Ü Ü Ü Mighty Issue #40 Ü Ü Û Û Ü illicit "The [MiLK] Guide to Atari" Û ß Û Û Û ÛÛ Liquid -By Atari John ß ß ß ß ß ß Kollections Ä Ä -ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ Hey guys, this is Atari John here, and boy do I have the issue for you! in this issue i will go through and rate all your favorite atari games by sexual potency! i hope you like it! Galaga - The pilot from Galaga has the longest penis of any Atari game available! And boy, does he know how to use it, too! There was this one night I was dreaming about being out in space shooting those nasty insect looking things and the pilot grabs me from behind in the ship and brings me into the back and we have long, hot, passionate sex until I woke up! The best dream i ever had! ÄÄÄÄÄ Atari John's Rating> 10 Rampage - I've always had this secret fantasy to fuck the monkey from rampage up the ass! I always wanted to take my little stubby penis and ram him good and hard! Sometimes i daydream that one day while I was playing i would be one of the little people running around and he'd pick me up and give me a blowjob! ÄÄÄÄÄ Atari John's Rating> 9 Pitfall - of COURSE the guy from pitfall is good in bed! I mean, anyone that can swing from vine to vine must have something going right! The only problem with Pitfall is he'll only have sex with you if you give him a money bag or a pile of gold ÄÄÄÄÄ Atari John's Rating> 7 Pac-Man - Pac-Man gives really good blowjobs! but otherwise he isn't that great. considering he doesn't have legs or a penis. ÄÄÄÄÄ Atari John's Rating> 6 Indiana Jones - Indiana Jones just isn't that great. he's too easy. All you have to do is find the stupid ankh and shovel and you've already got him undressing. there's no foreplay with him :( ÄÄÄÄÄ Atari John's Rating> 4 Space Invaders - no fun. the aliens don't have sex organs like we do. ÄÄÄÄÄ Atari John's Rating> 1 Ms. Pac-Man - Just like pac man, only difference is her lipstick gets all over your penis. if you like that stuff, i guess its a plus, but i like my penis nice and cleean ÄÄÄÄÄ Atari John's Rating> 5 Asteroids - the asteroids have no genetalia to play with. and all they do is bruise you all over. ÄÄÄÄÄ Atari John's Rating> 2 Burger Time - now this is a chef that knows how to cook his meat! This is also one of the most kinky atari characters, because he uses pepper in every sexual situation possible ÄÄÄÄÄ Atari John's Rating> 7 Kaboom - if you don't remember this was the game you used the paddles and had to catch all the bombs. it's pretty kinky too, but the only problem it's kinda dangerous to screw under these circumstances ÄÄÄÄÄ Atari John's Rating> 4 Atlantis - i only remember the name of this game so there were no horny men or women in it ÄÄÄÄÄ Atari John's Rating> 2 Riddle of the Sphinx - in this game guys in loin cloths run after you with rocks and big hard ons! definately a game for the masocists! ÄÄÄÄÄ Atari John's Rating> 6 Missle Command - there's no one to fuck in this game ÄÄÄÄÄ Atari John's Rating> 0 Combat - there's no one to fuck in this game either unless you count the pilots of the tanks and planes and boats and they don't count cuz they're too busy to play poochie ÄÄÄÄÄ Atari John's Rating> 1 Fishing - fish have always turned me on, and the guy in this game is just so cute! but watch out for that shark, he'll bite your kaka off! ÄÄÄÄÄ Atari John's Rating> 6 Boxing - what can i say, two guys beating on each other, what else makes for better foreplay? the only problem is the graphics weren't good enuff to arouse me in this game ÄÄÄÄÄ Atari John's Rating> 3 Adventure - this was the game where you were the knight and you had to find the flashing chalice! but to get it you had to kill dragons and stay away from the bat. well the dragons were horny and they all had HIV so you had to run away from them! it was a great game but i would have liked it better if at the end you got to fuck a princess or something ÄÄÄÄÄ Atari John's Rating> 5 Centipede - bugs aren't that arousing ÄÄÄÄÄ Atari John's Rating> 2 Dig Dug - this is a game where you go around BLOWING (up) the bad guys! what