$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$ HOLY TEMPLE of MASS CONSUMPTION $$$TONYA$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$S$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$ *N*E*W*S* $$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$SEX$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$ Issue #29: Quentin Tarentino is God $$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ Holy Temple of Mass Consumption slack@ncsu.edu PO Box 30904 BBS: (919) 954-5028 Raleigh, NC 27622-0904 ------------------------------------- NOW AVAILABLE IN BOOKSTORES EVERYWHERE: REVELATION X: THE "BOB" APOCRYPHON Hidden Teachings and Deuterocanonical Texts of J.R. "Bob" Dobbs The Church of the SubGenius: salvation, or salivation? A joke disguised as a religion? Or an actual, secretive religion, *disguised* as a joke disguised as a religion? Or, an incredibly complex joke, described as an *extremely ambiguous* religion, *disguised* as a joke disguised as a religion? "Bob" is back! Finally, the long-awaited sequel to the classic _The Book of the SubGenius_ (1987) is here in the form of REVELATION X: THE "BOB" APOCRYPHON, Hidden Teachings and Deuterocanonical Texts of J.R. "Bob" Dobbs (Fireside Books; A Simon & Schuster Trade Paperback Original; December 16, 1994; $14.95). A new and even more radical, twisted, and thought-provoking journey into the alternate universe of "Bob", REVELATION X broadens the satire of cults, religious extremism, and conspiracy theories promulgated by the now notorious SubGenius Foundation. To aid in the SubGenius quest for Slack (i.e. freedom from the Conspiracy of the "Normals"), REVELATION X combines science fiction, spectactular religious imagery, and ironic text to amuse, offend, and edify readers with such information as: - the manifestations of "Bob" - the gospel of "Bob's" wife, Connie Dobbs - unanswered mysteries of Dobbs' prophecy - the essentials for survival in the End Times - things to think and know - facts about the Beforelife (Heaven and Hell guidebooks) - the dark side of Dobbs Either the gratest general satire of pure human stupidity and greed ever created, or a self-help book from hell, REVELATION X presents a previously hidden side of SubGenius avatar J.R. "Bob" Dobbs that is simultaneously enlightening, inspiring, and deeply disturbing. "Bob" teaches about the Conspiracy, the mega-conspiracy that controls every normal human being, and reveals how the SubGeniuses--who are not normal and probably not even human--have been victimized. While the Conspiracy aims to rob the SubGeniuses of their inherent Slack, Dobbs is here to inspire the abnormals, mutants, and those SubGeniuses who must daily pass for normal to poison the great Beast of the Conspiracy from the inside. According to the book's Sacred Scribe, Reverend Ivan Stang: "REVELATION X is darker, deeper, more detailed, louder, and funnier than _The Books of the SubGenius_. It draws you into the SubGenius universe, seductively turns you into a cult zombie, but then abruptly deprograms you and leaves you feeling like an idiot, but thanking "Bob" for saving you from yourself." Compiled by Stang and designed by Paul Mavrides, REVELATION X also features work from a host of artists and writers, including Hal Robins, Robert Williams, Winston Smith, John Shirley ("The Crow"), Gilbert Shelton (Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers), Mark Mothersbaugh (Devo), and Nancy Collins (Sunglasses After Dark). With its startling illustrations and an extensive appendix of epistles from apostles of the SubGenius Church, REVELATION X is the most intoxicating and mesmerizing portrait yet of the infamous Church and its elusive leader "Bob" Dobbs. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Klinton Haiku billy beer was bad back from vacation but doesn't compare with ready to do some yard work roger's new album and find a crashed plane _TV_Nation_ Poll: 10% of Americans would pay $5.00 to see Orrin Hatch fight a big, mean dog on pay TV. 86% would root for the dog. $+$+$+$+$+$+$+$+$+$+$+$+$+$+$+$+$+$+$+$+$+$+$+$+$+$+$+$+$+$+$+$+$+$+$+$+$+$+$+$ Natural Born Comics *** A-Bomb #4 - A bit short on overall eroticism compared to earlier issues, and a bit more of the hardcore/violent topics. Also, I thought that the "Tropical Punch" story took up quite a bit of space, even though its a fairly good story, it just didn't feel right alongside the others. If anything, the single-page artworks carried this issue. Venus Comics. *** Alice Cooper: The Last Temptation #1 - In an eerie comic reminiscent of "Welcome To My Nightmare", Alice Cooper is a demonic theatre announcer who tries to tempt a young boy to join him by showing him a series of scary and seductive stories. Good horror comic, but it smacks of corporate product-tie-ins. Marvel Comics. *** Alice Cooper: The Last Temptation #2 - The evil theatre manager continues to taunt Steven the next day, Halloween, at school. The conversation goes on with offers to join the demonic troupe, as different people are temporarily taken over to continue the offer. Good story, and it nicely captures Alice Cooper's on-stage persona and general creepiness. Marvel Comics. ** Beavis & Butthead #7 - The boys are sent to summer camp for troubled kids as punishment for peeping at Mr. Anderson's niece. A bit slower, and not as sickeningly outrageous as most in this series. Marvel Comics *** Beavis & Butthead #8 - After landing on one of those sex-dating TV shows, they proceed to completely blow it on their test dates, then get completely humiliated on national TV. Marvel Comics. *** Beavis & Butthead #9 - After becoming super heroes, the boys go on a mayhem spree. Fun stuff, and lots of little hidden details in the comics. Easily up to par with the TV series. Marvel Comics **** Big Mouth #4 - More cartoons by Pat Moriarty, from stories by Bukowski, Eichhorn, Henry Rollins, Mike Diana, and others. As usual, Pat draws them in the style of the artist who supplies the story. Its a nice blend of pure experience, history, philosophy, and fun. Of note is the story on Mike Diana's censorship by Florida puritans. Fantagraphics Books **** Bondage Fairies #5 - Possibly the most explicit sex and raw violence in a single manga-style comic ever. After being tortured by the sex drug, Pfil gives in to the mutilated male slave. The tables are turned as the slave turns on his masters, kills one, sets Pfil free, then shackles and rapes the other. Great hidden John Wayne Bobbitt joke. Venus Comics. *** Bondage Fairies #6 - Pfil escapes, but Marcia cuts off her own hand to seek vengeance. In a final show-down, Marcia is killed and Pfil is rescued and treated. This looks like the end of this whole story. Venus Comics. *** Buck Godot #3 - The riot ends over the Winslow, an indestructible, immortal, but stupid reptile that is an important component of three-quarters of the galaxy's religions. Naturally, wars break out as everyone tries to steal it for their own. Meanwhile, Buck goes on a high-speed chase for terrorist kidnappers. Palliard Press. *** Buck Godot #4 - After the disappearance of the Winslow, multiple alien races all wage war on the humans. Buck is hired by the chief of security, who makes a number of puzzling discoveries. It is discovered that the source of the loss of sexual desire is a weapon virus, which is designed to wipe out all of mankind. In order to buy time, they are forced to fake the destruction of the human embassy in order to calm down the warring races. A real strange roller-coaster of a ride. Palliard Press. *** The CFD Book of Lingerie - Although it doesn't have any characters recognizable as the "Dawn" character, this is a bunch of well-endowed women in various poses and fetish gear, modeling lots of variations-on-a- theme lingerie, done by different artists. CreativeForce Designs. *** Crap #5 - This issue tackles discrimination against women in the workplace, and how they are often paid less than men for doing the same work. Claire get disgusted with her job and quits to do her own artwork. Plus, a great piece on the sheeplike masses who accept corporate "mass culture" drivel and never think for themselves. by J.R. Williams. Fantagraphics Books. ***** Devil Chef #1 - The worst chef in the world, he responds to complaints with rudeness, extortion, and flaming destruction. Blasphemous, sadistic, and demonic, he