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   ooooo   ooooo  .oooooo.  oooooooooooo       HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #845
   `888'   `888' d8P'  `Y8b `888'     `8
    888     888 888      888 888                       "Dear"
    888ooooo888 888      888 888oooo8
    888     888 888      888 888    "               by Phairgirl
    888     888 `88b    d88' 888       o               9/24/99
   o888o   o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8
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        Dear.

        You expected the silly, stupid side that everyone else sees.  You
 expected the smiles and laughter that light up tired faces.  You expected
 the utterances that shock and appall the masses one after another.  You
 expected the cute, the ugly, the witty, and the absurd.

        My blunt edge drew you in.  My mystery captivated you.  My hook was
 willingly met on the other end, and I took full advantage.  I amused, I
 bewildered, I took downhill curves and twisted them uphill.  And when it
 was all over, I was still there, with you.

        I gave in too much.  You learned secrets I don't share even with
 myself. You fumbled in my maze, my deranged mind beginning to scare you.
 My internal havoc wrenched you right along with it, battering and scarring
 your innocent soul.  My picture changed; there was no more beauty.

        Dear, please forgive me for being this way.  Please stop running
 away, frightened and confused.  I've been alone inside for longer than I
 know, but somehow, you need to reach me.

        I'm sorry that I scare you.  I'm sorry I'm not simple, or likeable,
 or stable.  I'm sorry I wasn't the girl of your dreams, the realization of
 your fantasy, the truth in your reality.  I am sick.  But I would love your
 help.

        Love your help...

        Dear.

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 [ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #845 - WRITTEN BY: PHAIRGIRL - 9/24/99 ]