=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= = F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K. = =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= elevator dreams --------------- another day. i went to get lunch. i stood and waited for one of my co-workers, and this guy did the typical get in my way, i get out of his way, he gets in my way dance near the soda machine. a woman who worked there came up to me and opened her mouth as wide as possible and cackled, revealing a mouth full of missing teeth and and ranch dressing on her breath. she said loudly, "Shall we dance, madam?" it seemed heinous that the word madam should ever escape from her lips, and i pretended not to hear her. i got in the elevator, chatting inanely about work troubles with my co-worker. i watched an unattractive women with a nice body pick lipstick off of her teeth while she examined herself in the mirrored elevator walls. i got to my desk and stared at a web site unseeingly while i chewed on my toneless sandwich. i studied the grey walls in my office and imagined cracking the heads of the developers i work with while my office mate giggled insanely as he tried to fix a problem, his newly bought lunch sitting untouched on his desk. i read and responded to e-mail methodically, sipping coffee, and tried to fix our slow web site. visions of art twisted in my mind, and i longed to be home in my bathrobe, photoshop in front of me, graphics tablet in my lap. xterm -e vmstat 1& ps -ef | grep httpd netstat -rn unix, #include, blah blah. i am so tired of unix, so tired of my job, so tired of Colorado. i would rather be in a remote house with 5 cats and a freelance web design business and someone who would come home and ruffle my hair, pour me a glass of wine, ask me how my day was. i am tired of the clubs and the booze and the useless conversation. last night i read metamagical themas and burned candles and listened to classical music. that is me, not this baseball cap wearing tomboy who fixes web sites and broken builds and silly e-mail problems. no one is going to die if they don't get their princess diana update. she is already dead, nothing we can do. fuck 'em if they can't take a joke. my brother called last night, freshly installed in college, his voice vibrant and happy. i spoke to him with a smile on my face and a light tone, but i felt grey, lifeless. i would give the world to trade places with him, and regret my decision to not finish school, give up my life and loved ones in NY to be out here, alone. he is learning and debating and making new friends. i envy him. life is too still, out here. demonika =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= = Questions, Comments, Bitches, Ideas, Rants, Death Threats, Submissions = = Mail: jericho@dimensional.com (Mail is welcomed) = =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= = To receive new issues through mail, mail jericho@dimensional.com with = = "subscribe fuck". If you do not have FTP access and would like back = = issues, send a list of any missing issues and they will be mailed. = =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= = AnonFTP FTP.DIMENSIONAL.COM/users/jericho/FUCK = = FTP.SEKURITY.ORG/pub/zines/fucked.up.college.kids = = FTP.GIGA.OR.AT/pub/hackers/zines/FUCK = = FTP.ETEXT.ORG/pub/Zines/FUCK = = WWW http://www.dimensional.com/~jericho = = http://www.reps.net/~krypt/fuck.html = = http://www.interlog.com/~lisa/f.u.c.k. = =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= = (c) Copyright. All files copyright by the original author. = =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=