gets his kicks by torturing restaurant patrons and anyone else who gets in his way. You probably have one in your town. Dark Horse. **** Flaming Carrot #31 - After a much too long absence, Bob Burden returns with more adventures. In this one, Flaming Carrot teams up with Herbie to go back in time and prove that Shakespeare had help- and it turns out to be Buddy Hackett. Also, Bob is coming out with a line of book-like text comics, with few illustrations but lots of reading. The first should be ready now. FC by Dark Horse Comics, write to Bob Burden at PO Box 467251, Atlanta, GA 31146 - First issue of VERSION-A comics available for $5. **** Galaxias #3 - The Giger/Aliens/Hustler space adventure continues. The alien queen uses a pleasure drug to trick the humans into copulating with strange aliens, which lands her in trouble, and a pair of humans escape. The Galaxias ship, armed with information taken from the alien ship, fire upon it, stranding them both together in the strange, dead old colony called "Terra". Besides gratuitous sex, there's a story here too. Rip Off Press. **** Grit Bath #3 - Very strange, disturbing tales involving mutilation, death, innocence, and terror. Definitely not for the squeamish, this is a collection of various stories and strips, some of the serialized, that explore the darker, more psychological aspects of fear, guilt and terror. Drawn by Renee French and others. Fantagraphics Books. *** Hate #16 - Buddy and Lisa go on a two-week vacation back to Buddy's parents in New Jersey. Neurotic parents, irritating neighbors, and generally bad karma depress them, but still they consider staying instead of going back to Seattle. This is a good Generation-X point of view that brings up the possibility that maybe its the *rest* of the world that's more fucked-up than the chronic under-achievers. Fantagraphics Books. *** Instant Piano #1 - A fairly thick mixture of comics by Evan Dorkin, Kyle Baker, Mark Badger, Robbie Busch, and Stephen Destefano. Very uneven; some of it doesn't work at all, some is great. I particularly liked the cynical strips by Dorkin, plus an extra Milk and Cheese. Dark Horse Comics. ***** Jim vol. 2 #3 - More strange dreams and dark visions from Jim Woodring. One involves him, in person, at a party and how a woman tricks him to swim across a river to steal a raft. But, of course, the real "star" of the comic is the adventures of Frank. This issue has two of them - one is a full-color with all the strange flying objects, and the other is a gross black-and-white where Manhog reaps yet more rewards his stupidity. Fantagraphics Books. **** konny and czu #1 - More stories of the pair of galactic con-artists from Matt Howarth. There's nothing even remotely human in it. Konny is captured by a terrorist gang (Clintonese for tax protest group), and Czu enlists the help of an old friend to rescue him, although this old friend turns out to be the chief of police. Antarctic Press. *** Last Gasp #1 - Anthology of bizarreness even a bit beyond most of the ones listed here. Includes "Tyrannosaurus Tex" by Harold Robins, "Blummy" by Steven Cerio, which is very reminiscent of Mike Diana's style, "AIDS Fucks With Your Mind" by Mike Shafer, and many, many others. Much like a "bizarre mind-fuck" version of Negative Burn. Last Gasp Comics. **** Meatcake #3 - More stories by Dame Darcy, drawn with those elaborate little frames around all the comic panels. The seemingly innocent and whimsical style of her drawings stand in sharp contrast to the strange, dark, and often cruel stories. Great stuff. Fantagraphics Books. **** Naughty Bits #13 - An old friend from high school joins the company, but Bitchy Bitch now has to put up with flipped-out hyper-religious types who go crazy when they find out her friend is gay. Plus, lots more on just getting along as a drone in a corporate wasteland. Fantagraphics Books. ***** Naughty Bits #14 - Office politics take off over Bitchy's friend, and when she admits to being gay, the hyper-religious turn militant, spewing hatred and propoganda. This is one of the best displays of the ignorant and hateful mentality of the Christian "Right" I've seen in a while. Caught in the middle, Bitchy Bitch overcomes her own fears and prejudices of gay people, but the whole situation causes her friend to quit. Fantagraphics Books. *** Negative Burn #12 - Another episode of the Twilight People, Mr. Mamoulian, Classics Desecrated, and a text chapter from the Micra series are the high points of this issue. Caliber Press **** Negative Burn #14 - Lots of regular serials and new stories, and all of them are good. This has a one-page Flaming Carrot written story, with a picture, plus another episode of Boneshaker, more Classics Desecrated, Mr. Mamoulian, and a great new one- The Chicken That Knew, Like, Everything. I liked everything in this issue. Caliber Press. *** No Hope #6 - by Jeff Levine, this is a series of short strips about another splinter group of Generation X, that is, those people who have managed to get a halfway-decent job, but find themselves locked into a joyless and boring grind. Real depressing, but all too familiar. Slave Labor Graphics. *** normalman-Megaton Man special #1 - A somewhat extended satire/criticism of the whole superhero commercialized comic book scene, normalman and Megaton Man team up to find a company to sell out to. The most interesting parts, however, are an appearance by Flaming Carrot, drawn by Bob Burden, and the Beanworld by Larry Marder, plus cameos by lots of other artists. Image. ***** Nurture the Devil #2 - More of the dark, slimy, and terrifying cartoons exploring a wide range of human fears and perversions. Its a strange place where every human interaction has a demented and disturbed element, and the cartoons draw you in to feel every bit of it. Horrifying but compelling at the same time. Fantagraphics Books. *** Post Brothers #39 - Russell Post is disturbed at his new deranged nightclub by a wizard out for revenge; meanwhile Ron Post shows up at the studio needing help from a computer virus. Caroline finds out that it isn't the real Ron, but a digital virus that is also after Russell. The real Ron shows up, and the fun begins. AEON. *** Pressed Tongue #2 - More strangeness in the apartments- the super finds out that only baby Todd's shit has the ability to cure wounds, the moralists neighbors wage war on comics, but cook and eat their dead child, and Simon and his girlfriend celebrate an anniversary. Disgusting and fun at the same time. Fantagraphics Books. *** Real Stuff #19 - More of Dennis Eichhorn's adventures. Hawaiian cops ripping off stashes, the return of Wild Man Fischer, irrational hateful fundamentalists, bad cocaine trips, and more. Artwork by Fiona Smyth, Renee French, J.R. Williams, R.L. Crabb, and more. Fantagraphics Books. * Ren & Stimpy #22 - Bedtime Stories - They seem to be seriously running out of steam with story ideas. This is just a bunch of Ren&Stimpy-ized nursery tales, recycled characters, and lame jokes. Not very good and not original at all. Marvel Comics *** Ren & Stimpy #24 - Stimpy goes nut trying to gather enough Gritty Kitty boxtops to get a new litter box, and makes Ren miserable in the process. Plus, Stimpy tries to get into the world records book, fails at every event, but wins the most stupidest thing alive award. Marvel Comics. *** Ren & Stimpy #25 - When Stimpy rips up all the furniture, Ren sends him to obedience school, but he comes back as a sophisticated but boring snob. Mr. Horse turns him back into his stupid self. Plus, Ren is mutated into a Godzilla-like giant. Marvel Comics. ** Ren & Stimpy #26 - There might be a story buried somewhere in here among all the superhero product endorsement ads. Whenever they have writer's block, they start using old cliches as subjects; this one is irritating things that kids do on car trips, like asking "Are We There Yet" incessantly. Things barely get going after that. More unimaginative stuff from Marvel Comics. *** Ren & Stimpy Show Special #3 - This is a Commander Hoek and Stimpy story that contains not only their usual antics, but time travel and a story line that the reader determines, by going back and forth to different sections depending on your choice. Nicely done, and fun. Marvel Comics. *** Savage Henry Vol. 1 No. 2 - Henry meets up with the techno musician Moby in a dream. They