GwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwD T h e G R E E N Y w o r l d D o m i n a t i o n T a s k F o r c e Presents: "The Yuletide Caper" also titled "The Twelve Days of December" also titled "And A Partridge In A Pear Tree" ________________________________________________________________________________ Miss Abigail Forthrightly Goody Two Street Okefenokee, Missouri December 14 Dearest John, I went to the door today, and the postman delivered a partridge in a pear tree. What a delightfully thoughful gift! I couldn't have been more surprised. With deepest love and affection, Abigail ________________________________________________________________________________ Miss Abigail Forthrightly Goody Two Street Okefenokee, Missouri December 15 Dearest John, Today the postman brought your very sweet gift. Just imagine, two turtle doves! I'm just delighted at your very thoughtful gift. They are just adorable. All my love, Abigail ________________________________________________________________________________ Miss Abigail Forthrightly Goody Two Street Okefenokee, Missouri December 16 Dear John, Oh! Aren't you the extravagant one. Now I really must protest. I don't deserve such generosity, three french hens! They are just darling, but I must insist, you've been too kind. Love, Abigail ________________________________________________________________________________ Miss Abigail Forthrightly Goody Two Street Okefenokee, Missouri December 17 Dear John, Today the postman delivered four calling birds. Now really, they are beautiful, but don't you think enough is enough? You're being too romantic. Affectionately, Abigail ________________________________________________________________________________ Miss Abigail Forthrightly Goody Two Street Okefenokee, Missouri December 18 Dearest John, What a surprise! Today the postman delivered five golden rings--one for every finger! You're just impossible, but I love it. Frankly, all those squawking birds were getting on my nerves. All my love, Abigail ________________________________________________________________________________ Miss Abigail Forthrightly Goody Two Street Okefenokee, Missouri December 19 Dear John, When I opened my door, there were actually six geese a laying on my front steps. So you're back to the birds, huh? Those geese are huge! Where will I ever keep them? The neighbirs are complaining and I can't sleep through the racket. Please stop. Cordially, Abigail ________________________________________________________________________________ Miss Abigail Forthrightly Goody Two Street Okefenokee, Missouri December 20 John, What's with you and those fucking birds?? 7 swans a swimming! What kind of crappy joke is this? There's bird shit all over the house and they never stop with the racket. I can't sleep at night and I'm a nervous wreck; it's not funny. SO stop with those fucking birds. Sincerely yours, Abigail ________________________________________________________________________________ Miss Abigail Forthrightly Goody Two Street Okefenokee, Missouri December 21 OK Buster, I think I prefer the birds. What the hell am I going to do with 8 maids a milking? It's not enough with all these birds and 8 maids a milking, but they had to bring those ridiculous cows!! There is shit all over the lawn, and I can't move in my own house. Just lay off me, smartass. Abigail ________________________________________________________________________________ Miss Abigail Forthrightly Goody Two Street Okefenokee, Missouri December 22 Hey Shithead, What are you? Some kind of sadist? Now there's 9 pipers piping--and Hells Bells, do they play!! They have never stopped chasing those maids since they got here yesterday morning. The cows are getting upset and they are stepping all over the screeching birds. What am I going to do? The neighbors have started a petition to evict me. You'll get yours, Abigail ________________________________________________________________________________ Miss Abigail Forthrightly Goody Two Street Okefenokee, Missouri December 23 Your Rotten Sonofabitch, Now there's 10 ladies dancing. I don't know why I even call those sluts ladies. They've been balling those pipers all night long. Now the cows can't sleep and they've got diarrhea. My living room is a river of shit. The Commissioner of Buildings has subpoened me to give cause why the building shouldn't be condemned. I'm siccing the police on you. One who means it, Abigail ________________________________________________________________________________ Miss Abigail Forthrightly Goody Two Street Okefenokee, Missouri December 24 Listen Asshole, What's with the 11 lords a leaping on those maids and ladies? Some of those broads will never walk again. Those pipers have run through the maids, and have been committing sodomy with the cows! All 23 of the birds are dead. They were trampled to death in the orgy. I hope you're satisfied, you rotten vicious swine. Your sworn enemy, Abigail ________________________________________________________________________________ Bindum, Twistum, and Gougem Attorneys At Law ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- 910 Upyurs Avenue St. Louis, Missouri December 25 John Bedeviler 85 Ornery Avenue Annoyance, Missouri Dear Sir: This is to ackonwledge your latest gift of 12 fiddlers fiddling which you have seen fit to inflict on our client, Miss Abigail Forthrightly. The destruction, of course, was total. All correspondence should come to our attention. If you should attempt to reach Miss Forthrightly at Happy Dale Sanitarium, the attendents have instructions to shoot you on sight. With this letter, please find attached a warrant for your arrest. Cordially, Bindu, Twistum, and Gougem ________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________ A friend of mine gave that to me. It has no author listed, but I thought it was damn funny. -Lobo 12/24/94 ________________________________________________________________________________ Merry Christmas and all that from GwD. So what if it's a little late? Read it again next year! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------[GwD Command Centers]----------------------------- Chaos (806)797-7501 | PCI (806)792-3302 GridPoint Durant (405)920-1347 | The Sprawl (806)797-0820 Federation Slayers' (806)798-8168 | Mogel-Land (215)732-3413 The Snake's Den (806)793-3779 | The Lagoon (914)638-3712 The Siege Perilous (806)762-0948 | Altered Reality (203)925-8349 Brazen's Hell (301)776-8259 | Cell Block 4 (214)612-8694 Pirate's Cove (806)795-4926 | ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /---------------\ copyright (c) 1994 GwD Inc. :FIGHT THE POWER: GREENY world Domination Task Force copyright (c) 1993 by Lobo : GwD : All rights reserved to Green X-Mas wreaths \---------------/ GwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwD37