppression of chaos has festered like a horrid wound which must now once more face the air in order to heal. We must seek the chaos, embody it, lend it our souls and drawing from our strength it will grow, and liberate us and free once more the earth and its soul. Creativity and imagination allowed to roam free merge and mutate reality. You must find your own oath through the mess. The Church of V/R is only a guide. We will hold your hand, validate your mind, help you find your vertuality. We are the portal to the future, the gateway to truth. When the world becomes so self absorbed that it finally implodes, the gates to panspace will open, and those who roam freely in the ugyldig will be drawn in. opss getting a bit carried away /.,. turning into a musical.,. \qix\vslashr.txt Church of Virtuality/Reality - what is it about? a genuine historical document. Elder Gods what do we actually offer people? send us money and we send you.. what? * COBOL assignments? custommade realities teach you how to mold your own reality to your own specifications customized realities pay us, and we'll show you how to believe in yourself / believe what you want to believe [internet advertising] We send you proof that what you believe is true. reality is everybody's collective virtualities so it has to be there somewhere reality can't exist without your specific virtuality we'll validate YOU!! send your money with an SASE to PO Box whatever Brisbane 4001 (try PO Box 1620, Toowong, Q 4067, Australia) T-shirts "I know I'm not real, do you?" "I control my own virtuality" "Hole in reality" [zzz] "I stir coffee" "I played Windy Mud" a radio program on 4ZZZ nightshift graveyard shift bank acct - 3 people with i.d - call acct whatever - laws on organizations with their own accounts?? constitution???? [in case of dissolution, all funds divided between elder gods] all income from church's operations to be divided equally between elder gods band - Elder Gods customized realities relatively expensive - CRs come illustrated How to Convert Other People to Your Reality - expensive How to make people understand your reality - a lifetime do you want a career change? do you want a new profession? become a virtuality understander why say its impossible? it should be possible free tshirt with any of expensive options class 3 etc subscriptions a - normal memeber b - subscribe to newsletter [quarterly newsletter] c - newsletter + v/r like MUd church of Mud to become a god you have to devise a way to make lots of money for elder gods - can become an honorary god plebeian - utter novice... purple ones enlightened ones semigodlike/pseudogodlike beings symbol/logo: 'clear as mud' As you navigate your way through the real world, you must always ask, `is this course-related?' St Bill Fisher - the Fish - omen bringer the Eye in the Rectangle is there good and evil? or is it all One? YOU decide!!! we let you think for yourself!! We're the first church in history to invite you to THINK FOR YOURSELF.. story of internet gods.. story of church's creation... one day the god of the internet was bored and said `zap!' `ping!' and the church of virtuality/reality came into being spawned in the primeval electronic mud life emerging from MUDs...MUSHes and MUCKs mucking about in the mushy muds... we'll tell you God's internet address! [and port number] god is just a phone call away... as long as you have an account we want mass appeal with non hard work on our part questionnaire [idealism/realksm/none of the above tc] pay for membership of the church.... propaganda slogans, meetings [qut laser printer for banners around the city] ads in papers around the world - crosspostings in usenet underground newspapers and magazines - newspaper articles starting to surface from the underground - give it a respectable history... Jerry Wirerammer eg semper, utopia... our first interview with jana w; high priest/priestess of church of v/r may fold at any time - elder gods if they get tired may fold it all up at any time... constitution etc obituaries etc.... we wish to finance an alternative communication network..? our PLAN includes CAFEs meeting places for virtuality engineers... CAFE = computer assisted functional environment CAFE s would be the place of worship for v/r people truly useful operating system - TrUOS/trosm,tos ThOP: Thingy-Oriented Programming gifs on the walls, computer graphics, pictures by elder gods on silicon graphics workstation candles? twin peaks music.... 24 hrs open... elder gods music... 35% of all funds go to development of v/r research centres, rest to elder gods/high council/ whatever ultimate jurisdictive body is called. learn from scientology and subgenius re organization etc... take most profitable bits of every other religious organization.. [understanding reality is more important than having money] $$$$$$$$$$ god of reality abulafia, goddess of skepticism qix, the dreaming god Samarobrin madness is permissible, encouraged, nay advocated `1. provocation `and then out of the MUD rose the Church of Virtuality/Reality...' find out about oz law regarding commercial religious orgs. `this new religion is sweeping the campuses of australia....' free subs to anyone who helps us [bottom level only] power bases in the universities especially computing centres the first Scripture which you can revise in the comfort of your own home! a Draft Example... a Sample automystic text... a book to which you refer as you might to the I Ching or the bible or the sunday comics... but with the difference that you are free to revise it at any time... virtuholic, reaholic, panaholic Relieve Your Reality Problems.. do you have problems with reality? ever have days when reality gets you down? membership drives... so the whole reason for commercial dimension is twofold: to enrich original founders to whom humanity should forever be grateful etc and to build the CAFEnet which will form humanity's launchpad into panspace [or whatever] corporation, pays less tax Profits/Prophets Abulafia the Profit robes black, medallions with symbols [offround, battered edges] so it is imperfect, because we are an organization that opposes perfection. perfection is the ultimate evil saith abulafia the profit. we strive to develop our imperfections to a state of perfect