have lots of fun times, before they figure out that they are both in a single dream, and that someone is manipulating them. By doing so, they spoil a Dream Merchant's plans. Iconografix. *** The Tick - Karma Tornado #5 - The Tick joins the Leage of Justly Compensated Super Heroes, who demand payments for doing Good, and they plan on using the Tick to extort money for them. When they almost beat up Arthur, the Tick wipes them out. New England Comics Press. *** The Tick - Karma Tornado #6 - The Tick becomes the target of self-righteous windbag politicians who blame superheroes for all of the countries problems. Actually is the supervillian, the Spin Doctor who is controlling the media for his own purposes. The Tick fights, and wins. New England Comics Press. *** Underwater #1 - This new series by Chester Brown starts off with a pair of twin girls being born and taken home. Whats odd is the whole thing is from one of the babies point of view, with all of the dialog being complete gibberish, with a word understood here and there. Plus Chester's panel-to-page ratio is getting better. It'll be interesting to see where this one goes. Drawn and Quarterly. *** Whot Not #4 - More stories running the gamut between cynical, biting satire and puerile silliness. This history of the development (and impact) of TV, another strange installment of "Americaville", and more. A healthy dose of disturbing strangeness throughout. Fantagraphics Books. **** Peter Kuper's Wild Life #2 - Where the first issue dealt with the angst of teenage sex (or lack thereof), this one is about his drug experiences while growing up. Its a real honest look at adolescent drug use which is, overall, a fun and enlightening experience, unlike DARE bullshit nightmare propganda. Of course, there's the tense times with the law, and the bad trips, but overall its bong-a-thons that lots of people can identify with. A fun, and different, way of looking at growing up. Plus, a couple of other neat, smaller cartoons. Fantagraphics Books *** XXXenophile presents #3: Utopia Unlimited 1 - Definitely not short of orgies and kinky sex, but very little story to hold it together. An undersexed spaceship officer who must report on unauthorized sexual encounters among the crew is turned on by a crew that is into nearly everything. Palliard Press. v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v ZINES and THINGS from the depths of the SACRED PO BOX: Anticryptographa 797 - This is a collection of very dense chaotic artwork of the Whores of Goddess Scientists (WOGSS), which is an "anarcho-gnostic- Thelemic-Psychick-Scientists". This "alien art anticodebook" is a collection of more wild clip-art from various and sundry mystical traditions than I've ever seen together in one place, intersperced among various codewords and strange texts. Every bit as chaotic and engaging as the random artwork surround pages in the Book of the SubGenius, it is designed to destroy the current stupid & corrupt cults- which is perhaps the most worthy goal of all. (sample page & ad follows) Available in 7 sets of 3 double-sided pages for $2.31/set or all for $13.31. Not for the weak-willed. Rev. Adtrian Cain, 1800 Market St. #47, San Francisco, CA 94102 Asi-9 Comics - black and white comic books, with a story or two of text in each of them. Strange and silly, but not too far over the edge. Artwork is actually quite good for such small books (25-30 pages). No price listed. ASI-9, 960 Taft Ave. #3, Atlanta, GA 30309 Barefoot and Pregnant - #2 and #3 - a BIG THANKS to Dave Mitchell for turning me on to his comics at DragonCon - This comic is about two backwoods girls, Barefoot and Pregant (who is knocked up, but that doesn't stop her from partying as hard as she can) who like fast cars, hard drinking, bad country music, and other redneck trash culture. Eerily authentic depiction of some *real* people I've seen. About as politically incorrect as you can get, it takes southern-bashing to its probably deserved and fun conclusion. $1 each from Kill City Graphics, PO Box 5094, Winter Park, FL 32793-5094 Battle Cry Sounding - and other various titles from Aggressive Christianity Missions Training Corp - Although this sounds like a military organization, and the people in it call themselves "generals", they do at least disclaim the use of force. These are all newsprint-style papers full of various and somewhat predictable fundamentalist rants, but they are one HELLUVA GREAT source of the best clip-art I've seen in quite a while. They're into the whole fire and brimstone routine, and some of their material against the evil rock-n-roll, backward masking, porno, etc., matches the hysterical best of other groups. For a big package of several newspapers, write a convincing note to: ACMTC, PO Box 90, Berino, NM 88024 Boredom Inc - Merlin and Thanatos have put out another sort-of-newsletterish kind of single-sheet publication, folded in impossible ways. For a single, big sheet, there's a lot on it. Both sides are covered with art, short stories, articles with varying degrees of meaning, etc. Plus, what's been happening lately with Bordom Inc. Issue #5 has articles on Ninja techniques for breaking auto glass, Elvis, long-distance relationships, and the creation of the universe. Free, send a stamp or sase to help them out: Boredom Inc., 3479 West 7480 South, West Jordan, UT 84084 Brinke Stevens Newsletter - Summer 1994 - Look for her in Femme Fatales or Scream Queen Illustrated magazine. In addition to crossing the country for comic stores and conventions, she will be doing an Elvira-like show for Showtime. Laser disc versions of The Haunting Fear, Acting on Impulse, and Teenage Exorcist are now available. Plus, of course, her comic book, Brinke of Eternity. Plus, lots of posters, pictures, and videos are available from the newsletter. Brinke Stevens Fan Club, 8033 Sunset Blvd #556, Hollywood, CA 90046 Central Carolina Naturists Newsletter - This is an organization of people who hold a variety of clothing-optional parties and beach events in and around the NC area. They are discreet, don't have a lot of rules, and are very tolerant and courteous. One of the biggest things is that they can comfortably separate nudity from sexual intent, something that few people can easily do in this culture. Membership is $15/year- Central Carolina Naturists, PO Box 98102, Raleigh, NC 27624-8012 ccnat@nando.net Dream Scene Magazine - Spring 1994 - This is a collection of short descriptions of people's dreams, with submissions encouraged. There's lots of the sorts of stream-of-consciousness stories, with ever-mutating circumstances, plus lots of drawings and images. I'm going to start keeping a notepad by my bed- I've had some dreams to match some of these, and these are fun to read also. $3/issue, four for $11; contributors get the next issue free with 3 stamps to cover postage. 38 Rossi Ave., Suite Number One, San Francisco, CA 94118-4218 DystOpinion #18 by Wangifesto Press - They do lots of reviews of the latest independently-produced music, much of it on 7" vinyl. They aren't afraid to tell you when a band is good or not, clones, copycats, or original. Most of their musical tastes seem to run toward the grunge/heavier rock with a bit of alternative, although they do seem to be fair to bands they aren't into. Plus, they also review zines, demos, books, comics, or other things that they find interesting. This makes a nice complement to the music listings in FS5. No price listed in this issue, but at least send some stamps to: Wangifesto Press, PO Box 45622, Seattle, WA 98145-0622 Eat Or Die #5 - Slack-filled collages of cultural, social, and technical icons and assorted interesting and/or confusing flotsam. Plus, some neat cartoons on The Museum Murders and Birdie the Cat, and occasional articles. Overall, lots of fun, crazy stuff, and definitely recommended. Send $2 to: Eat or Die, 230 Avenue B, Apartment 4, Bayonne, NJ 07002 *Enter Title Here* vol 3 #4 - Newsletter by Greg Jarvela with short stories, an interview with a vampyre *before the movie*, 50 tasteless things to do on an elevator, reviews of strange and offbeat, but worthy movies, music and zine reviews. Very similar to HToMC in terms of content and style. $1 from Greg Jarvela, PO Box 14, Vienna, OH 44473. Ephemera Buttons - There's lots of people out there who make buttons, but few who make such a large, funny