,... $$$$ $$$$T""P$$$ba, ,gd&P""T&bg. ,gd&P""T&bg. ggggggggggg $$$$ $$$$$b d$$$$ $$$$b d$$$$ $$$$$b ggggggggggg """"""""""" $$$$ $$$$$$ $$$$$ $$$$$ $$$$$bxxP&$$&P """"""""""" $$$$ $$$$$$ T$$$$ $$$$P T$$$$ $$$"""""" " """" $$$$$$ "T&$bxxd$&P" "T&$bxx$$$$$' " """"""$$$ """ """""" """ ggg "Spot's Big Adventure" ggg $$$ by -> Captain Bovine $$$ $$$ $$$ $$$ [ HOE E-Zine #948 -- 12/08/99 -- http://www.hoe.nu ] .,$$$ `"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""' Spot groaned as he rolled over to answer his ringing phone. Who could be calling at this hour?, he thought as he glanced at the digital clock sitting on his horribly ugly beatnik night table. "Hello," he said in his monotone voice, not really caring who it was on the other end. Probably AT&T again, he thought gloomily. "Good morning sir," said a chipper voice on the other end. Spot groaned again. He knew this voice too well. "I'm calling on behalf of AT&T, and would like to inform you about our new long distance pricing plans. May I ask how much you spend on long distance calls monthly?" "One day I'll kill you," said Spot in a matter of fact kind of voice. "Very good sir," the voice said. "Did you know that you can get all your long distance calls for a mere twelve cents a minutes if you switch over to AT&T..." the voice droned on, not frazzled by the death threat one bit. Spot suspected that it was a common thing for them to hear. "No really," Spot said, cutting the voice off mid-way through what it had been saying. "I will kill you one day." "Very good sir, but did you know that our long distance plans are the best around..." the voice continued on. Spot listened to the voice for two hours. As much as he hated it when AT&T would call him, he didn't want to hurt the voice's feelings by hanging up, or telling the voice the truth, and that he never made any long distance calls. None of his friends had phones, actually. They had sold them for crack money months ago. Spot grunted politely to the voice before hanging up. He wasn't sure what the grunt meant, but so far the voice had called back every time because of it, and Spot didn't want to break tradition. Laying down again, Spot focused on going back to sleep. He had just slipped into a dream about playing with his rubix cube, when the phone rang again. How odd, Spot thought as he reached for the phone. They usually wait at least an hour before calling back. As soon as he picked up the phone, he knew the person on the other end of the phone was Hysterical. What would I ever do without call display, he thought. "Oh Spot!" Mrs. Hysterical practically screamed at him as soon as he picked up the phone. Her voice was frantic and whiney. She almost sounded like she was on the verge of hysteria. "It's Jo-Jo! He's run away to join the circus!" Spot said nothing at first. His mind wandered. He had not believed his psychic when she told him that he was about to go off on a long adventure, yet now it felt almost inevitable. Cursing himself for not playing the lottery numbers she had given him, he said into the phone "Okay. I'll be right over." This looked like it will be an interesting birthday after all, he thought as he climbed out of bed. Very interesting indeed. [--------------------------------------------------------------------------] [ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #948, BY CAPTAIN BOVINE - 12/08/99 ]