=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= = F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K. = =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= love ---- who would have thought, that the world could be so cold. i was walking along a dark alley. the time had slipped away into the mist and all that was left was a slight bit of sanity and the urge to follow my soul. i came to a point of intersection. not knowing which way to take i flipped a coin. suddenly a man appeared from beyond a garbage can, "it's too bad the little things never mattered in the end!" he shouted and then disappeared. not realizing it, the coin feel to the ground and landed hard on tails. i looked left and saw my world below the fingertips. "this way to your grave." said an old man wearing a top hat and a frown. behind me a naughty word was spoken, "love! love!" and i turned to see myself, standing before myself in a robe of black. the man once again appeared from beyond the waste of humanity "it doesn't really matter anyway! both roads lead you to the same destiny!" fearing the man's words i turned to love and followed my soul beyond myself where i once stood. this time, life felt real, or was it the way the cold wind as it beat against my heart. i poured out onto a street where i plummeted against her. she stood there in her long black gown with her long dark hair looking as beautiful as she did the first moment i ever laid my eyes upon her. "i miss you." she said with a frown impaled across her skin. i wrapped my arms around her and took her home, took her to love. sitting down on her couch, resting her body across it's comfort, she said "thank you for being such a great friend." and my heart swooped into nothingness. i wish that my heart were a tangible thing, so that i may throw it into a pit a lava and feel it hurt. only then can i feel the amount of pain i receive from just thinking about your glory and my absence from it. i said thank you and excused myself to the bathroom. i put my hands under the sweet water emerging from the faucet and then rubbed them across my face. i looked in the mirror, water dripping from my form. "beyond what light lives greater men than i? but, in the darkness, they number in the thousands and do march about in my head." madness, that is the keyword for this life. the point at which nothing really seems and all seems at once. curling up my bleeding fist i march back into the living room which was empty to the breath. searching around i found myself in her bedroom where i saw my one true life long love laid stretched out against her stomach, resting on the bed. she was half asleep and could barely mutter "could you rub my shoulders?" nothing pleased me more than making her happy. nothing on this planet fills me with more joy than knowing she is well. i crawled onto the bed and began exercising my strength into her muscles. my cold hands caressed her warm body with ever ounce of love i could muster. and her, just laying there as if she is just getting a good massage from her best friend while quickly falling asleep. "mmmm, this is so great, don't stop." she quietly moaned. "yes, my hands can bring pleasure to any woman, and my tongue more, and the rest of me even more, but my heart and love only bring distance and solitude." i said trying to bring some ounce of understanding to her. "mmmm.. ok..." she replied, not hearing a word i spoke. once she stopped responding to my hails i rubbed up and down her back once more and then a rabbit crawl out from behind the pillows "she is just a woman!" she shouted. "she has but flesh and soul! two things you can find upon the skeleton of any one of us!" "yes," i replied "but the world just seems so empty without this one, every woman i set eyes on fails to amount up to a grain of salt next to this one true love of mine." i calmly replied. "you are such a fool!" cried a clown standing over my shoulder. "LOOK AT HER! do you think she can actually develop one ounce of feeling towards you that you have towards her? NO!" and my heart sobbed. meanwhile the lizard gardener was whispering into her ear "...love you. so the time has come to decide the fate of humanity. feel his pain which is love, and feel your pain which is life. his pain and yours, when combined, could bring you so much happiness. feel the way he makes you happy now. you could feel like this for the rest of your life, the time he would spend with you, if you would only accept him." then the whispering stopped and in a flash as she awoke and turned to me in a fright, "did you here something?" she panicked. "something about the way your tears fall to the earth?" and understanding became her. she looked at me with sad eyes and a tear rolled off her cheek. "i understand, but you have to realize i am forever alone. it doesn't matter if you are sincere or the best thing for me. all that matters is that i cannot get hurt any more. i cannot open myself up to someone, only to have them fill me with pain and suffering." she said with sad lips. "i am not like that." i responded as i stood up, "i am not like that, and you will never know what you will miss because you never want to find out the pleasure i could bring you. as for me, i will always know what i am missing. never again will i know happiness as that which i feel from just glancing upon your face, or thinking about your beauty. from now until the day i die i shall carry around with me a sad face, weighted heart and a tortured soul." i dropped a grey rose on to the bed and left the house never to return. years later, in a city far distant from the previous, i was walking along a dark alley. the time had slipped away into the mist and all that was left was a slight bit of sanity and the urge to follow my soul. i came to a point of intersection. not knowing which way to take i flipped a coin. suddenly a man appeared from beyond a garbage can, "i told you, only the foolish can be swept up by love, it leads nowhere but to a painful death filled with sorrow." i could only think about how right he was as i stared so coldly down the alley to my left. "it is time." said the old man wearing a top hat and a smile. so i began my walk down the path of death when i suddenly felt a gentle tapping on my shoulder. quickly turning around i saw myself standing before myself again. "she is waiting." i said to myself. with not a moments thought i began running as fast as possible to my right. i feel out onto a street, looking up i saw a woman stare down at me and say "are you alright?" standing up i brushed myself off and replied with a "yes." then our eyes met and she stared hard into my bones. "i have missed you." she said with a sadness that only i could understand. she kissed me with all the deep passion of love and the world feel to dust around us. we stood alone in the universe, just holding each other. my life for yours k, forever until the day i die. who would have thought, that the world could be so warm. rage-303 =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= = Questions, Comments, Bitches, Ideas, Rants, Death Threats, Submissions = = Mail: jericho@dimensional.com (Mail is welcomed) = =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= = To receive new issues through mail, mail jericho@dimensional.com with = = "subscribe fuck". If you do not have FTP access and would like back = = issues, send a list of any missing issues and they will be mailed. = =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= = AnonFTP FTP.DIMENSIONAL.COM/users/jericho/FUCK = = FTP.SEKURITY.ORG/pub/zines/fucked.up.college.kids = = FTP.GIGA.OR.AT/pub/hackers/zines/FUCK = = FTP.ETEXT.ORG/pub/Zines/FUCK = = WWW http://www.dimensional.com/~jericho = = http://www.reps.net/~krypt/fuck.html = = http://www.simunye.com/fuck = =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= = (c) Copyright. All files copyright by the original author. = =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=