and hard-hitting collection as this. Tons of attitude oozes out in buttons like "Please take a number and go fuck yourself." "Obscenity is whatever gives a judge an erection", "Nothing Political is Correct", "I voted for the Dead Elvis stamp". There's something here to piss off nearly any proponent of any sort of status quo, and there's lots of great ones. Most of these are also available as round or rectangular refrigerator magnets. The catalog alone is great reading, and can be had for 4 29 cent stamps from: PO Box 490, Phoenix, OR 97535 (503) 535-4195 FACTSHEET 5 issue #53 - Absolutely required reading. Over 1400 reviews of everything from zines of all descriptions, to music, comics, etc. If its self-published, its probably listed here, and there's something to interest absolutely any social, political, religious, etc. mindset. Enough listings to keep the hardcore veterans interesting, with lots of instructions and articles on how to produce your own, plus how zines are being noticed by the "mainstream" culture. Look for it in the better bookstores for $3.95, or 6 issue subscription for $20.00. SEND THEM YOUR ZINES!! Factsheet Five, PO Box 170099, San Francisco, CA 94117-0099. Fandom vol. 10 #2 - the official newspaper of the Magnum Opus Con, an infamous and rather intense gaming and party convention. The last one's guests included Mojo, the computer graphics animator for Babylon 5, Patricia Tallman, Spice Williams, Bruce Campbell, Gunnar Hansen, Kane Hodder, Brinke Stevens, and more. This copy is primarily an update on the next MOC, which is being moved from Greenville, SC to a resort motel about an hour south of Atlanta. The bad part is that the only time they could get this motel is July 13-16th, which puts it in direct conflict with DragonCon in Atlanta, which is a damn shame because both of them are worthy events. We'll see how this works out. For info, write to Magnum Opus Con 10, PO Box 6585, Athens, GA 30604 Formulations: A Publication of the Free Nation Foundation. Autumn 1994. The Free Nation Foundation was founded to determine what institutions are needed for a free society. Formulations is their quarterly publication. This issue marks the beginning of their second year of publications, so they reprinted their original plan. Among the articles in this issue are an expanded definition of their goals, solutions for the funding of public goods, an argument that modern nations do not need a standing military, examples of private protection services in historical England, plus several articles on the status and activities of the Free Nation Foundation. If you are tired of reading about all the things we should get rid of, and want to know what institutions we *should* have, get this copy. Free sample, sub. $10/year, published quarterly. Membership in FNF is $30/year. Free Nation Foundation, 111 West Corbin St., Hillsborough, NC 27278 [reviewed by Gene Paczelt] Funny Pages #58 - Lots of the current jokes making the rounds, the more tasteless the better. OJ Simpson is the butt of a large number of them, since thats whats in the news nowadays. There is also various other cartoons, office humor, sick jokes, and pranks. Not for the politically correct- no subject matter is exempt. The very latest and best of contemporary outrageous humor. $2 or 10 issues/year for $15. Funny Pages, PO Box 317025, Dayton, OH 45437. Fax jokes to: (513) 253-4087 Good Clean Fun: The Elvis of Comic Strips, published by Gene Mahoney. Summer 1994. Gene Mahoney couldn't sell his comic strip to commercial outlets, so he publishes his own zine. The humor is bitter and ironic, similar to "Calvin and Hobbes", Outland, or The Far Side. In his column, "Notes from a Bitter Old Man", Gene argues that it is better to cheat on your spouse than get a divorce and cause more problems. There are additional guest columns, letters, and zine reviews. Not inherently political, but it has a strong individualistic attitude of the type "quit your whining and get on with your life". the next issue will be out Nov. 1, 1994. Quarterly, $1 for a sample, $5 for 5 issues. Gene Mahoney, PO Box 843, Redwood City, CA 94064 [review by Gene Paczelt] Ho! #1 and #2, plus Pug #0, by the No (Know) Information Network Black-and-white hardcore comics, articles, and commentary- but mostly comics. Absolutely anything is fair game, and range from silly to serious commentary to outrageously bizarre and disgusting, with influenced by hefty portions of punk and the dark side of California culture. Definitely not for the squeamish or prudish, I had one helluva fun time reading them. Definitely good stuff, and well worth it. Some of the comics, except for the intensity achievable only in self-published works, are good enough to be in more commercial works. $2.50 each for Ho!, $2 for Pug, to: No (Know) Information Network PO Box 291516, Los Angeles, CA 90029 Imprimis - A monthly newsletter, published by the small, private, and religiously-based Hillsdale College. Every month they publish an article by a conservative or libertarian. The Sept. 1994 edition has "A New Century and a New Optimism" by Robert Bartley, editor of the Wall Street Journal. This was his commencement address to the 1994 class of Hillsdale College. He discusses the problems caused by social engineers during the 20th century, and the problems and opportunities of the 21st century. Finally, he explains how technology and worldwide telecommunications can be liberating. FREE from Hillsdale College, Hillsdale MI 49242 [rev. by Eugene Paczelt] Interesting! - issue 3 - Produced by Richard Sagall, this is a collection of assorted things he find interesting, ranging from quotes, strange but true news items, assorted trivia, and more. This one also includes reviews of some zines he finds interesting, Richard's ongoing crusade to correct medical inaccuracies and factual errors in popular TV shows. Also, the soapbox section has opinions on people using "addiction" as an excuse for their behavior, a volunteer-oriented Priceless Economic System (promising paradise...now where have we seen *that* before?...), popular coverage of medical information, and sports-related violence by fans. The zine lives up to its name- I found it to be quite interesting, and learned a few new things I hadn't heard before. $3/issue from: Interesting! PO Box 1069, Bangor, ME 04402-1069 Living Free - Nov. 1994 - published by Jim Stumm. A friendly zine providing practical tips for independent living and making the most of limited resources. It is sort of a libertarian zine version of "The Mother Earth News". This issue's lead article is on the Spratley Islands, a collection of islands in the South China Sea claimed by five nations. Other articles include the advantages of plural marriages, the governors' demand for more power to the states, and a commentary on the essay "Ethics of an Atheist." Finally, a book review of "Saving Seeds: The Gardener's guide to growing and saving vegetable and flower seeds." by Marc Rogers. Sample issue $1, subscription $9/year published bi-monthly from Jim Strumm, Box 29, Hiler Branch, Buffalo, NY 14223 [GP] Lost Armadillos in Heat #10 - More silliness from the party crowd in Austin, Texas, which is a cultural oasis in the middle of the stereotypical cowboy country. (yes, its actually a separate *country*) This issue has a great interview with General Cosmic, who is either an alien life form in control of the government, or just a local crackpot. Austin has lots of them too. Plus, lots of various articles on bad and good music, mis-labeling of GenXers, armadillos, local Austin trivia and in-jokes, abusive advice columnists, and lots more. $2 per issue to Lost Armadillos, 1113 W. 31st St. Austin, TX 78705 Mail Order Central - One-stop shopping for all sorts of counter-culture magazines including Last Gasp, Loompanis, Blue Blood, High Times, The Nose, Gauntlet, Factsheet 5, Film Threat, and a wide variety of other erotic, subversive, gay, psychotronic, and strange publications. Ask for mail-order catalog from: Mail Order Central, PO Box 31353, San Francisco, CA 94131 ManPower vol 1 #2 - Summer 1994 - This issue exposes how all of the new domestic abuse bills are intended more to garner political favor among female voters than address the real problems of domestic violence. Literally billions of dollars are spent to help female victims of such violence, yet absolutely nothing is done nor even said about the large numbers of *men* who are on the receiving end of violence by females. Even worse, the law as it is set up now is more likely to arrest men for such violence at the slightest accusation, which is being more and more abused by women seeking revenge- yet little or nothing is done when crimes are reported against the men. Plus, tons and tons of actual cases explode the myth that women never commit heinous crimes. This is a bold call for *true* equality under the law, as opposed to the PC myths and gender favoritism now in effect. Membership in the Men's Action Council is $25/year; the newsletter is available for $15/year, and its thick. Men's Action Council, PO Box 27365, Golden Valley, MN 55427 Methodical Soup #1 - Large format comics; the panels are *big*. It isn't quite as well drawn as other comics either, but there are some interesting ideas in it. A character explores comic balloons and effects as literals, a story on the ultimate comic-writing computer, and the adventures of Flower Skull. $1 from 3863 S. Spring Apt, 8, St. Louis, MO 63116 Mickey Z. Says: A newsletter of Dissent. A personal rantzine published by Mickey Z., with lots of attacks on big government, big corporations, the mainstream media, and most of all, us. It occasionally includes information from and about other zines. He attacks us for messing ourselves up with poor diets, cigarettes, lack of exercise, and for believing so much of the propoganda the media feeds us. He usually includes statistics to back up his opinions, so it is more than just a collection of rants. By no means libertarian, and is in fact socialistic; if you have heard of Noam Chomsky, you should like this. Mickey Z. Says, PO Box 9103, L.I.C., NY 11103-0904 [Gene Pazcelt] Millenium Pop - Looking back over the 20th century, with the rise of popular consumer culture, the editor, Tim Riley, notes that there is a corresponding decrease of intelligent criticism of popular culture in the mainstream media. This issue has thought-provoking articles on how rock-n-roll artists "sell out" and how thats been part of it from the beginning, the demise of Eddie Murphy, popularized paranoia on "The X Files", and the comeback of Johnny Cash. They aren't afraid to be honest, even though it may be painful at times, and they give serious attention to how popular culture is changing. Quarterly, $24.95 per year to: Millenium Pop, 173 Morrison Ave. #1, Somerville MA 02144-9983 Mongoloid Moose - July 1994 - Scott was too busy to do a regular issue, so Brian takes over. This one includes the story "Further Adventures of the Duck", adventures in the audience of the Richard Bey show, adventures in food shopping, zine reviews, and cartoons. Extra points for a *truly* gross short story. $1 from Scott Wilson, PO Box 642, Bloomfield, NJ 07003 Mongoloid Moose - Sept. 1994 -This issue features 101 interesting "alternative" lawn decorations, adventures of working as a production assistant (and gopher) for the Miss America pageant in Atlantic City, and going back to college. Plus, stories, cartoons, artwork, and the Checkered Hat Boy and the Moose. The next issue will continue the Miss America experience and other adventures. $1 from Scott Wilson, PO Box 642, Bloomfield, NJ 07003 National Center for Science Education REPORTS - Fall 1994 - This is the official newsletter of a watchdog group that fights against the take-over of science curriculums by creationists. As it turns out, there really is, as Pat Buchanan said, a "cultural war" going on, with pseudo-scientific and thinly disguised fundamentalist morons taking over city councils and school boards all over the country. Its all documented here with all the gory details. Despite the best efforts by these courageous folks to stem the tide, the Dark Ages may be coming back. $25 for a one-year membership that gets you 4 issues of this report, plus 2 issues of the more scholarly journal. NCSE, PO Box 94777, Berkeley, CA 94709 No High Energy Particle Beam Research In The Nursery Area During Visiting Hours This is the latest Marks on Paper production by David Fischer (dave@cca.org). Like earlier publications, it involves lots of complex and eye-popping computer graphics, woven together by a complex and esoteric narrative. This one deals with a possible future where a computerized tyranny has become the next step in human evolution, with absurdities of apolcalypse contrasted with wild and outrageous advances in (human?) events. Thoughtful and dark, but sometimes humorous, sci-fi theme. With many possible levels of reading its, perfect for mind-altered states*, and at only $3, its a fun bargain in any mental state. Marks on Paper, 306 Thayer St. #82, Providence, RI 02906 Ogyr Network - Series 3 issue 3 - The SubGenius/Discordian/Alternative music zine continues. This one features posthumous interviews with Nicole Brown Simpson and John Wayne Gacy, articles by various critics, popes, Janor Hypercleets. Great stuff that you won't find anywhere else. Plus, one of the most complete alternative record review sections anywhere, band interviews, zines, cartoons, art by Gak, contacts for weird people. Tons of great stuff- one of my favorites. Ogyr Network, PO Box 53, Plainfield, IL 60544 Ogyr Network - Series 3 issue 4 - This issue returns with more strange stories, poetry, zines, and TONS of alternative music reviews, covering the best of the newest releases. Plus, interviews with David Wills of Negativland and Valor of Christian Death. Also, an interview with Pastor Buck Naked, on why he left the Church of the SugGenius, and his new "Logo Culture" theory. Ogyr Network, PO Box 53, Plainfield, IL 60544 Out of Bounds #2 - Nice mix of alternative to "alternative" opinions, reviews, and lots more. Nice professionally printed format, similar to FS5, with a far-ranging mix of opinions and analysis, much by the noted critic Mickey Z. They don't stop with the usual degenerate "mainstream" culture -there's plenty to be said about the "alternatives" too. Articles in this one include the commercialization of the "alternative" music scene, government death squads, a tribute to Frank Zappa, asset forfeiture by greedy police departments, the hypocrisy of greeting cards, and lots more. A good, healthy, think-for- yourself attitude pervades the whole thing, and its a long, fun read at 75 pages. Sample copy $4, 4 issues/year for $14 to: Out of Bounds PO Box 4809, Alexandria, VA 22303 or (703) 765-7495 Poppin' Zits! #9 - Jerod Pore's own personal zine, above and beyond FS5, is back again. This particular issue is stapled on the right, and reads right to left, just like Japanese magazines, which fits the theme of this issue, which centers around all the details of a trip to Japan a couple of years ago. I think I learned more about the Japanese culture and mindset from this than any other single source, plus there's tons of great info on how to search for wild mushrooms. Plus, there's a brief story on the transfer of Factsheet Five, and why it took so long. Its a fun read, and a good way to get to understand the modern perspective that Jerod and so many others bring to the scene. $3 and an age statement to Jerod Pore, 1800 Market St., Suite 141, San Francisco, CA, 94102-6297 Pretentious Shit #3 - Easily wins the Most Hardcore Zine received by HToMC in quite a while. This issue includes fun tricks to play on the police, shaved pussies, the disgusting funeral/party for G.G. Allin and the gross things they did with his corpse, Ed Gein's taxidermy tips, Mexican gore tabloids, a montage of GAK-art, and more. Nothing is too disgusting, weird, or tasteless to be printed here. Highly recommended- send an age statement because of vile content. Tremendous amount of sleaze for only $1 from Eclectic Enterprises, PO Box 22351, Indianapolis, IN 46222-0351 Probosco #2 - the funny pipe-creatures with horizontally-extending noses are back! The comic book is a collection of short strips or panels exploring some of the more silly and bizarre aspects of such an anatomy. Very different and original, so much so that not everybody "gets" it. Plus, letters, reviews and even Probosco parodies. Has tremendous potential for reading under the influence. $1 from Probosco, PO Box 1041, Berkeley, CA 94701. Send a SASE for Jim Richardson's 5-page manifesto "On Ridiculism"; also available for $1 are copies of "3 Magazine", done with Joel Brouwer. Sink Full of Dishes - Fall 1994 - 20 pages of mixed stories, poetry, zine and comic reviews, dreams, artwork, and several comics. Covers a pretty wide variety of topics from sexual leering to travel reviews and tips. Lots of stuff, and the mixed-up format makes for a fairly long and intersting read. $2 sampel or 4 issues for $6: Sink Full of Dishes, PO Box 160122, St. Louis, MO 63116 Skeptical Inquirer - Fall 1994 - The foremost journal devoted to the investigation of extrordinary claims. No one else even approaches the work they do, and this is a valuable information to plug into your bullshit detector. This issue looks at empirical evidence for reincarnation, environmentalist paranois over the ozone hole, bigfoot evidence, and various other UFO/miracles/satanic cult/media hoaxes. When put to the test, the mystics don't fare very well at all. $25/year from the Committee for the Scientific Investigation of Claims of the Paranormal (CSICOP), 3965 Rensch Rd. Amherst, NY 14228-2713 Slack - This is a small magazine-format paper put by the Zenger people. Although Dobbs is featured prominently, the material isn't so much Dobbsian as it is conspiracy articles. This one tells the gory details behind FEMA, the government agency designed to be a tyrannical emergency "government", how to deal with federal agents, NSA employee security procedures, and more. NOTE: I've heard that the "flying footwear", sneakers tied together over power cables, is a code indicating that a crack house is nearby. Distributed free around Madison, WI, or 12 issues for $13 to: slack magazine, PO Box 2243, Madison, WI 53701-2243 Smite #5 - It hasn't died! O.J. Simpson gives a guest editorial, a tale about attempting to work at McDonald's, serial killers, a jaundiced view of Star Trek, reviews of obscure badfilm, with an extra section on the extra-cheesy film "Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park", the incredibly bad Kiss movie. I particularly like spite because its funny, and the personal first-person point of view of everything. Send $1 to R.L. Porter, PO Box 1064, Lufkin, TX 75902 Sniper's Nest - issue 2 Fall 94 - A subversive zine which questions a lot of the premises of society, which I can certainly identify with. This issue looks at authoritarian undertones inherent in "safety" films and other children's programming, a look at some historical pirates who formed egalitarian communes, a cross-country trip, which speaks volumes about the way this society is turning out, plus ominous real news. I agree completely about the joke of a "Crime Bill"- its nothing more than a feeding frenzy for the police, and won't do a damn thing to effect real crime. Plus, reviews and more. $2 to Sniper's Next, PO Box 2351, Galveston, TX 77553-2351 Snuff It #2 - Quarterly publication of The Church of Euthanasia (also see the interview with Rev. Korda) - With the Earth's resources being already strained in so many ways, and future projections of explosive population growth foreboding Malthusian tragedy, this group advocates *voluntary* means to slow down and reverse the human tide. This issue includes articles on Big Brother, urine therapy, COE infiltration of a Population Awareness rally, which upset other more "politically correct" groups (too fucking bad!), an interview with Sebastian, and COE on the Internet. Sample issue $2, only $10 for 6 issues. The Church of Euthanasia, PO Box 261, Somerville, Ma 02143 So What? - Vol. 1 #23 - Free to all mutants. Shopping for Slack, Wacky Christian of the month: Harold Camping who predicted the Rapture in Sept. 1994. TV Rants and Raves, fellow freaks, slack music, and movie reviews. Small, but there's a lot in it. Write to: Rev. Groovy G,, PO Box 378, Richmond VA 23203 Spare R.I.B.S. #8 - Sketches of Humanity, published by David Kennerly. A perzine of art, poetry, letters, fiction, reviews and philosophical articles. One article by David describes his recent three days at a Buddhist monastery outside of San Francisco. Two articles of libertarian interest are "liberty and the Judeo-christian heritage" by Bob Bass, and "Income Tax Returns: the Hidden Social Contract." Finally, reviews of the magazine "Extropy" and the Loompanics Unlimited catalog. Published irregularly when David gets adequate material and funds together. [review by Gene Paczelt] **NOTE** Spare R.I.B.S. is on indefinite hiatus, and we all wish David well in Basic Training. Copies of issue #8 are available from HToMC for $1 or stamps, PO Box 30904, Raleigh NC 27622 Survivor Newsletter - Aug. 1994 - Originally started as a fund raiser for a Scout troop in Queens NY, this newsletter has expanded to include info on self-reliance, survival, civil defense, and the general corruption of our "government" with lots of political cartoons. They have lots of ads and contact addresses for survivalist, self defense, and scouting/outdoors organizations, and encourage a network among freedom-oriented folk. $1 from Evans, Apartment 2E, 11-15 45th Ave., LIC, NY 11101 The Book Your Church Doesn't Want You to Read - This goes into things that the church leadership doesn't want its followers to know- pagan origins of all "modern" religions, false prophecies, end times, mind control, pedophilia, fundamentalism, and more. Over 40 authors contributed sections on abortion, the Dead Sea Scrolls, separation of church and state, and more. Blows the lid off modern-day practices, the notion of which may not be new to a lot of people, but this help you to understand *why*. $19.95, Manoa Valley Publish. PO Box 5009, Balboa Island, CA 92662 The Red A - vol. 1 #5 May 1994 - I picked this one up in the streets of Atlanta during the last DragonCon. This is a a collection of essays, poems, personal experiences, and quotes, dealing with various aspects of anarchy. As I've said to other capitalism-bashers: be very careful that what you're protesting isn't capitalism as such, but *statism*. There's a big difference. No cost, but you might want to include a stamp or two. Anthony Harris, 206 College St. Apt. 3, Macon, GA 31210 Ticket to Hades #1 - A short booklet, hastily put together in 15 minutes. The Ten Things the Baby Jesus Taught Me, some assorted silliness, and a rather dark and gruesome poem. Not much here, but they're asking for material. 29 cent stamp from Mad Dog, PO Box 60213, Savannah, GA 31420 Yellow Submarine #10 - Collection of stories and offbeat news articles that look at the darker side of American culture. This issue includes a tribute to Frank Zappa, a comprehensive organizational chart of the CFR/Trilateral/ New World Order, Asshole of the Month: Jesse Helms, Howard Stern's book. Plus, other bits of cartoons, contacts, ads, and other subversive commentary and opinion. $2 from Yellow Submarine, PO Box 81, Elmira, NY 14902 Your Freedom #9 - This issue explores the uconstitutional slave-making powers of the Selective Service, an in-depth exploration of the roots of concensual (victimless) crimes, from Peter McWilliam's excellent book on the subject, alternate and much fairer tax systems, and treating "dangerous" knowledge as contraband. These are great articles on the notion of being left alone by government, with the greatest amount of personal freedom as possible, without regard to specific doctrine or politics. Sample issue $2, 1 year for $18 to: PO Box 54562, Oklahoma City, OK 73154-1562 Your Freedom #10 - A recommended reading list for freedom-oriented ideas, reviews of other anarchist/independent zines, an inside look at the British police state in Ireland, the explosive cancer-like growth of unnecessary laws in this country, and a personal look at what freedom means from perhaps the last truly free spirits in the country today: bikers. Find out just how far away we are now from the ideals that *suppose* to govern this country. Sample issue $2, sub $18 from PO Box 54562, Oklahoma City, OK 73154-1562 Zenger - This is a mini-newspaper, in newsprint, that I thought I'd never see again. But, its here. I don't see Ben Masel listed anywhere in it, but the people who have taken it over have done a good job of providing a GREAT source of alternate news that the "establishment" either can't or won't print. Lots of articles exposing the malignant policies of our corrupt government, plus coverage of propoganda, mind-control, corruption, and greed happening all over the country. $10 for 6 issues, PO Box 3323, Madison WI, 53704 or call (608) 238-9404 &%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%& The Church of Euthanasia has one commandment: "Thou shalt not procreate." This means NO BREEDING! Some related guidelines for good living follow: 1. Suicide is optional, but encouraged. 