=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= = F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K. = =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Some Raindom Thoughts --------------------- I was thinking tonight; thinking about this magazine... I have been involved with F.U.C.K. for about four years now. I guess that I consider myself old school like that, and I wanted to express some of my experiences and reflections related to the magazine. I wrote my first file for F.U.C.K. under a different nick when I was a freshman in high school. My old BBS was one of the first F.U.C.K. distro sites in 303. I was one of the first people in 303 who knew that DisordeR was Dam. I have watched this mag grow and change over the last several years. I don't take credit for any of that. I don't feel special because I have been involved as much as I have. There are others who have a deeper background in this zine than myself. That is not the point I want to make. It's just some background that lets you know where I come from. I remember chatting with Dis one night on my BBS. Back then, I didn't know that he was Dam. All I knew was that he was connected to the zine in some way. I had read several of the files and was very interested in the mag and what it had to offer. I wanted to be involved, so I asked Dis if my board could be a distro site. It was actually pretty amusing what took place. I filled out the app and he told me that he was going to chat with Dam on IRC and get back to me. Once of the pre-requisites to becoming a distro site was to have read all the files and he asked me if I had. At the time there were about 65 files released and I was reading them as we chatted. I told him that I hadn't, that I was in the process of doing so, and to "tell Dam that I had read them all". A few weeks later when I made the Dam/Dis connection I felt like an idiot. It's a story that sticks out in my mind to this day when I think about the early times. I was captivated by several of the files that I read back then. Some titles that stick out in my mind as influential are: "Some Wildly Obscure Fiction", "Pity the Cynic", "Shock Value", and "Night Sounds". Some of the early writers I can recall by memory are PsI, fastjack, Loki, Doc Z., and Acid Warlock to name a few. Those files and authors helped to build the foundation that F.U.C.K. has been building on for the past several years. Beyond that, they also make a personal impact on me, my perceptions, and my thoughts. I have seen how the face of F.U.C.K. has changed considerably since those times. Files that are being released now have a totally different direction and feel to them. Many times I have contemplated whether or not this change is good, or if we are abandoning the foundation which has made F.U.C.K. what it is. Even now I am not sure, and I believe that this file is my own personal interrogation into that question. I admit that I am "guilty" of contributing to what people perceive F.U.C.K. as today. I have released my own score of files on relationships. I have used this zine as an outlet of my own angst, and cannot and will not apologize for that. However, I do feel that we, the writers for F.U.C.K., need to evaluate for our selves whether or not we are keeping the spirit of F.U.C.K. alive. F.U.C.K. has changed. I have changed. The world has changed. But when I looked at it closely I have discovered that not much is different. While I have a completely different outlook on life than I did back in those days, I can still find my true self. I am still me. I am still a cynic. I still hate 90% of this world. I still have the anger and rage that I have always had. There are still things in this world that make me want to spit in a blind fury. I am still as passionate about my beliefs as I used to be. I still have things that I love. I am still searching my soul to define my own existence. None of that has changed. I am still as dysfunctional and broken as have been for the last 8 years. Who I am hasn't changed, just the way I portray myself. In the same manner, I think that this magazine is still itself. Even though the face of F.U.C.K. is different, I feel that the writers still hold a common bond with the authors of the past. I cannot restrict the essence of what I feel F.U.C.K. is to mere words. You have to find and understand that for yourself. Now I find myself sitting in my dorm room... in college. I don't feel that I have grown out of this magazine. I think that I have grown into it. There is so much that I have yet to ponder and experience and I hope that I will still be able to use this zine as a way to express myself to the world. I realize now who I really am. I guess I am just a Fucked Up College Kid... .: illusionary :. .: :. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= = Questions, Comments, Bitches, Ideas, Rants, Death Threats, Submissions = = Mail: jericho@dimensional.com (Mail is welcomed) = =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= = To receive new issues through mail, mail jericho@dimensional.com with = = "subscribe fuck". If you do not have FTP access and would like back = = issues, send a list of any missing issues and they will be mailed. = =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= = AnonFTP FTP.DIMENSIONAL.COM/users/jericho/FUCK = = FTP.SEKURITY.ORG/pub/zines/fucked.up.college.kids = = FTP.GIGA.OR.AT/pub/hackers/zines/FUCK = = FTP.ETEXT.ORG/pub/Zines/FUCK = = WWW http://www.dimensional.com/~jericho = = http://www.reps.net/~krypt/fuck.html = = http://www.simunye.com/fuck = =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= = (c) Copyright. All files copyright by the original author. = =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=