GwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwD T h e G R E E N Y w o r l d D o m i n a t i o n T a s k F o r c e Presents: "The Plot" by Spanky McDougal, Sir! / Swedish Shef Ladies and Gentlemen, your comfortable, sheltered, safe little lives are about to be subjected to a rather rude awakening. The bad boys of God are a-comin' to town, and I aim to tell their story. The only thing is, us mere mortal men and women aren't meant to be privy to secrets such as these. As such, I fear for myself once it gets out that I'm instructing the masses. If I disappear, TELL ALL YOUR FRIENDS! With that in mind, read what follows and be prepared to make many copies and distribute them. The truth must be known, the way must be shown. Prepare to have your horizons broadened. . . . *******************************IN THE BEGINNING********************************* God created the world. Not the same world we know and love now, to be sure, but a world pretty much like it. The main difference was the dinosaurs walked the earth. Now, these big beasts didn't have too much use. They didn't do a whole lot, except eat and make baby dinosaurs (along with a copious amount of dinosaur shit). Still, they were there for a reason. To make fossils. Now, why would God want fossils? Easy. So people would see them and NOT believe in them. It's true--when the things were first discovered, a lot of folks thought they had to be a hoax, because God would never let a species go extinct. Therefore, it was a test of faith. Ideally, people would see the bones, tell the scientists to go to hell, and go back to church. Points for God. Now, of course, Satan wouldn't let this go unchallenged. HIS big tool in all of this was an evil, evil man named Darwin. Y'see, early on, the first guy to publish a theory of evolution was a man named Wallace. Wallace was on a first-name basis with God. He wrote a theory of evolution, but the idea was that no one would believe it. See, God's tricky! Slick! Wallace wrote a really bad book, delineating some really crackpot theories, and no one bought it (the idea or the book.) The Dark Lord's answer to this was Darwin, who just HAPPENED to be Chief Naturalist on a ship called the Beagle, which just HAPPENED to be in South America, which just HAPPENED to be where the Galapagos Islands are, which just HAPPEN to be the only place in the world where a body can SEE evolution take place. If you haven't figured it out yet, although evolution is real, WE'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT. Very important bit of dogma, it will help in the comprehension of the theory. Darwin, motivated by the stench of brimstone, went back to England. He'd had all of this dumped in his lap, but he still needed to be hit on the head to produce. This was accomplished by the sending of a copy of Wallace's book by an unknown patsy to Darwin, who read it and thought, "Hmmm. I could make a killing with this!" Once again, greed motivating evil. He wrote HIS book, containing HIS theory of evolution. The only difference between the two books is this - Wallace worked with a holy sense of naive innocence, while Darwin had the dubious benefit of the cunning of the Devil at his side. Needless to say, the corrupt Victorian age snapped up Darwin's book and made him a wealthy man. Even worse, peoplebegan to believe Darwin's theories. There were, of course, those few who didn't believe. These people exist today (like the Flat Earth Society) but are mostly thought of as crackpots and lunatics (like the Flat Earth Society). Satan, not one to hedge bets, realized that the best way to prove evolution is to advance technology. Tech means satellites to find fossils, X-Rays to look at them with, and schools to train Satan's vanguard, paleontologists. What, I ask you, is the biggest catalyst of technology? Again, simple - War. You cause war, you advance the tech. If not for WWII, we in all probability would not be in possession of the jet engine. Ergo, Mr. Naughty causes several major wars and revolutions, sparking all human technology past what The Plan calls for. People ask me, "Reverend, if God is perfect, why doesn't he know this is going to happen before hand?" Easy. He does. God, of course, is the consummate sportsman, and destiny is the ultimate sport. Ergo, he ignores his precognisance in order to even the odds. Unfortunate for some, yes, but who are we to argue the rules of the game? Anyway, a patient and trained eye can see evidence of Satan's doings in most of the wars of the past two centuries. The biggest marker is, to the point of being cliched (although that is a horrible thought) is the Holocaust. Other examples would be the use of sulfur as a gas weapon, 'ethnic cleansing,' and Lenin's persecution of the church. All of this, aside from killing the faithful and eroding the people's faith in a benevolent God, takes away most, if not all, of any kind of support that could be scientifically drummed up in favor of the creation story. That, of course, is the point. But, did I mention God is sneaky? Slick? Sly? That he is boys and girls, that he is. He has his own, secret representatives on Earth. To demonstrate this point, we must first understand that Satan's forces in the terrestrial plane are, in the main, the GRU. The GRU is the Russian military secret police, which influences the KGB, which influences the governments of the entire Warsaw pact. A delicate chain, but a deadly one. Now, who on this green earth hates the Red Bear above all others? This one's a toughie - Fidel Castro. Castro's revolution was funded by the KGB (and, presumably, the GRU). Somewhere along the line, the decision was made to withdraw funding because they didn't think the man could pull it off. Despite the fact that support was nixed at the worst possible moment, Castro did it anyway. An unbelievable coup, and one that sparked an awe-inspiring hatred between the two countries. The Cuban missile crises is evidence of this - the Russians trying to take advantage of Cuba, and the Cubans trying to steal Russian uranium (they did, by the way). Castro struck a deal with God - Cuba would do anything God said to hurt the Russians, and God would supply Cuba with financial miracles. It should be noted that this is an alliance of convenience; Castro is neither a wise nor particularly holy man. But how to hurt the Russians? We can see that the GRU is trying to suppress fossil evidence that sheds light on