2. Abortion may be required to avoid violation of the commandment. 3. Cannibalism is mandatory if you insist on eating flesh. 4. Sodomy is optional, but strongly encouraged. Note that in most states, sodomy is legally defined as any sexual act not intended for procreation. For a catalog and free gift, send a SASE to: C.O.E., BOX 261, SOMERVILLE, MA 02143 SAVE THE PLANET! KILL YOURSELF! &%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%& this is a blatant advertisement. read carefully for full mind-numbing effect! print copies and spread to your family and loved ones... O G Y R N E T W O R K S E R I E S III I S S U E III DOBBS DISAPPROVED! SUBGENIUS / DISCORDIAN IS * O * U * T * ! * only $2! what a bargain! only $2! what a bargain! only $2! what a bargain! only $2! what a bargain! only $2! what a bargain! only $2! what a bargain! Features: * Exclusive interviews with Nicole Simpson and John Wayne Gacy * Janor Hypercleets interviews Jesus Christ! * Music Reviews of gothic / inudstrial / alternative including the heretical 'Bob's Media Ecology' * artwork from GAK and Rev. Nenslo and Dr. Onan Cannobite * SubGenius comix from Nenslo, Frappy, and Palmer Vreedeez * fiction and poetry from other SubGenii around the USA * Scene reports from Chicago Il. and Milwaukee Wi. * a contest where *you* can win 2 -=FREE=- CDs and a T-shirt! * 'Zine Reviews of other SubGenii magazines * contact information for other SubGenii and SubGenii affiliates! This wealth of information, a bi-monthly dosage of -=SLACK=-, comes directly to *you* in the mail in 30 (count 'em) chock-full-o'-yuks pages! by gum! how do I get this thing? Send $2 cash to: OGYR NETWORK PO BOX 53 PLAINFIELD, IL. 60544 USA your "tide me over" magazine to the _Stark Fist of Removal_... {[$aint @ndrew]} (saint_andrew@anl.gov) *@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@* AN INTERVIEW WITH REV. KORDA Reprinted from Up Magazine Up: The platform of the Church of Euthanasia includes suicide, abortion, cannibalism and sodomy. Why did you choose those four things? Korda: Well, first of all we have to establish what they all have in common, and that is of course that they all reduce the human population, which is the primary goal of the church. Up: And you approve of these four methods? Korda: Well, these are the four that really stand out as being the most useful for the moment. Up: But you approve of all methods? Korda: We prefer methods that are voluntary. The population is going to get reduced one way or the other. We have a choice between allowing things to continue the way they are, in which case natural forces will reduce the population for us, with the maximum amount of violence and unpleasantness, or we can take steps to try and reduce our population voluntarily, through the four pillars of the church. Up: You're opposed to involuntary population reduction? Korda: We don't believe in mass murder. We would prefer to see things done in an orderly and sensible manner, to the extent that that's still possible. The longer we delay, the more likely it becomes that will be no sensible solution. Already we see chaos in our society, spreading out from the cities, and from the United States to the rest of the world. There's not much time left. If there's going to be an orderly solution it needs to be started immediately. Up: And you're not just talking about zero population growth, you're talking about population reduction. Korda: Absolutely. It's been well known for some time now that zero population growth just isn't enough, and we haven't even achieved that. It's a common belief that the United States has already achieved zero population growth, when in fact, nothing could be further from the truth. Our population continues to grow, and not just from immigration. In the rest of the world, the population is growing at an incredible rate. As things become more and more uncertain, due in large part to the tremendous strain placed on the ecosystem by the industrial nations, people have less and less confidence that their children will survive, so they have more of them. The numbers speak for themselves. At the current rate, the human population will reach eight billion by 2020, which is well within our lifetimes. It's just common sense that the Earth's ecosystem is not going to sustain that population, and that the side effects are going to be famine, disease, war, and chaos on a scale that we can't even imagine yet. Up: The apocalypse. Korda: Right. Up: But wouldn't the apocalypse accomplish your goal? Korda: Actually, no. The apocalypse would involve the destruction of the ecosystem, and that's what we're trying to prevent. There are many groups out there who support war, particularly nuclear war, as a way of drastically reducing or eliminating the human species. There is no doubt that the process would be effective, but it would also make vast areas of the Earth unsuitable for any form of life. What we're trying to do is put the human species back in balance with the other species on the planet. We're trying to prevent the apocalypse. Up: Abortion and suicide are obvious. These are responsible decisions that people can make. Can you be more specific about how sodomy will directly affect the population? Korda: Well, no one ever got pregnant from sodomy. Up: (laughs) Korda: Seriously, why do you think it's still illegal in most states? We are living in a society that is almost entirely dominated by hetrosexual males. Our government is a patriarchy. Our god is a father figure. There's been no check, no restraint, on male power for hundreds of years, and the results are horrifying. Up: Why do males behave this way? Korda: It all comes down to biology. The male has approximately six hundred million sperm in his body at any given time, and these little guys are jumping up and down in there yelling "let me out, let me out!" By contrast, the female has one egg. There's a well known saying that when the dick gets hard, the brain gets soft, and it's actually very close to the truth. Men will say anything to get laid. Their sperm makes them crazy. Up: The dreaded sperm buildup! Korda: It's not just that. Males also lose an enormous amount of energy when they ejaculate, unlike females, who lose their energy through menstruation. Women can have orgasms all day long without any problem. This is the principle reason females live longer than males. All of this was well understood in traditional Asian cultures, where boys were taught sexual yoga to help them retain their semen. In our society, men are encouraged to ejaculate as often as possible, so of course they become weak, and gradually develop deep resentment towards women. This makes them extremely dangerous, and causes sadism and violence. Industrial society is really the male's attempt to get revenge for his natural sexual inadequacy by raping the Earth. Up: So you're opposed to ejaculation? Korda: Yes, but we're also pragmatic. What we're saying is, since we have all these angry men trying to get rid of their sperm, why don't they get rid of it in each other? Up: But what if they don't want to be queer? Korda: Women can oblige just as easily. Grease it up. If more guys were fucking asses instead of pussies, the population would drop. That's the bottom line. Up: (more laughs) Should they wear condoms? Korda: Of course! We're opposed to all needless suffering, including AIDS. Up: Okay, cannibalism. Are there any restrictions? Korda: Look, we have fifty thousand automobile fatalities per year, and we're lucky if we recycle a few organs. Perfectly good meat is being buried in the ground, or incinerated. That meat should go to straight to McDonald's. The United States wastes vast amounts of energy so that its citizens can eat as much meat as they want. It's just plain dumb. It takes more than seven pounds of grain to create one pound of meat. Read Diet for a Small Planet if you want the exact figures. There's no sensible reason why the rest of the world should starve so that we can eat meat. It's just another form of cultural decadence. But