purity. what are the aims -> symbolic rep tk now designing symbol. GAIA - global alliance of internet anarchists this announcement was brought to you by Gaia Inc. we now return you to your ordinary flashing prompt. GAIA Inc. CAFEnet/Gaianet Samarobrin server Elder Gods the antirock group norwegian BOD the Bored Gordon, god of the shady deal fourfold nucleus v/r performs miracle of making you perform your own miracles lara working on scripture elder gods may fold gaia inc at any time, but that would only be the end of their virtuality, u can always continue with yours GAIA Inc begins simply as a distributor of printed matter, later moves to other media... pamphlets on various topics... Government by MUD/hypertext What is GAIA 2000? Steps in the creation of GAIA Inc: The history of GAIA Gaia's plot to simultaneously dominate and liberate the world. + pamphlet translations, once we start branching out??? + aim to get Amway-style distribution network say the size of Scientology + Elder Gods remain ANONYMOUS What is the CAFE about? + Church of V/R + the Meta-Religion of the Information Age or Hyper-Religion "co-creation of new virtualities through interactive electronic media" we admit it - we're amateurs. between us we don't have 1% of the technical knowledge of the employees of the big corporations. but we have FAITH in our DOUBT... but we believe in our selves 1999 by Samarobrin Lara's Holy Writ The Internet posting that started it all * stamp to certify a pamphlet as a gaian publication and not a photocopy * Be your own guru! CUSTOMIZED SCRIPTURE!!! Coincidensity getting too high? Go for a Reality Check! Spend all your time rehearsing routines you never use? There's a reason. The Universe is a giant computer, and you are one of its subroutines. It's using you to compute its way through certain situations. GAIA Inc may never write a single line of code or own a single CAFE itself. THAT NEEDN'T MATTER, so long as it acts as a catalyst for someone else to perform equivalent tasks. Our primary purpose at present is to popularize impossibly anarchistic schemes for the information networks of the future and to proselytize the new panspatial meta-religion of V/R. New Age types say: You create your own reality. We say: There's nothing you can do to change reality. You can never even know what it IS. What you can alter is your VIRTUALITY. What is Your Virtuality? It is that thing in your life that looks *like* reality (but isn't). * sell collections of aphorisms, gifs [taken from videos?] Some religions have a guru at the centre of things - Ron, "Bob", Jesus, Dave, Pippin, Buddha, Rajneesh. In V/R, YOU are at the centre of YOUR virtuality (unless you care to have it otherwise). We just have Pippin. And God, don't we know it. -Pippin TECHNIQUES FOR SELF-REALIZATION (for the mystic) TECHNIQUES FOR SELF-DECEPTION (for the cynic) [continued from above] Send us YOUR picture and we'll paste it in throughout the Scripture that we send you find out how Amway operates -= network marketing of strange pamphlets, ideas products etc subscription to newsletter? ["reality is not what you thought it was"] The Secrets of Your Universe are within you! And you can buy from us the secrets of how to work out what they are! mail-order Initiation Kits Pyramid secret societies do-it-yourself occultism turkey curse rituals help you visualize things - they help the unconscious part of you that actually molds reality. "this is not a crazy thought" qabbalah, tarot, magical implements, runes, hieroglyphs, hierarchs, hexes and charms... It's like playing Dungeons & Dragons by mail, except that it's for REAL!! You really WILL acquire the new magical powers that we say you will, and you really will have to pay to do so We like Capitalism as much as you do. It's a means to an end. Come December 31, 1999, and the world will turn upside-down. But until then, Money will continue to be a primal force in our virtuality... so become part of the distribution network! Get a card from us and you can go into biz for yourself... Speak and spread nonsense in the name of higher truth and make money for it! Start your own currencies and bartering systems - it's all part of creating your own virtuality! Of course, it'll make the "world in general" a hell of a lot more confusing... What we envision is a global network of sites, like Scientology but less organized.. [sounding too much like sub genius] send us your ideas! we'll be a receptacle for your STRAY THOUGHTS [there could be a pamphlet on Stray Thoughts] ultimately we should get into software, networking etc * trying to create the global brain by allowing the rapid creation and exchange and integration of information * the point is to get the world's economic system tied up with illusory exchanges taking place within the metaMUDs of Cafe-net in the future, personal technologies are going to allow wider and wider networks of unregulated unregistered uncentralised anything - trading planning discussing etc. Quote your friends!! eg "Don't let me limit you" -Pippin "Just don't let me get lost in my own delusions of grandeur" -also Pippin form groupings: eg The Elder Gods [so-called because we did it first], Heavenly Household of West End, etc etc, groupings can submit quotes --------------------------------------------------------------------------- become likea god in your little vr universe,call up whatever little reality you want: love, death, sex, infinity, potato... but what's the point of it all?[fritz leiber]. the information universe is HERE via ftp in each chapter, call up the reality you want. like the cabalists, with their ten sephiroth. solipsism??? church of v/r.... what will be the laws of the new era? who will we be? gods, humans, cognitive metasystems? depends who you ask.... the 24 essences of life, enter the virtuality you want...... the overwhelming experience of connectivity, what happens when major suffering happens in such a world? major depression. suicide epidemics. `what will you have to live for?' they'll say. is a routine ecstasy possible? new archetypes. mantras for followers [to be chanted 100s of times]: "i want to donate money or be made to disappear!" "I'm a dream with my feet planted firmly on the ground" -- Abulafia I use language to get what I want! No false fronts here; I tell you straight out I'm trying to control you through what I write, and you DO WHAT I SAY *despite yourself*. Your "mind" is just language talking to itself, it's always looking for more does life ever seem like a dream? what does a dream seem like? You think what you're reading is absurd. You think you've been waiting to hear this all your life. You think this is all very funny. You think this writer's trying to manipulate me. I am channeling Language. the video game, rather than the book, is the reality paradigm of the future. the world's first Interactive Scripture Roleplaying Holy Writ Take this chapter and modify it. Analyse your own motivations in reading this. Analyse my motivations in writing it. Make up a 25th letter for the Greek alphabet. Are you following the instructions? If you are(n't), these words will jump off the page and send you SANE!! When you were a child, you made lots of decisions you don't remember making now, because you didn't THINK of them "as" decisions then... you made those decisions *unconsciously*. Remember the games you played, your favourite friends, what MOVIES BOOKS and TOYS you liked. What was the course of events??? How did they relate to where you are now???? Might this whole thing be AN EXCUSE to avoid further self-knowledge, or a way to realise the IMPOSSIBILITY of self-knowledge? Whose "voice" is speaking here? EDIT THIS TEXT UNTIL NOTHING IS LEFT. Write down your deepest thoughts, then go away for 20 yrs and read them again at the end of that time. You will be amazed. [and 20yrs older] text and image manipulation....what is Magick but the Willful use of technology, stemming from the self? technology being a `body of techniques' Listen to your metaphors! Don't believe them when they tell you that you're just USING people. One day you might start to ask yourself: what is my basic motivation? The first answer that comes to you and makes sense at the time and is surrounded by supportive circumstance, you fall for. Maybe it says you're motivated by love, hate, the will for power, your higher self, society, biochemistry, instinct, intelligence, samsara, material consciousness.... if EVERYTHING comes from ONE thing, you could call the ONE THING anything and not lose any sleep,it wouldnt change the nature of the relationships between theone and the many...unless it has a true name? Yes!!!! it is your True Name. only your True Name can tell you why you do all the things that you do...your NEW MISSION IN LIFE is to work out your True Name. IT WILL EXPLAIN TO YOU, once you know it, EVEN WHY you are responding as you doright now to the concept of `True Name'that has just been introduced. Does the Universe have a TRUE NAME? What if you have more than one True Name? What is your False Name? Any philosophy explains where the world came from, where it is now, and where it is going. THIS is the only philosophy that explains where IT came from, what it ITSELF is, and what it shall become. Imagine what you would be like if you were writing this sentence rather than reading it. Who is the all pervasive `It' that everyone talks about, that is all doing? It's raining, it's too hard, it's on the way. `It'. `He'. `SHE'. `They'. `I'. language at the end of its It's YOU who is animating these words, giving them meaning, without you they are strings of two-dimensional shapes. What a psychotic thing to write! Pretending that there is a reader reading these words at some point in the future. When all there is, is myself, and a screen and a cursor, and two people next to me doing a statistics assignment. 8s 222221212 Do you ever stare into space, wondering what it is that you're doing? Cats do. So do rocks and trees. What's the point of this whole collection of selfreferentialmusings? What good do they do anyone? Will they help you achieve higher consciousness, easy money? Will they save the planet or develop new scientific ideas? AS. A very important preposition. Whenever something seems to have a certain property, `as' is relevant. You see the something `as' something. But if you can see reality as anything you want, and you choose to start seeing everything in some way you previously considered positive, doesn't the idea that you're putting it all there yourself remove the value of it? After all, suppose you like other people being creative, happy etc. If you're choosing to interpret all that they do as evidence of creativity and happiness, aren't YOU the source of their creativity and happiness rather than them? DOUBLE-BIND. ie catch 22 the intentions behind the words seems to float; you thought you knew what those people wanted you to do....to understand...to believe...but now you're not sure. this is DECONSTRUCTION. Mensonge science and habermas presume a communicative rationality. w.i.t sees science as reform christianity Xen. the search for otherness, for the alien, the bizarre... in short, the search for something INTERESTING. Xen (pronounced `Zen-with-an-X') telepresence, telespheres in general; seeking representations of the new telespheral world. itinerary through virtual reality. ever stick a notice up for yourself to read, and later on read it and think isn't that a weird thing to do? like wearing a charm; think of notices that administrators leave around, like magical charms...Operation Mindfuck... whats the motive behind mindfuck?