[--------------------------------------------------------------------------] ooooo ooooo .oooooo. oooooooooooo HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #791 `888' `888' d8P' `Y8b `888' `8 888 888 888 888 888 "Hoe Dream" 888ooooo888 888 888 888oooo8 888 888 888 888 888 " by AnonGirl and Miasma 888 888 `88b d88' 888 o 8/22/99 o888o o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8 [--------------------------------------------------------------------------] "Hoe Dream" by AnonGirl This is the written version of a dream I had last night. There was a Con at my house called Conada. Everyone was hanging out in my basement, although the tokers had to go into the laundry room to toke, because people were being anal about the smell. I offered Quarex some tokes and he gladly accepted them, except when he got high, he turned into the Incredible Hulk, and started throwing my gray cat around. Mogel and Stiks occupied my living room, because there were wrestling specials on the illegal decoder. AltRocks was on his way to the hospital with a severed hand, because he stuck it in one of the piranha tanks, after much warning. Both tasha and caity were taking a shower, and jubjub was asleep on the dining room table. I was making grilled cheese sandwiches for everyone except the vegans, who were entitled to toast. (it was a dream) Everything was going smoothly until suddenly, people started getting killed. AIDS kept trying to lower my dog, Becky, into the big piranha tank, but somehow Becky pulled some serious counter-attacks and eventually threw AIDS into the tank. Trilobyte got electrocuted because I forgot to warn him that the basement lightswitch is broken, and sends out a constant electric current. tasha and caity somehow died in the shower, I don't know how. Then the weird shit started happening. SwissPope was listening to music with big headphones, but the headphones like, came alive, and did some funky shit to his brain. He looked like the same ol' SwissPope, but his eyes were darker, and unresponsive. Jamesy and PezMonkey decided that they were going to McDonald's for supper, and took orders from everyone. The bill came out to $251.50. TanAdept didn't notice, because he was busy playing with my cats in the attic. Night fell shortly after. Zombies began rising from the garden, and killed everyone else who hadn't been killed. I don't remember any of the zombie deaths, except for Miasma's. Instead of going directly for the brain, this zombie only decapitated him. I found myself grabbing Miasma's detached head, which was still alive, saying, "Oh god, please, find my body, please." I ran around my front yard with Miasma's head in my hands, searching for his body, to re-attach it. Suddenly, there was about fifteen cop cars in front of my house, getting ready to shoot anything that moves. I dropped Miasma's head and swiftly ran back into my house. No one was left, except for SwissPope, sitting on the couch in the basement. His face was no longer visible, because the headphones had expanded and had a strong hold on his entire head. I felt bad for him, but at the same time, I realized I had to get out of the house, because the cops were going to blow it up. My brother, his girlfriend and I ditched anyone left in my house and drove off to safety, in a Jeep Cherokee. My bro had acquired great skills in the art of getaway driving from playing the PSX game Driver, so we made it out of there in no time. That's pretty much it. Conada is the gayest name. [-----] "Sweet Dreams" by Miasma As of Friday, July 30th, 1999, I had my first experience of hoes being in my dream. Not just any hoes, but two hoes in particular, Catie and Tashy. Of course, I have dealt much with the art of storytelling and I refuse to let the story simply unravel into nothing so quickly. I will build up what they call, 'suspense'. Let me first say that I'm quite amused by my zombie head of Anon's dream. It has to mean she wants me. I mean, c'mon... she's running around with my head in her hands. It's all sexual. It always is. Please, sit down, tell me your problems. Did you father sexually abuse you when you were three? How did that make you feel? Excuse me for a moment, I need to smoke my pipe to complete the effect. Oh yes, My dream. In fact, it fits in well with Anon's dream. We'll stick me in right in between Tashy and Caity in the shower. Not literally, but, well, literally enough. Prior to this part of the dream, I had been examining this immaculate mansion, strewn over from head to toe with the deepest shade of blue and the richest shade of gold. The time is close to 3am. The sky is the same shade of blue as parts of the mansion, mixed with black in a cloud layer in photoshop 5.0. After examining the residence, I was transported into a shower that looked remarkably familiar to the one of my own home. After I step out of the shower on to the towel which lies on top of the pink rounded tile, I grabbed a towel from the rack and dried myself off. I wrapped the towel around my waist, and then secured it by tucking the corner of the outside layer in the inside layer. I stepped outside of the bathroom, exposing my dampened skin to the cooler temperatures of the outside air. The hair on my body stood on end like a poached salmon in an afghanistan dilido factory. I turned left slightly and walked down the cooridor into my room. I sat down on my bed, which was of course a decent facsimilie of my own bed and was not surprised to see Caity sitting to the left of me and Tashy to the right of me. Tashy was extremely quiet, with only her simple grin fixed on her face. I guess some things stay in constant in the unconscious. Caity on the other hand was quite loquacious. So loquacious, in fact, that I felt she liked to use her mouth. She was slyly, yet noticeably, staring at the bulge which had accumulated beneath the towel. I'll take away slightly from the mood here, as to tell you that this dream lasted about .3 seconds in realtime. In dream time, I believe it lasted about five. Right, my crotch. She was staring at it, and as a result, I think I said something to her. The words, even though they would add to the effect of drama here, are of no importance. I could have said "My, those speckled-goose eggs sure are the cat's pajama's." I didn't. But I could have. All would be the same. She might have said something to me in return. Again, I don't believe it was of any importance. It could have been, "Damn, I'd love to make sweet love to you while tearing your body apart with a meat cleaver." I don't think it was. But again, it could have. It would make no difference. For all intensitive purposes, she said "I like my chickens with nipples but no lips." I leaned back on my bed, my back was fully against the quilted sheets. She took her hand and untucked the towel. She removed one layer and then the other, exposing what one might call a one-eyed snake. I do not refer to it in this fashion. It is my penis, an extension of myself. Caity was surprised by my manhood. At least she didn't say, "My, you're short!" like she said when she first saw me at the con. I'm not sure how she was surprised, but I think it was in a good way. Unfortunately, my dream ends here. There is no sex, there is no dancing circus bears, there is no fun. It just ends. Yes, Tashy barely played a role, but her presence must have been there for some reason. I think the reason behind this dream was the fact that I haven't masturbated in about three weeks at this point. The body I believe needs to do something with the fluid in the seminal vacules. No liquid escaped from my seminal vacules during this dream, however. Nor did a soupy mixture of the stuff that contains the blueprint for half a human being. Pity. [--------------------------------------------------------------------------] [ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #791-BY: ANONGIRL AND MIASMA - 8/22/99 ]