'##::::'##:::'#####:::'########: VIVA LA REVOLUCION! CERDO DEL CAPITALISTA!!
  ##:::: ##::'##.. ##:: ##.....:: ===========================================
  ##:::: ##:'##:::: ##: ##::::::: THE HELOTS OF ECSTASY PRESS RELEASE #402 !!
  #########: ##:::: ##: ######::: ZIEGO VUANTAR SHALL BE MUCH VICTORIOUS!  !!
  ##.... ##: ##:::: ##: ##...:::: ===========================================
  ##:::: ##:. ##:: ##:: ##::::::: "Why I Am Changing My Handle"            !!
  ##:::: ##::. #####::: ########: by -> Squinky/AIDS                       !!
 ..:::::..::::.....::::........:: 1/7/99                                   !!
 !!========================================================================!!

        Since 1991 or 1992 or 1993, one of those years, I'm not quite sure
 which, I have been known as 'Squinky'. Now, for whatever god-for-SAKEN
 reason, this handle has stuck. I want to point out that my average age
 was 14 when I picked this handle, and at the time, it was kinda cool
 that people were calling me by self-applied name, and it was funny to
 have such a basically innocuous handle, because I was such an arrogant
 dipshit on the local boards.

	However, years and years have passed since then. In that time, I
 have attempted to change my handle on multiple occasions. The first
 time, I tried to become 'Maggot Queen', which failed, so I tried a
 permutation on my original handle, which stuck a little better, but not
 so good. Well, after a while, I tried 'Mayflower/Tug-Tub', but
 absolutely *no one* liked that but me, and not a single person called
 me it. More recently, I've half-heartedly tried to go for 'Jumpin'
 Jumbaliah Joo-Joo Jugular Krazy Kobek", but not even I have the
 fortitude to make that particular handle happen.

        Sigh.

	No matter how much I tried to change my handle, whenever I would
 encounter computer people, in real life or otherwise, they would always
 say, "HI SQUINK!$!" or "HI SQUINKY!@%!@" or just "FUCK ME!@$" 

	After much debate and speculation, I think I have come to a
 conclusion as to why I was never able to replace the awful moniker, and 
 why no one would ever take a handle change seriously. It comes down to 
 the fact that the word "SQUINKY" is much catchier than anything else 
 I've tried. If I was ever to choose a new handle, I would have to 
 overcome this problem.

	Well, I think I finally have found a handle that has easy name 
 recognition and is just as catchy, if not more so, than "SQUINKY". Plus,
 it's easy to abbreviate, which seems to have been a major factor in the 
 appeal of "SQUINKY". HEY SQUINK! HEY SQUINKY! HERE BOY! HERE BOY
 HERE!

	From now on, Squinky is dead.

	You may now call me Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome.

	or "AIDS", for short.
	
	Thank you for your time. 

 !!========================================================================!!
 !! (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS!  #402, WRITTEN BY: SQUINKY/AIDS - 1/7/99 !!