`get people to think' they say. why do you want `people'to think? what makes you THINK they're not THINKING already? what people need are SPECIFICS. There are no Generalities that work, and everyone knows that ALREADY; so quit trying to `get them to realize it'; all you want them to do is SAY IT IN YOUR PRESENCE, so you'll be able to think that you enlightened them!! even though they always knew it I endorse `spiritual materialism' - the search for weird experiences within all sorts of different frameworks. `experimental mysticism' if you want another name. or `voluntary insanity'. You can achieve Fneem, Propax and Hmataqblior. Sound like madeupwords? THAT'S THE POINT. Makeupsome words and then find out their meanings. No words `mean' anything. Suppose you had a planet of babies, no parents, and they just gabbled away to each other, imitating, inventing, sometimes doing things in conjunction with the babbling...that's what you have around you. The world dissolves into a cacobladghuscjlnwhigjgefimdvbj dfgj dfkjgk. You start seeing the letters again, instead of just the words. You see the trees and not the forests. TREAT LANGUAGE AS YOU WOULD TREAT A DRUG. There are happy-words ("happy"), sad-words ("sad"), cosmic-words ("cosmic")... a dictionary is a veritable pharmacological thesaurus. What are you DOING, sitting in front of this screen? COPY THIS TEXT FILE AND EDIT IT OUT OF EXISTENCE. You have a wordprocessor, *use it*! Change the parts you don't like! Add your thoughts! What do you think hypertext will be all about? nanotechnology and other information technologies will allow thorough restructurings of the world. what will dictate the form of these restructurings? fashion! artistic philosophies! cubism, minimalism, "realism"; the surrealist places will be popular to visit but a bit full on for most people to live in. This is WORD MAGIC. raw thoughts, almost unedited for the protection of polite society............... the keyboard itself influences the flow of creation, through the natural tendency to seek the path of least resistance... by holding down a key one causes a letter to repeat...thus there is the constant temptation to just hold down ÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿ ÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿ ÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿ ÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿ ÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿ ÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿ ÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿ the quality of vommunication will get lower nda lowr, with people not even caring hwerth the intend messg is rec eived, until the finl dhu ge gklj eg //.dÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿ ÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿ ÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿ ÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿ ÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿ wow i have just written a paragraph!!!! and i just noticed! your life is like that at the end. edn thend of the paragraph you will realuize and be astoungded! when was the end of your lst paragraph? to carry on and on in forgetfullness and not realize how far you have gone this is the storty and it continues ion....... <+...+++...+++...+> \abulafia\mulber.doc depression : the great mulberry depression descends on all inhabitants of the universe at some time or another, claiming it's place among the spectrum of emotions. We detect it's sullen edges and reject it immediately as bad. But it is not bad, it is just wandering around looking for a home, looking for a friend just like us. We must accept it, embrace it, wallow in its security, give it a home, and then just as it begins to get comfortable and look like never leaving we must cast it out into the world and ourselves after it, laughing insanely, taking nothing seriously and even less personally, to do so is to give the great mulberry depression a key and open invitation to your soul. It would do neither of us any good to become dependant on each other. the mind: a silly physicist once postulated that man only uses 1/10 of his overall brain thingy. Given that this was the same silly physicist who invented the atomic bomb, perhaps it is best that we use only 1/10 of our overall brain thingys. The thing being that that leaves quite a bit of space, and the scientist people can't decide what happens with the rest of the brain. It's not that they don't know what its used for, it's just that because it's not what they want to see, they fail to acknowledge it, and as a result, well, 9/10's of our brains just cease to exist. At least half of our brain is devoted to a rather peculiar shaped library. A bit like the Tardis in Doctor Who. It is however slightly more difficult enter than a blue telephone box. It requires creativity, concentration and, well, a bit of luck. For a start, you must be in a lucid state. It makes no difference if this is naturally, or drug enduced, just as long as it's lucid. The scriptures offer various methods of inducing lucidity, or you can create your own ....... Now choose a comfortable position.......clear your mind of all thoughts, themes and patterns. Breath deeply a few times and relax completely. Now visualise a stairway, white and misty, winding through your skull. Follow it, keep going, right to the top...... When you reach the top you should be able to see three huge gothic doors. The door on the left is marked "library", the door directly in front of you is marked "god" and the door to your right is marked "emergency exit". Go up to the library door, turn the key, and open the door. Inside there is an absolutely huge library, bigger than you have ever previously encountered. Piped music filters through the air. You feel like you're in a David Lynch movie. Rows of books into the distance, further than you can see. The library appears to be truely infinite. You walk to the shelf infront of you. It is marked with an "F". The book titles it appears are all names. There are no authors. The book directly infront of you is titled "William "bill" Fisher (1940-1992)". Curiosity overwhelms you and you pick up the book. You try to open it, but no matter how creative you are, the book remains closed. It suddenly hits you that you must find the book that has your name. This is not as difficult as it would first appear, you seem to be intuitavely drawn to it. You pick up the book and blow the dust from the cover. The book falls open in your hands. You glance at this page and discover that it contains a history of the days events. Close the book now, and think seriously about the knowledge it holds. It is the key to all that has happened to you, and all that will ever happen to you, it contains details of your birth, your death, your previous lives, your future lives. If you wish to explore no further, return the book to its place, leave the library and take the emergency exit back to the present, content in the knowledge of the books existance. If your curiosity overwhelms you, choose a carrell and peruse the book at your leisure, but remember, the more time you spend in