s$ $$ .d""b. .d""b. HOE E'ZINE #1022 [-- $$""b. $$ $$ $$ $$ -- ------------------------------------------- --] $$ $$ $$ $$ $$ss$$ "True Love" $$ $$ $$ $$ $$ by, Kreid $$ $$ $$ $$ $$ $$ 2/11/00 [-- $$ $$ $$ $$ $$ $$ -- ------------------------------------------- --] $$ $$ "TssT" "TssT" Chapter One Jamie and I were all alone in her apartment, presumably getting ready to fuck. We had been doing this, whenever I felt the need, for many years. Jamie was a hooker. I was just a guy who couldn't get himself a woman in any honorable way. The fact is, I detest most women to a degree that renders me incapable of courting them. Regardless of my misogynist curse, Jamie and I were very close friends. I took off my belt and she looked at me, full of lust. Her eyes avoided my face and lingered on my arms. Jamie adores my arms. I took my belt in both hands and wrapped it around her calf, using it as a tourniquet. After smacking and stroking at the stubborn channels of Jamie's ankle, I sunk the needle into a cooperating vein. When Jamie feels the prick of the needle, she smiles, but as I drive it into her vein, she still feels the pain. I love seeing her in pain. "Aah! It hurts," she says. "Be careful." "The needle gets dull with age," I say, reassuring her with the truth. Of course, by the time these words escape my lips, the pain is gone. Jamie watches my hands as I pull the plunger back. The eager blood that fills the chamber assures that I've made a direct hit. This tiny cloud of blood is the first to mix with the heroin solution before I send it all back home into Jamie's ankle. She always looks at me at first as if it's not going to be enough. It makes me smile to see her like this. Thoughts of love fill my head as I pull her needle out and hold the cotton tight against the hole I've made in her skin. I massage her ankle, helping the drug make its way back to her heart, waiting to hear it as it hits her brain. It happens, just as always, just as beautifully. "Oh God, oh my God. Oh!" Jamie cries in an understated and orgasmic tone, then grabs my face and presses it against hers. It makes me crazy, every time she does this. It makes me feel loved. Despite her curse, the hatred she feels for her own job, I know Jamie wants me to fuck her. I take my time placing the cap back on her syringe and rolling the latex condom onto my dick. God, I would do anything to have been born in simpler times. I push her bare legs apart and we fuck. It is hard and quick. I spare her the prolonging of the sex act that ordinary women demand of me. Jamie understands the difference between pleasure and suffering. She also understands that the next time that I fuck her, it will be something completely different, and it will last much longer. Or maybe I'll just tell her to suck my dick. The thought of it almost sends me reeling with laughter. Chapter Two For minutes after I come, my eyes penetrate hers. She is content and distant. I'm overcome with the urge to join her. So just like always, I throw the condom out the window and cook myself a hit, racing against the sadness I feel after fucking this woman. Remembering that I'm paying cash for my time spent with Jamie, I feel filthy. I detest commerce even more than I detest women. I look in Jamie's eyes and wonder if I'm just using her. Her eyes don't answer. Her eyes make me smile. I can't help it. I feel loved. I'm so sure that she loves me, even when she's high. And I love her too. And then I cancel it all with a shot that goes straight to my head. Ah. I feel like I've lost fifty pounds. Still, I can't stand up, or maybe I just don't want to; it's hard to tell. Jamie kisses my wound with pressure and without suction. She holds her face on my arm for god-knows how long before crawling up my chest and joining me in a kiss. She grabs my hand and drags it across her body. When she lets go, I continue tracing her figure. Then she uses her hand to massage my body, giving special attention to my dick and balls, trying to summon the dormant demons contained therein. No rest for the wicked. I don't mind so much. As soon as I can move again I crawl on top of her and give her what I think she wants. Sex feels great on heroin, but it takes an immense amount of effort and an impossible amount of concentration. When I finish, I feel a little sobered by it. The pleasure is gone, but no matter. The suffering will not be back for a long while. [-------------------------------------------------------------------------] [ (c) HOE E'ZINE -- http://www.hoe.nu HOE #1022, BY KREID - 02/11/00 ]