'##::::'##:::'#####:::'########: VIVA LA REVOLUCION! CERDO DEL CAPITALISTA!!
  ##:::: ##::'##.. ##:: ##.....:: ===========================================
  ##:::: ##:'##:::: ##: ##::::::: THE HELOTS OF ECSTASY PRESS RELEASE #337 !!
  #########: ##:::: ##: ######::: ZIEGO VUANTAR SHALL BE MUCH VICTORIOUS!  !!
  ##.... ##: ##:::: ##: ##...:::: ===========================================
  ##:::: ##:. ##:: ##:: ##::::::: "I am Uberground"                        !!
  ##:::: ##::. #####::: ########: by -> Meenk                              !!
 ..:::::..::::.....::::........:: 12/14/98                                 !!
 !!========================================================================!!

        I am so Underground.  I belong to a secret society of elites.

        'Who?' you ask?  Like I'd tell you, it's secret.  Besides, we are
 so Underground you wouldn't know any of us anyway.  Though you'd like
 to.  I am so Underground, I am Uberground.  On the underbelly of the
 Underground, right near its crotch, though closer to its thigh there is
 a tumor.  This is the underground of the Underground.  The Uberground.
 The Uberground is comprised of those who are too elite for the
 mainstream Underground.

        The Uberground, instead of marching up to the line of
 Alternative Mainstream (the layer of freakishness between Mainstream
 and Underground) and flaunting it's 'cool' strangeness, sticks to its
 unspoken law of straying as far from the Norm as is possible.

        'How?' you ask?  That is also secret.  If I were to tell all of
 you how to achieve acceptance in the Uberground we would be alienated
 by the sudden rush of Undergrounders trying to compete with their
 stupid retard friends.  Just like when Marilyn Manson covered 'Sweet
 Dreams'.  Members of the Uberground don't feel the need to compete with
 eachother for eliteness.

        You may be asking yourself, 'Why haven't I heard of this
 Uberground before?' There is a simple answer to this.  You weren't cool
 enough.  Reading this zine, (h0e, in case your MTV attention span
 already timed out) and this article in particular, brings you one step
 closer.  I can't map out the rest of your journey to the Uberground for
 you.  You will probably die trying to reach this degree of eliteness.
 That doesn't mean you should be discouraged though.  Quitters never win
 and you don't want to be a loser, do you?

        Okay.  I lied.  You should be discouraged.  If you aren't
 Uberground already, you never will be.  We don't want you.  Go away.

 !!========================================================================!!
 !! (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS!      #337 - WRITTEN BY: MEENK - 12/14/98 !!