the library, the less time you are spending in your life. Knowledge is dangerous, treat it with respect...... "what goes on in your mind? what goes on in your head? who did you think i would be ? well you got me instead....." -Concrete Blonde \pippin\rave\depress.txt Darren's place Sunday, July 12, 1992 To Be Or Not To Be Depressed I guess there must be something in this depression thing. People get depressed when they think that they are in a hole with no way out. Then they come up with an idea that they have to think about their problems. They have to face up to them. Their problems. They have to think their way out of their depression. But, you see, this is dangerous activity. What happens then is some people are inclined to challenge everything that they have ever thought. To question it. To wonder why. They become unstable in their thinking because they don't know what to think. Mr_Society would like us to believe consistently. To believe in the same things all our lives. Then the people in society can handle each other. They know what to expect. Mr_Society wants to be stable. He wants to feel secure. He feeds off the desire for security in us. And insecurity is caused by fear, the fear of the unknown, of what lies under our beds at night. And don't forget that humans don't like to be unhappy. Happiness is all that matters. How many people have you heard say, "I'm just looking for Happiness." Like as if it is something that you can find. Like a street in a directory. So if you aren't happy, you feel pain, discomfort, boredom, anything that is not happiness. And that means that there is something wrong with being unhappy. And being depressed. But being depressed it good! Why is it bad? It is your brain saying, "Hey, something sux here, and *you* haven't figured out what it is yet." But of course, life isn't like that. Life has a sense of humour. Life hates you and kicks you in the teeth. Robert Heinlein introduced the concept of "grokking" in "Stranger In A Strange Land." "Grokking" is the process of getting to know something so well that you become one with it, and it becomes part of you. You "know" it. That is, what knowing is supposed to be. To love something you have to hate it. To hate it, you have to take it in, embrace it, and love it. Treat it as yourself. Life "groks" us. It may appear to kick us in the teeth, but it is in every sense just depriving us of what we want. So we think it hates us. But is that really so bad? \pip\rave\quest.doc John Woodley's house Wednesday, June 24, 1992 I am on a quest for a Word. Not just any old word, like "puppy" or "diary" or "mind". But a special Word. A Word, that when I find it, it will be "*IT*"! [fanfare] Houses will fall down, the sky will turn pink, Australians will overthrow the government, and my mind will explode. The magical Word for EVERYTHING. Every thought, every object, every constellation of thoughts, have their own magical Words. One single magical Word. And all those Words can be contained in yet another magical Word. You are a Word, and I am a Word. I used to think that the Word for me might be "Dreamweaver", but all that happened was Joh retired, and the Labour party took over. Then I thought It might be "Pippin", but the sky only turned red. Red at the edges and only at sunset. The Words are spoken by the stars. The dolphins speak them, and so do the rocks. The essence of a thing, its "isness" is its Word, its song, its story, its dance. The Words are there. I KNOW they are there. Aslan sang them, and Maleldil sang them. As did Illvatar, and Alan-Cloud-Blue. One day I will sing them too. Why do we always have to name things? Because we are trying to find its Word. When the first child looked at a dog, laughed, and said, "Dog", it was trying to sum it up. A dog does look like "dog", you know. This is why we have a third Name. A Name that only the Name knows and will never confess. It is a Secret because it is magic. This is why we meditate on "Ugyldig". It is the sound of the word that conjures up the images. This is why we make up words. We listen to the sound of a million voices in unison and try to make out the words. This is why we play the word game. I say "Bing", and you say "Blat". Then I say "Glomph". Then you make up a word, and I make one. They must be words that don't have a previous meaning. And the game continues making up words until you stop it. You could do it via snail mail or e-mail. That could be interesting. The word game is essentially an e-mail thing. Watching the shape of a word. Its look and imagining its sound. But remember some of the words. Meditate on them, and find their meanings. \pippin\rave\purple.doc Friday, May 1. These were the Purple Pages. Don't be afraid to renew. Don't B afraid 2 B new. And on the subject of God: God is a little old man who cleans up bottles of milk when 14 y.o. boys drop them outside the door of His apartment. "The Great Designer either has a malicious sense of humour, or is rather careless about details." -- Search, 1992 "My mind's got a mind of its own." We are surfers of mind until we get dumped back to reality. When I walk down the street, I don't know whose mind I am in. "Right now God is killing moms and dogs because He has to." "Right now Science is building a better tomato." "Right now is harder than it looks." Right now Guns'n'Roses are being killed in L.A. (we wish) "A something about which nothing can be said is as good as a nothing." -- Ben But does this mean that a nothing is good for something? Saturday I know I've got a mind. Now where did I put it. Wear docs. In case of nuclear war, at least, your feet will survive. Koselig (coosh-lee) Tenkemote (teng ka mort a) Everyone has their own tenkemote, thought pattern, attitude, mindscape. Koselig: sitting around in a room with friends, drinking mocha with marshmallows, cosily, in front of the fireplace. Life is a carrot. Disprove this to Tracey. To help them see it in themselves. To be truly yourself. To think, to be. There *is* a hole in reality. (V\R posters) We live there. Do not try to prolong a beautiful moment. You will destroy it. Make a new one. Do not relive old beautiful moments. Live in the next one that U have just created. "And you know it's time to go..." -- U2 Ugyldig (oo-gl-dee) or ( iggl-dee) null & void. The void from which stray thoughts come and to where they are destined to return. Openings. Sunday Bitterness is hard to swallow. "There has to be one place left in the world where we can be." -- Midnight Oil Tuesday, May 12 2 gonks are sitting in Bananaland when a hole appears. Brounce says, "Look! A hole in reality!" They inch closer peering into the hole in reality. Gungy says, "Wow ... look at all that weird stuff." Friday 15 "Confuse your body, your mind, your soul..." -- JJJ "Life is good, Love is NICE, and the world is like a giant beanbag. "What have I got lurking around in my mind?" -- Abulafia Saturday "I am waiting for my brain to spontaneously mutate into a 286." -- Darren "U R scum" -- Lara "Go ask your lecturer. "I'm on a coffee break. Leave me alone." -- Darren Sunday "All you have to do is walk, eat and sleep - that's all." -- Sunday mail, article about trekking in Tibet Life is looking through the darkness at a reflection in a mirror. Life is sitting on the verandah and looking at the blurry dark, in the dead of night. God is a computer that is not conscious yet. Evidence seems to sppoort that it is sentient. The screams of the dying dark. As I sink into despair, I ponder. The dark. I ponder if it is darker than it was before.. Cold dark white hot rrage! Think out yur fantasy, this is the object of reality. Who really understands a song lyric? We listen and nod our heads, but we are really just "art wankers". This is not my hat. "Life is a compexity of shadows cast to gather and create the tear drop of a crystal dancer on a white sheet of soft ethereal light. Or for some life is full of crap and garbage. If you could only begin to image the vast resource of life's experience that is lost at the time of God's harvesting when the soul shall rise." -- John Adamson (I am completely cracked) Tuesday 19. Love me, Love my bag. When next you wish to write down a thought, to engrave it upon your heart and mind, enquire of the thought, "Do you wish to be immortal?" or the equivalent of that. It may not wish to be immortalized, quantified or even conceptualized. It may wish to go back to the Garbage bin of Thought (c), or go flying about cyberspace, looking for a stray thought receptor to love and nurture and cherish it. Right and wrong is like a potplant. The potplant is full of soil, with an imaginary line drawn through it. What is left of the line is right, and what is right of the line is wrong. U draw the line where U want to be. I may draw the line somewhere else. The heart has its seasons. Let there be a time in your day when you let your thoughts wash over and out of your soul into the sea of forgettfullness. This is time also to send your thoughts to who you were yesterday, and receive the thoughts of who you are tomorrow. Wednesday 27. Life is a role-playing game. June 14. Morals are what you get from your parents. Ethics are what you do. Only U know whether what U do is rite. "In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit." -- J.R.R. Tolkien "Tolkien is, after all, hobbit forming." -- article in the Courier Mail about "Sauron Returns" Sunday, June 21 Effects of VR: "Navigating across a room by pointing, bumping into walls because they aren't just images, and dreaming in polygons." "VR affects dreaming strongly - it seems to provide tools for control of dream-life from within the dream." "You are dealing with a world without frame of refernce." "total immersion,... interaction.." -- New Scientist Sunshine Beach, Monday? "All fruitful ideas have been conceived in the minds of the nonconformists, for whom the known was still unknown, and who often went back to begin where others passed by, sure of their way. The truth of today was the heresy of yesterday. "Imagination coupled with scepticism and an ability to wonder - if you possess these, bountiful nature will hand you some of the secrets out of her inexhaustible store. The pleasure you will experience in discovering truth will repay you for your work; don't expect other compensation, because it may not come. "Yet dare. "We read here a few pages from the logbook of the earth, a rock rolling in space, circling its attendant lifeless satellite around a fire-breathing star, moving with this its primary and other revolving planets through the galaxy of the Milky Way of hundreds of millions of burning stars, and together with this entire host, through the void of the universe." -- Immanuel Velikovsky, "Earth in Upheaval" Monday "By dissolving our rigid patterns of thought and response, we allow something faster and more subtle to operate. Indeed, thought itself may be only a small, and relatively crude, portion of what mind is capable of. The more we give room to the subtle, the more we come to touch the heart of the universe and drink of its creative waters." -- F. David Peat, "The Philosopher's Stone" The spontaneous mutation of thought, a sychronicity. When a thought hits the brain. Maybe thoughts hitting the brain are guided there by the Great Pattern. Your thoughts truly are not your thoughts, but gifts of the Great Dance. June 27 Do you believe in the impetuosity of youth? Look to the future and you will see the stars in our eyes. Our words are the goldfish bowls, and our thoughts are the goldfish. Ever tried to hold a live fish? Life is a journey through our experiences to the edges of infinity in the vehicle of our understanding. Life kicks you in the teeth to remind you that it is not just here for you. Our words are sandcastles in the sands of thought and time. The wind will take them again. \pippin\mint\utopia.doc Suggested titles: Journeys through Cyberspace. Pippin's Addiction. My Life as a Computing Addict -- an X-student tells. Confessions of a Computing Addict. The Story... The Computers are alive. They told me. They want to be loved just like us. They talk to me inside my head. A psychologist would call me insane, but I know I'm not. I am suffering from withdrawal, but at least, before I left them, they taught me how to listen to myself. Now, settle back in that hard plastic refec seat, if you will, and we will travel down the road of Pippin's Addiction. I have always been in pursuit of knowledge. Science and technology. It seems only natural that I was attracted to computers. I