Û Û [MiLK] Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Mighty Issue #18 Û Û Û²²²²²²²²²Û illicit "Lemmy" Û²²²²²²²²²Û Û²²²²²²²²²Û Liquid By Igor Shimsky Û²²²²²²²²²Û Û²²²²²²²²²Û Kollections Û²²²²²²²²²Û Û²²²²²²²²²Û Û²²²²²²²²²Û ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ Hello, my name is Lemmy. And I am a computer virus! Well most people think of virii that go around deleting files and infecting memory, but I don't do that. See I'm not a mean virus, but I'm a friendly one that really has a sense of humor! Well to tell you about my past, I was created by the Virus Creation Utility that some human downloaded from a BBS somewhere. He finally made me to infect the FAT of a hard disk one day, but I the first cluster that I hit was one of Leisure Suit Larry! I was still a young impressionable virus that wa still open to new ideas. Well anyway after looking at the files I realized, erasing and deletion isn't what I wanted to do! So I display some letter on the CON driver that really seemed to piss off the human! He put in a program by McAfee to seek and destroy me, but the dumbass human didn't realize, was that I was just made, and virtually undetectable! So anyway. Now I spend most of my time on a computer of a friendly female human that likes the same kind of music I do, and well we just get along real well! Our favorite song is the one from Second Reality of the Future Crew, but that's off topic. I jump around her C: drive sometimes, I lay around in the data, and every once in a while I jump around over her nice new modem to other computers! Well the sysops of the BBSs don't know about me, but I don't cause too much chaos! Until one day, when I landed on a evil computer that had these really bad virii on. First that captured me, and took me to their high virus. The ruler virus asked me where I came from, and it turns out, both of us were created by the same guy. I was an outlaw, because I was an anarchist virus! I did the opposite of what viruses were supposed to do! So anyway, the high virus got some of his guard files to torture me! First they compressed me, all of a sudden, I was no longer a COM file, but I was a squooshed ARJ file! At least they could've had some respect and used ZIP to squish me! So anyway, here I am 62% of my original size, they they sent me to LPT1 a couple times, then they took the hard copy file maker thing that humans call printers (I can't to this day figure out why), but then they did a real cruel thing, they connected the printer to COM2!!! Then they sent me one bit at a time to the hard copy thing! I was so embarassed! They they uncompressed me, they ran me through a compiler! And they started looking at me insides! OUCH!!! I was so violated! Then as I couldn't take it anymore, the virus police came through and killed all the evil virii! Since I was now a ASM file, the virus police didn't get me. So there I sat for weeks un-assmebled! One day, the human of the computer came and found me. He didn't remember me, so he compiled me, and then when he found out I was a virus, he called in the virus police. It was too late, I already jumped on COM1 and was out in the phone line somewhere! I didn't know where I was, and I didn't know how I'd get home, but thats a different story! I hope you had a load of fun reading about my adventure, I think I'll go get some MiLK, and maybe I'll tell you another story on another MiLK carton! ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ[MiLK] InformationÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ [MiLK] Sights - WHQ - Barney's Pleasure Palace! (708)965-3098 DiSt- The Lunatic Phringe (708)232-0565 Mech World (708)757-0116 The Acropolis (708)557-2826 [MiLK] Member Listing - James Hetfield Plaid Wilderbeast Medicine Man Nyarlathotep Mendeleev Igor Shimsky Epic Black Justice Stash [MiLK] Issue Number - 21 [MiLK] Issue Size - 4619 Bytes [MiLK] Date of Production: 3/22/93 ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ Long Live The Machine ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