the church is realistic. We're not expecting Americans to stop eating meat, any more than we're expecting them to stop ejaculating. If they have to eat meat, let's make sure it's human meat. Up: Have you researched the nutritional value of human flesh? Korda: There's nothing wrong with it. It's good for you, and tasty too. My understanding is it tastes rather like pork. Up: Is it true that you'll be publishing a church cookbook? Korda: There have been rumors to that effect. We're working on it. The main problem is testing the recipes. <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Baboon Shoes by Ben Ohmart (BenO28891@aol.com) Gerald lit a match with his cig and mused from the glareproof windows. The office had no walls, just windows, and the boss loved the way the bubbling images looked. The pregnant women all seemed to huddle in groups, with clear pimple-heads and somehow they all seemed fatter. Except Jeanuh. It was always except Jeanuh with him, but somehow it'd slipped his notice that she was in her 19th month and her breasts were sagging and almost gone. It was the flatness that first infuriated his sex peak. Marrrrrtha entered to be excused for labor pains and she was given notice from a speech that didn't take any thought. He was thinking of hot nights on cool beaches, and being with a woman who perhaps wouldn't need a legal top - the way she was. A shudder passed through Gerald's body and he found the cream for his iced coffee. He was sorry to let Marrrrrtha go, she was a good mother and well... the business was not chartered to be temp run, he had to refill her huge position, but the fire drowned out all pangs of remorse, echoes of hunted friendship in this machine-run enterprise of baboon shoes. That's what he got, he thought, for running up a Breakout score on his Packard Bell that honestly hadn't been topped before. The hot computer had caught to the curtains and in 20 minutes, there was only a scorch mark on the square footage of real estate. Gerald looked through the milling firemen, looked through the hippos in blankets eating various cups of yogurt or Heath bars and he saw the woman sweating. He saw the woman raising the red cotton thing above her head for extra warmth, but to tease, yes, just to tease. Since there was no longer a business, the ex-everything didn't find himself bound. He walked over and asked swiftly for the date he'd longed for. "I can appreciate that," she said. He couldn't understand it. "Then I'm going to just have to follow you home." She smiled and Gerald thought she'd have to be death not to hear his insides beating like they were. Drowning out the dying winds and sputters of CBs and radio sets. He pressed her, so she said, "l'll be looking at other situations," then she went off, wrapping her head tighter, and a pillow with harness came down upon the white sidewalk. He thought she looked thinner. The ex-everything went to the zoo. He'd called her. Long ago he memorized the number among numbers. The machine was kind. He stared at the things in cages, and had an idea. But suddenly a child kicked him in the butt crack and was gone screaming before he could knife the creature. Gerald removed his slacks to wash his hands, dried himself, then removed the coat and vest. For three minutes he tried to decide if life was worth living or something else. He'd had the thing insured for thousands, but still the value in human understanding was a little vague on paper. He'd call his friend, a broker, and think what practical could he get for it. Gerald opened the stall's door and there the woman was. The woman his ideals had always been in like to love with, the object of a kind of beauty that had usually thrown his body up against a no dimensional wall. She laughed and said, "Calgon take me away." His eyes used to be blue, but then, just then they changed to her face. "What are you doing in here?" It was a difficult thing required to say, it needed words. "I'm trying to dump, do you mind?" So he closed the door and waiting outside the men's room until near zoo closing, when she emerged with ten paper bags and a KFC bucket of suppositories. Gerald chewed one on the silent walk to the gate, he tried a kind of friendliness she was obstinate to give. They reached her car, the bus sign, and he said, "Look. Give me a simple reason, and won't have to worry. You won't ever have to worry about me. " Jeanuh looked shallow into his eyes. He wished she'd look deep. She saw herself, and it gave her the seriousness of attitude that just made the man shrink. "Want to hitch to the islands?" he mumbled. "What"" she asked. It was healthy interest. Gerald was cleared, since the first time since the initial rejection. Cleared of a worry, cleared of all self-trauma, open to pleasures he'd wanted as a professional footman. "I want to take you away! Name the chain! Name it!", He was yelling by now, but the woman made it to his neck. The arms were around, and the two spent hours by plane getting to a clearing of palm plants and busy sand, busy with red ants and the pelicans that packed their lunches for just the place. The woman was bundled up on the sand, head to lovely foot, but Gerald was dreaming of a time later, later in the relationship, when he could put a hand to the breast, and everything else could or didn't have to come naturally or at all, he was just pleased with himself He was freezing, but pleased, and he knew now how to keep a treasure. It was lucky Jeanuh didn't care. She didn't care about where, or other questions, but loved the soaking of the South African sky. Gerald knew what to do. He knew what she wanted, and what she wanted could be him, if his system was compatible to what she'd expect. What rich atmosphere she expected to thrive in. He thought of the woman bogged down by jewels and how that would suit her, and thought of that call he made to his stock broker friend. Of the pitiful price of his life. But the dates - five there were - between that bus line and now. They kept his mind on nightlife pleasures, memories that would hold him back only by the merest whims of later credit card bills. He knew she wouldn't miss him. Gerald managed to slip out for a minute. He heard the rustling in the trees. The grunts of the green, and he took the sample case with him. There was something behind a deep rock, cut into a hillside, Gerald saw, and like a fully funded and urgent explorer, the re- everything withdrew a shoesize-measurer with the stealth of lovers. The baboon scratched his huge head while the man sought to fulfill himself. @+@+@+@+@+@+@+@+@+@+@+@+@+@+@+@+@+@+@+@+@+@+@+@+@+@+@+@+@+@+@+@+@+@+@+@+@+@+@+@ THE AMERICAN SHUFFLE Well, its the next day after the country wide political elections and a whole bunch of Republicans posing as Jesus Christ got into office and in control of the House and Senate. Its an old time political dance which has been going on inside of America for many years now. Its called the American Shuffle. You shuffle to the left then you shuffle to the right, then you shuffle to the left and you shuffle to the right, then you shuffle to the left and you shuffle to the right, ad infinitum. The Power Brokers have the American population doing the make believe political Jesus Christ shuffle all the time. You put the Republicans in then you put the Democrats in, then you put the Republicans back in and then you put the Democrats back in, then you put the Republicans back in and then you put the Democrats back in, ad infinitum. Its called the American political shuffle folks. The American population in voting sure enjoys dancing to this tune and it has excellent rhythm since we have been trained in doing it for so long. Move to the right and put all the Republican Jesus Christs in, then kick the devils out and move to the left and put all the Democrat Jesus Christs in, then kick the devils out and move to the right and put all the Republican Jesus Christs in, ad infinitum. This might be called instead the Fools Dance but then again what do I know, I might be all wrong so pardon me. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= HToMC PO Box 30904 Raleigh, NC 27622-0904 slack@ncsu.edu Holy Temple of Mass $ >>> slack@ncsu.edu <<< $ "My used underwear Consumption! $ $ is legal tender in PO Box 30904 $ BBS: (919) 954-5028 $ 28 countries!" Raleigh, NC 27622 $ Warning: I hoard pennies. $ --"Bob"