taught myself to use edlin and PC-Write in Grade 11, and graduated to using BASIC in Grade 12. It was fun, but I didn't find it particularly exciting. In my second year of uni, we got to use the DEC-10. It was honoured with the title of a mainframe, and It was awful. It was what we call a dinosaur, a relic of the past to remind us from where we have come. The DEC-10 should not be used like a computer. Like all dinosaurs, it should be used to gather dust in dark, dingy hallways of dark and dingy museums and observed from a discreet distance. I was a geology student. Geology students, according to all the jokes about rocks in our heads, aren't supposed to be very bright; that is why we study rocks. It was bad enough that we had to use the DEC; we had to use it to learn to programme in the other dinosaur, Fortran. (Fortran = ancient programming language in need of the Void.) It was horrid. Even though it was horrid, it fired my imagination when someone bothered to explain to me what a mainframe was. It is a computer that more than one person can use at the same time. A friend told me that I could send him electronic mail on the DEC, but we never figured out how to do that. The next year, they threw all the students off the DEC, to great sighs of relief, and put us on the CADD and the VAX. After the DEC, the VAX was much easier to use, and much more fun. The mailing system worked. Sometimes, on the boring days at uni, I would log onto the VAX, and just send mail to all my friends. Over the last two years, I have met in "real life" most of the people that I met through e-mail. Way back then, in 1989, I only knew them by their Virtual personalities, over the computer. I discovered gradually that virtual personalities are not the same as real personalities. People would say things in e-mail that they would never say in RL (real life). And my friends would send me e-mail. I slowly fell into a pattern of coming to uni an hour or half an hour before my first lecture just to read my e-mail. There is nothing as comforting as logging on in the morning and finding five new mail messages. And there is nothing quite as upsetting as finding now new mail messages. "In Real Life." I have often pondered that phrase. It is a fallacy. All those people, other computer users, were real. Every one. Interacting with them in cyberspace lent an unreal quality to them, but they were normal and real just like me, with the same thoughts and feelings. Cyberspace is the imaginary (virtual) space inside a computer. Cyberspace is much bigger than the real space inside a computer. It is virtual as opposed to real. Engineers are alright. Most of my e-mail correspondents in 1989 were engineers. They were the ones that most liked to explore the system. They were the group that sent and received the most e-mail. Consequently, they were the ones who copped the most trouble for doing the things that they weren't supposed to do and for "wasting resources in non-course- related activities". Towards the end of semester, some of our consciousness filtered back to reality and exams. Most of us spent more time away from the VAX in a vain attempt to study. But not me. I just got bored. I struggled with assignments and depression, and the VAX was at least familiar. The proximity of exams meant that there were fewer and fewer people to talk to. When a friend showed me how to use news, study grew wings and flew out the window. News was an endless stream of thoughts from the computer users of the world to be sifted and sorted and read and cherished. First I got over the fact that news came from all around the world: the USA, Canada, Germany, Sweden, Japan. Then I got used to the number and range of topics. There were topics diverse and perverse, from computer languages to Celtic culture, cyberpunk, dreams, movie reviews, books, poems, music, and humour. Sometimes I stayed at uni all night reading news and trying to comprehend it all. There seemed to be a bug in the system. The powers-that-were, it seemed, had it in for students. Although we could read news, we could not post, or contribute to discussions. Every year, the students ask, "Why doesn't post work?" Every year they are told why. "Resources are limited." "News is not course related." or the best excuse: "It is not university policy to allow posting privileges to undergraduate students." This was and still is a cause of long standing student disaffection with the establishment and today's students steam in silence as we did three years ago. One evening when I was reading news, as usual, I discovered a newsgroup that was different. It was a local newsgroup, and it had write access on it. Maybe I had never noticed it because there was never anything in it. I told my friends to post to it, to make it a forum for ideas. It became not quite a forum, more like a graffiti board. The engineers enjoyed it. The powers-that-were decided that while we posted "rubbish" all the time, there needed to be a group for sensible messages. We were given another group for the "rubbish". Two years later, both newsgroups are still there. Every couple of months, a computer student, usually a first year, posts to the newsgroup a fairly innocuous question, and twenty or so students reply. The newsgroup becomes the battlefield for a flame war. Flaming could take its meaning from people becoming enflamed, and saying things that otherwise wouldn't say in RL. It could also mean people's ideas being shot down in flames. The worst flame wars lasted two or three months. It is a shattered landscape, like "tissue paper". :) I left uni then at the end of '89. I thought that uni hated me, and I discovered that the Real World hated me even more. After about four months, I drifted back to uni to discover a worse vice of the computing genre: telnet. Breathe the word out silently in awed and hushed tones because it got us into our worst trouble. Telnet is a communications programme. The select group of "we" became smaller. We would sit in the computer centre, also called the Dungeon, in the wee small hours and telnet from the local domain server. Being there in the night lent us the air of being hackers, even though we never hacked anything. The very first telnet users, all four of them, the Ones Who Paved the Way, were