more can you ask for? i used to like to blow them until they were to explode, then let them gradually calm down, then blow them again! i hope someone does that to me when i grow up! ÄÄÄÄÄ Atari John's Rating> 9 Moon Patrol - its too bad you cant breathe outside your car otherwise i would have gotten it on with some moon chicks! ÄÄÄÄÄ Atari John's Rating> 4 Q-Bert - this guy's nose was just MADE for sticking your polish sausage into! and that snake guy can also make for some great butt slinging action! the little balls are much fun, but have YOU ever had sex on a little flying pad that is used to get to the top of the pyramid? it's a truely orgasmic experience! ÄÄÄÄÄ Atari John's Rating> 8 Jawbreaker - everything in this game is too tough. they all hurt too much to suck off. i dont like it ÄÄÄÄÄ Atari John's Rating> 4 Mouse Trap - it's too bad it wasn't Gerbil Trap, then it would have been a great game! but i guess mouses are cool too but i never tried one they never want to go up there maybe if i stuck a hunk of cheese up there ÄÄÄÄÄ Atari John's Rating> 5 Breakout! - the only good think about this game is the paddle makes for great spankings ohh hohhh whap ohh ÄÄÄÄÄ Atari John's Rating> 3 Night Racer - i dont think the title came from that you drive fast, i always pictured a brunette driving that car that could blow and drive at the same time or maybe id drive and she'd be in my lap i dunno i guess im not creative enough ÄÄÄÄÄ Atari John's Rating> 6 Tape Worm - or whatever this game was called, the one where you make the lines but if you touch your or the other line you die... there weren't any things with sex organs in this game so it sucked too but not literally ÄÄÄÄÄ Atari John's Rating> 2 Jungle Hunt - this guy was too active i think he was on steroids because no mortal man could do all that he did.. swing on vines swim and jump over boulders all without getting tired! well i know for a fact he was on sterroids because his penis was all striveled up! ÄÄÄÄÄ Atari John's Rating> 3 Hero - this guy wasn't really a hero in fact he was rather dissappointing ÄÄÄÄÄ Atari John's Rating> 4 Donkey Kong - this is the first time we got to meat mario, the little stocky italian guy. and you know what they say about italians... and you know what they say about stocky guys.. they always have big and thick ones! i learned this from an experienced woman who doesnt like that kind but I sure do! thick for me all the way! anyway, this also has donkey kong in it! and all monkeys are good in bed its a fact. Ive always dreamed of sucking mario off while donkey kong banged me from behind ÄÄÄÄÄ Atari John's Rating> 10 Popeye - spinich certainly hasn't helped popeye's penis size. but olive oil sure can twist herself into some great positions! ÄÄÄÄÄ Atari John's Rating> 6 Defender - too many aliens without big penises ÄÄÄÄÄ Atari John's Rating> 4 Frogger - i never liked toad cock and because of this id play the game just to get frogger smashed by a truck ÄÄÄÄÄ Atari John's Rating> 2 Pole Position - i think the name says it all! these guys really knew how to drive their sticks! they liked to accelerate their way to a screaming climax as the checkered flag was insereted up their rectums oh oh babie ÄÄÄÄÄ Atari John's Rating> 9 Zaxxon - i liked to rub my penis up against all the walls right before i hit them it was a fun game but i never was able to cum on one of them there just isn't enough time ÄÄÄÄÄ Atari John's Rating> 5 well, that's about it for me this time! check in again when i write Atari John's guide to nintendo games! and also look out for atari john's guide to mortal kombat - every position possible! see ya! Û Û [MiLK] Information Û Û Û Û [MiLK] Sites: Û Û Û Û The Obloid Sphere..........(708)965-3098 [14,400] Û²²²²²²²²²²²Û CUM........................(708)961-1220 [14,400] Û²²²²²²²²²²²Û The Asylum.................(908)914-9318 [14,400] Û²²²²²²²²²²²Û (NUP) I LOVE FEDS Û²²²²²²²²²²²Û Û²²²²²²²²²²²Û [MiLK] Issue #040, "The [MiLK] Guide to Atari" by Atari John ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ This file is Exactly 9625 bytes long