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                      >> "The Storys of Le and Kurt" <<
                                by -> Aster

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        once apon a time there was a man named Remote Con Troll. mr, troll
 lived in an apartment with his roommates, Le Amp and Kurt An. they had a pet
 mouse called Serial. serial was the smartest of the four. he made sure they
 went to work in the mornings and went to sleep at night. remote, le, and
 kurt wern't to smart. le was very bright but did not know too much. he
 couldn't read or write and he could only say four words "dark" "light" "on"
 and "off". kurt was very lazy. all he did was hang around all day, therefor
 his brain rotted away to nothing at all. he only knew three words "beer"
 "dust" and "window". remote was very quiet. he did nopt say anything, for he
 did not know anything to say. so he did whatever he was told. once serial
 got alittle sarcastic and told him to cut off his fingers. remote only has
 four fingers (I told you he wasn't very smart, hye couldn't even cut off all
 his fingers). so every morning serial woke up the three roommates explained
 to them how to get dressed, while le squealed "on off on off" and kurt
 screamed "beeeeeeeeeeer!!". serial would tell them again how to get to the
 nail factory and made sure they got there. even with that they got there 20
 minutes late on the dot (the one smart thing about them was that they were
 very consistent and punctuall(if you forget that 20 mins))after work serial
 would take them by the neighbors, mand a. rin, and tang r. ine. for the rest
 of the afternoon they wood eat the oranges that mr. ine and miss. rin gave
 them, except kurt, who would demand beer. serial would shut him up by giving
 him water with brown food coloring in it. kurt was usually on his fifth or
 sixth glass before he realized it was not beer. by then it would be ten or
 eleven at night and serial would put them to bed. only once in the time that
 serial had lived with them did they all go to sleep on their opwn. every
 other time serial would whack them with the big cast-iron p[an that they
 used for pillows. their beds were guitar strings weaved with poison ivy.
 so, they all have huge bumps on their heads.

 ---

 WHY I WROTE THIS:

 1) have you ever had a creative burst? if you are stooping low enough to
    read this, prolly not.
 2) so that non-creative ppl like you would have somethng to do while
    not-creatting
 3) because i'm not creative either and had to prove it
 4) I was staring at the remote contrl to my cd player and had to write a
    story about it
 5) bob and suzy told me to (if you are stupid and don't know who bob and
    suzy are, then you do not deserve to know so I shall not tell you)
 6) here I am sitting home alone, with nothing to do
 7) what better way to waitst my time?

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     * (c) HoE publications.  HoE #179 -- written by Aster -- 1/4/98 *