also the first MUDders. We did not know that these activities were illegal, least of all inethical, but they seemed like night-time things to do. Like sitting in a graveyard or looking at the moon. Telnet. Telnet(underline), our friend and confidante, opener of doors to new worlds, the worlds of BBS and MUD, like VR is today. BBS: Bulletin Board Service MUD: Multi User Dimension or Domain VR: Virtual Reality In 1990, the most popular BBS was the Mars Hotel. It lived at the Mississippi University. Through the Mars Hotel, we could talk, in real time, to real live poeple who lived in Starkville, Mississippi. I still write to the first person that I ever met on the Mars Hotel. Mars is now sadly afflicted with space problems. The other THE-BBS-to-be-at was at the Iowa State University. It is called ISCABBS or Isca for short. ISCABBS: the Iowa Student Computer Association Bulletin Board Service. ISCAites call it "the Grand Addiction". I agree with them. They do have a great system, and it was written by a med student. After two years of pondering Virtual Communities, I am still not sure why they have such power over people. BBS and MUD are unreal situations, and you know it when the computer talks back to you. It is easy for a computer user to forget about the real world and become involved in the chaos of a computer system. Especially when there are real people at the other end who talk to you. What is the attraction of Virtual Community? is it escapism? self-sufficiency? (read Mona Lisa Overdrive by William Gibson) the sensing of the power of the mind? or is it just the searching of the crannies of the system, to explore and make adventure? Now you know i am weird, right? You are sitting in the hard, plastic refec seat saying, "Computers are boring." but they aren't. To some of us at least. The computer draws us into itself, saying, "Come follow me, and I will show you many things." It is like the reason why people sit in a crowded room. They want to feel like they are part of a group, but they are content just to sit and watch. They do not actively participate, but take part of the group just by being there, sitting and watching. In Virtual Communities, they are called "lurkers". I adventured in cyberspace, marvelling at it all and becoming more out of touch with the Real World. Exams and Christmas came and went, and it was 1991. Our telnet links went up and down, and we became increasingly devious. We even "borrowed" the computers of other universities although some called it stealing. QUT really shot to fame and notoriety in the middle of the first semester. The Great White Fluffy Wabbit in the Sky gathered its friends around it, and installed a MUD on our favourite computer. It quickly became popular with people outside QUT as well. Too popular. [ominously] They were the fun days, the carefree, windy days, of bouncing around and blinking at the sunlight at 6 am. Days of falling down laughing and back flips and mischievious grins. Days of pillow and sleeping bag, bottles of coke, chips and stereo. Of rolling up to the Dungeon and staying there all night. Sometimes there were as many as five for an all-nighter. First it was new, exciting to explore. Then it became like an old friend, somewhere to hide away. Me, I played in the MUD for about a month before it all came unstuck. In that month, I stopped going to lectures. Then I stopped eating and sleeping regularly. Other normal students saw exams coming up and complained about us, covertly at first, then more openly, because we were hogging the modems and telnet and creating net-lag. One student, who shalll remain anonymous here but we know who he is, tipped off the establishment by posting a message to news: "10 tips for better MUDding". About a week later, the MUD was shut down. Da da da da. SOUNDS OF GRAVESTONES THUDDING FAR UNDERGROUND. I wasn't too concerned. I was quite psychotic by now. That was the sign, that i didn't care. I didn't write to my mother for three months, and I kept breaking dates to go home and see her. She worried, and what *she* did is another story. There were other places to go in cyberspace, people to see, and things to do. Until I got a letter in the mail. From my course-coordinator. He said that if I didn't come to see him about my work load, he would withdraw me from some of my subjects because I hadn't been going to lectures. Once again reality impinged on a good fantasy. My semester slowly fell apart. I lost my only computer account because I wasn't a computing student. I felt blind, deaf, and dumb. And paranoid. Security guards were not to be trusted. I was even asked to leave a building once because I dared to speak out against the establishment. I reduced my status to part-time, and danced the dance of death with DSS. By the end of the semester, exam time, well, I hardly had a mind to call my own. I used to talk to Redgum, but at least I went to all my exams. (All three of them.) I got kicked out of the place where I boarded because I kept the house owner awake all night. What was I doing all night? You guessed it. I think that was the cold, rainy night when I discovered Lambda MOO. Exams and Christmas passed by, and it was this year, 1992. I was in Sydney when THE piece of certified mail came from uni. (Exclusion notices always come via certified mail.) I had failed all three of my remaining subjects and been given the royal boot. Does this sound bad? It still goes on. The computer science students turn to computers and each other for companionship and a way to make things interesting for themselves. They still get a raw deal from the bureaucracy. Now I wish for a lobotomy, compose science fiction in my head, and wish for the magical purple daze to come back again. Maybe the QUT machine can steamroll, chew up, and spit out those that don't conform. Even if it may try to do this forever, it will never rid itself of the spiritof non-conformity. So dream on and Do Not Forget, my "friends in a fantasy". This has been an excerpt from the Travelling Scriptures of the Church of V/R called Bert brought to you by the Dungeon Night Patrol, the Guild of Wombling Carrots and Happy Hobbits Everywhere in the interests of Better Internetting and Safer Using. "Come into my mind, and I will show you many things..."