=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= = F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K. = =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Things to Ponder ---------------- Just a few humorous things to ponder over. Kinda makes you wonder who came up with some of this and why we continue with our bizarre ways. Enjoy. * Why isn't "phonetic" spelled the way it sounds? * Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii? * Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes? * Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there? * If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors? * Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM? * Lisp, if you suffer, you can't say it. * Dyslexic, if you suffer, you can't spell it. * Why is "monosylabic", by definition, not? * How many people with a speech impedement can say "impedement"? * Why do "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing? * If you can't drink and drive, why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor, and why do bars have parking lots? * Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations? * How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings? * If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan? * Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways? * Why isn't 'palindrome' spelled the same way backwards? * Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo? * You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance? * Why is it so hard to remember how to spell 'mnemonic'? * Why is it called a TV "set" when you only get one? * Why does your nose run and your feet smell? * Why does an alarm clock "go off" when it begins ringing? * Why does "cleave" mean both split apart and stick together? * Why is it, whether you sit up or sit down, the result is the same? * Why is it called a "building" when it is already built? * Why do they call them "apartments" when they are all stuck together? * Why is there an expiration date on SOUR cream? * Why does flammable and inflammable mean the same thing? * How can someone "draw a blank"? * Shouldn't there be a shorter word for "monosyllabic"? * Why is the word "abbreviate" so long? * Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets? * What is another word for "thesaurus"? * When they ship Styrofoam, what do they pack it in? * Why doesn't "onomatopoeia" sound like what it is? * Why do 'tug' boats push their barges? * Why do we sing 'Take me out to the ball game', when we are already there? * Why are they called 'stands' when they're made for sitting? * Why is there only ONE Monopolies Commission? * Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing? * Why is it when two planes almost hit each other it is called a "near miss"? Shouldn't it be called a "near hit"? * Why is brassiere singular and panties plural? * Why do light switches say on/off? When it's on you can see it's on, when it's off you can't see to read. * How do you know it's an ENDLESS LOOP? * Why is FOOTball played by hand? * If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? * Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio? * If you have your finger touching the rearview mirror that says -- "objects in mirror are closer than they appear", how can that be possible? * If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen? * If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights? * You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"? * What's another word for thesaurus? * Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections? * If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from? This file brought to you by the Department of Redundancy Department. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= = Questions, Comments, Bitches, Ideas, Rants, Death Threats, Submissions = = Mail: jericho@dimensional.com (Mail is welcomed) = =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= = To receive new issues through mail, mail jericho@dimensional.com with = = "subscribe fuck". If you do not have FTP access and would like back = = issues, send a list of any missing issues and they will be mailed. = =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= = AnonFTP FTP.DIMENSIONAL.COM/users/jericho/FUCK = = FTP.SEKURITY.ORG/pub/zines/fucked.up.college.kids = = FTP.GIGA.OR.AT/pub/hackers/zines/FUCK = = FTP.ETEXT.ORG/pub/Zines/FUCK = = WWW http://www.dimensional.com/~jericho = = http://www.reps.net/~krypt/fuck.html = = http://www.interlog.com/~lisa/f.u.c.k. = =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= = (c) Copyright. All files copyright by the original author. = =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=