inaccuracies of the theory of evolution. Certain human fossils in Ethiopia reportedly were as old as the dinosaurs...and then Ethiopia disappeared behind the early Iron Curtain, shutting researchers out! The Peking Man disappeared from RED China! This is NOT a coincidence! So, obviously, Castro means to disrupt the theory of evolution. How? For a period of about forty years, there are NO especially revolutionary Soviet scientific developments, except perhaps in aeronautics. Why? All Russian theoretical scientists of any not and/or talent had been posted to what I like to call the Perchorsk Projekt - an effort to create a working prototype time machine. Research of this type has been banned by several major secret Cold War treaties, but that didn't stop everyone from trying to build an Intrusion Device (ID). Of course, only the Russians built a working model, and it doesn't work very well. Very risky business, time travel. What's important is that IT WASN'T BUILT IN RUSSIA. Why? The Wallachians. Wallachia is (was) a tiny little country on the border of Russia. It was one of the first countries annexed in the early days of the USSR. Now, Wallachia has been conquered many times in the past, but this really pissed them off. Enough is enough, they thought, what now? So, a grand tradition passed from Wallachian Ma's and Da's is the grand old sport of selling secrets. There's nothing a Wallachian loves more than getting himself posted to a high level job and then selling world class super-espionage style secrets for a pocketful of rubles. They're not in it for the money, really. No one does revenge like a Wallachian. Since these people are ethnically identical to the average Russian, the government knew it could never screen everyone who came into contact with Perchorsk. So, they moved it out of country, where a few scientists could observe the work of foreign technicians. Where? To Cuba, of course. See, the GRU didn't knowhow far along the Projekt was, and the ID teams didn't know about the plans to leave Cuba. So, in the quick pullout, all of the research and blueprints of the working prototype (the Cubans call it Domingo) were left behind. It's important to realize that the ID only goes in reverse - no trips to tomorrow. Also, you can't go any farther back than, at the least, four hundred years. I don't know for a fact, because this figure is arrived at by extrapolation. All one needs to do is look at all the things they WOULD change if they COULD, and see what they obviously haven't touched. Four hundred years. It could be four flat or four thousand, only a few people know and they aren't talking. But what to do with Domingo? Easy. Remember the uranium the Cubans got from the Russian Maldavia ICBMS? A little bit here, a little bit there, and every Russian missile goes home a few ounces lighter than it arrived. That, obviously, will become the seeds of Cuba's nuclear program. It can be easily seen that they will soon be a financial superpower (God is giving them money miracles, and when God does a miracle, he does it right), so why not a military one? Cubans from the future must be using their nukes to zip back a few million years and detonate them, airburst-style, to spread radiation over a wide area. Why? To kill the dinosaurs. Why? Because then, scientists will see that ALL the dinosaurs died within a few years of each other due to the effects of modern day nuclear weapons. This will have two possible effects - 1) Everyone will see that this is impossible, and believe that the entire theory of evolution and the whole deal with fossils was just one big prank. Test of faith passed (eventually), points for God. and - 2) The ensuing debate over what really happened will disgust the public, who will give up the entire theory of evolution as a bad job start to finish. With a little tweaking, the results are the same as 1). Either way, points for God. There is supporting evidence to all of this. For instance, why is there a trade embargo on Cuba? Because the oil companies control the government. And why don't the oil companies want Cuba to succeed? Because oil is dinosaurs and plants. If the Cubans succeed, they will not only move all the world's major oil reservoirs (all the dinosaurs will die in a different place, and the plants will be in different concentrations) but contaminate it with gamma particles. But why hasn't Cuba succeeded yet? Because indiscriminate airborne nukes would kill all the people alive then (the fossils in Ethiopia) and all the things that evolve into our current world's flora and fauna (remember, just 'cause we're not supposed to believe in evolution doesn't mean it's not true). To get around this, the Cubans have taken a represent-active sample of everybody and everything, are breeding them in huge underground caverns with ultraviolet lights to ingrain a natural radiation resistance. Later, they will all be exported back home, where they will breed and provide the basis for the fact that everything alive today is about 20X as radiation-resistant as we should be. 'Till now, no one knew why. Of course, this breeding takes time. Once the breeding programs have succeeded, our world will change drastically. Time to learn Spanish, boys and girls. ***************************************************************************** by the rev. k. colin mcroberts (spanky mcdougal, swedish shef) thanks to mike and all the guys at quarterman for helping me crystallize this idea at 2 am. it must have been hard when we all had at least a few ounces of dry lemon-lime flavored gatorade inside us. i don't know - i really don't remember much. thanks again, and if you disappear, i'll tell all our friends. BELIEVE ------------------------------[GwD Command Centers]----------------------------- Chaos (806)797-7501 | PCI (806)792-3302 GridPoint Durant (405)920-1347 | The Sprawl (806)797-0820 Federation Slayers' (806)798-8168 | Mogel-Land (215)732-3413 The Snake's Den (806)793-3779 | The Lagoon (914)638-3712 The Siege Perilous (806)762-0948 | Altered Reality (203)925-8349 Brazen's Hell (301)776-8259 | Cell Block 4 (214)612-8694 Pirate's Cove (806)795-4926 | ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /---------------\ copyright (c) 1994 by Spanky McDougal of GwD Inc. :FIGHT THE POWER: GREENY world Domination Task Force copyright (c) 1993 by Lobo : GwD : All rights reserved \---------------/ GwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwD36