mindflow #5 09.12.94 ascii version (c)1994 mindflow publications about mindflow------------------------------------------------------------------- concept/editor: josh ruihley programmer : keith shapiro mindflow is a monthly ezine that features poetry, short stories, brainstorms, random thoughts, essays, ect. basically, mindflow features thoughts. it takes what people feel and what people think and it compiles these thoughts into a monthly mind trip for people across the country and world to enjoy. all that is really needed to enjoy mindflow is an open mind, so open up your mind, and enjoy. mindflow is free to distribute as long as its contents are not altered in any way. each piece in mindflow is personal property of its author and may not be copied in any way (except when distributed with the whole issue of mindflow). format: right now, mindflow is distributed in two formats. one: ibm .zip file. this file includes the actual mindflow program which is menu driven and has vga graphics. if you are on an ibm, ***i highly recommend that you check this version out.*** two: universal .txt file. this is just all of the contents of mindflow typed out in ascii (.txt) format. this will work and print on almost any operating system out there. all of the same great pieces, but not as pretty as the .zipfile. subscriptions: subscriptions to mindflow are free. to subscribe, just send your email address to: kdshap0@nx41.mik.uky.edu or jrruih0@ukcc.uky.edu please include whether you want the ascii (.txt) version or the uue encoded .zip file. submissions: this is the most important thing about mindflow. without your thoughts and your submissions, mindflow would be nothing. for the most part, all submissions are accepted , so if you would like to see something of yours in mindflow, please, send us your submission. all versions of mindflow (.zip and .txt) are available at: bulletin board systems: ripcurl bbs (versailles, ky) 14.4 1.606.873.6637 the void (hopkinsville, ky) 14.4 1.502.886.0517 2400 1.502.886.5871 fallen angel bbs (lexington, ky) 9600 1.606.299.2329 aoyu (lexington, ky) 2400 1.606.273.6836 commercial: america online keyword: writers writers club e-zines internet: anonymous ftp: archive.etext.umich.edu /pub/Zines/Mindflow editors note------------------------------------------------------------------ welcome to mindflow #5! this month is a big month for us. mindflow is now officially on the internet. this means that mindflow is now available to a whole new group of people: definitely a step in the right direction. we here at mindflow are also heavily encouraging subscriptions to mindflow. subscriptions are absolutely free and mindflow will be in your mailbox the day of release each month. to subscribe, just send your email address to keith . please let him know if you would prefer the ascii (.txt) file or the uue encoded .zip file. this issue: once again, there are many, many great thoughts from different people in this mindflow. most pieces this month can be classified in the brainstorm, poetry categories. there was a shortage of short stories this month, so we can try to make up that next month! anyway, i hope you enjoy this monthly compilation of thoughts..... ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Autumn Storm By Danielle Cosney------------------------------------------- Crisp, iridescent leaves scrape the pavement as gusts of warm, damp winds carry them along. Swarthy, somber clouds swiftly roll in obscuring the bright sun. Irrigous drops fall from the ominous skies creating a gentle patter on the softening ground. The sweet smell of damp leaves floats soothingly with the breeze. cobain by Kurt Moskowitz-------------------------------------------------- why idolize something why worship someone because there life is not finished and done 4 he brought it upon himself not you there is no need for hysterics no need to hold your breath no need to repress your own freedom because most people expect more of you media surrounded him sharpened there knives and you can damn well say he payed the price for it was them that did it they wont admit it for the gun he used the media filled why do they morn for someone they killed a thought by Ann Keller---------------------------------------------------- Sometimes the best times we have are only shared with our dreams. the fall by Andy Malloy--------------------------------------------------- looking down i see the rocks and water flowing, white turbulence leaning forward thinking only "is it worth it?" and "is it worth it?" tipping past the point of balance moving beyond no return i'm falling, falling toward the rapids wind howling in my ears everything's a blur then in an instant it's over and my body swings under the bridge Untitled by Mike Laiacona-------------------------------------------------- 5am and sober i've never felt better life isn't broadcasted in 2 tones of gray life isn't hating myself or you life isn't a hazy delirium dream i still haven't forgiven myself for your death but i think about it almost every day I remember watching the news about our latest effort overseas and I can never forget seeing your name among those killed, and I can never forget feeling sick to my stomach so numb i couldn't begin to think it was true I crawled into a bottle that night and did not leave until now In altered states, I am the fool the prophet who seizes life in one breath and easily brushes it aside with the next In altered states the pain is all to real I wanted to lay side by side with you forever It was all to easy to do and that scared the hell out of me, so now it's 5am and sober and I never want to go back... flagging down the angels by Su Byron---------------------------------- you gotta try to catch them these winged beings as they fly over churches on Sundays you gotta be quick to catch these pure things barely born and still covered with that cloak that coat of newborn goodness you gotta jump high to bring them down you gotta climb to the highest step while the minister curses you under his breath you gotta be quick and kiss every hand that will help you to where you need to be you gotta be able to stay on the roof all night while other guys make love and drink beer and read verse to their g-stringed mistresses you gotta play the game to get there to catch those flying angels believe me I caught one in a dream once and flew all night through bursts of violin music and sights of strange color that broke my heart you gotta kneel when you're close below them and with the cleanest face you can muster up you gotta gaze on them and with pure thoughts you gotta beg them not to pass you over Untitled by Bryan Mullins------------------------------------------------- little flower, why do you wilt so? when all your days are filled with sunshine and green fields? a dark cloud has passed over you and threatens not to leave? blocking the sunshine, making green fields grey. little glower, worry not your pretty purple petals, the sunshine within you turns again the grey fields green. Mirrors author unknown----------------------------------------------- Who was he? The strange man in the mirror. I never knew. I laughed with him sometimes, cried with him more, yet I never knew who he was. We often stared at each other but he never spoke to me or betrayed his secrets to me. I've heard that some people believe the mirror holds their soul and provides them a short visitation of it. Yet each time I came to the mirror, I was met by this cold stranger. I was forced by him to search within me to find my soul. After long searching I finally came to her, sealed behind many walls and buried beneath tears and lies. I looked to her and cried, embracing her after so long. I began tending her wounds and helped her from that place, giving her freedom. She smiled and rose, filling me and embracing me. Now when I meet the mirror, I see her and she smiles tenderly to me. We share our thoughts and secrets. I speak fondly to her and feel her reply. But I wonder what happened to the man in the mirror and who he was. I wish I could have known him and spoken to him. He is gone forever now. Perhaps he never existed, except as the guardian protecting my soul until she was strong enough to stand alone. --------------------------myself by paul kell------------------------ to crawl outside myself and view what's left the visions of what i want to be my sights on what i want to see the mellow meadows of my mind changing seasons changing time changing things i want to find all wasted words from wasted lines the cold creeps in the light eludes my soul's what's left the dark secludes all that i see is what i am not what i'll be not what i've been alone to be without you here i see my sin i see my fear i see myself in this mirror an empty shell of what is dear what was life is now not there so what is it that i've found in these walls that surround to make my hopes and thoughts resound an inner peace before unfound tis it life flows from within beneath my breast beneath my skin beneath my soul the light within or is it not a myth a tale a talisman old and frail could it be something else gold within an untold wealth i know not what makes me decide right and wrong in all confide my conscious state of love and hate both absolutes we both debate loss of life or loss of soul the quest for truth my final goal "stricken, smitten, and afflicted" the anti-climax makes me whole Impatient Patience by Don McCormick--------------------------------------- People say I'm impatient And that I have to learn That the world won't move when I want And I've got to wait my turn In my heart I know they're right And I'm doin' what I can But until I attain deliverance This is just the way I am. Now I know that the earth harbors Many strays, dimwits, fools and worse And I hear tell in third world countries Many people die shortly after birth But here in the U.S.A. Texas Triangle 'Ole Beaumontville Our longevity permits That we may fret Over nothing more than a utility bill. But, lately I've found something that seems important And disturbs my little brain Concerns this girl I met the other night And if I'll ever see her again That may seem a little selfish, (Living in such a microcosmic world) But despite my adventurous spirit I'm just another boy lookin' for a girl. So, anyway, I thought I'd found her I felt so safe and warm My heart tremored Quakes of delight A rose without a thorn! So I cascaded down the steepest slopes Suddenly without fear Pretending everything was all right And that I wouldn't have to steer Thinking everything was OK And that I wouldn't have to turn That I would sail right into her life But I just had to learn; That I was ordinary No matter how special I may feel And that special feeling is temporary And that's what makes it oh so real. Like the bird and the worm And the fish and the fly And the balance of nature And the way we survive And the loving and the lonely And the frost and the seed And it's only through contrast That we may see... That it's the feeling that we crave That drives us near insane Yet we demand whoever brought it Bring it back again But then they're just carriers Like it could have been the flu -First they love you Then they don't- And there's nothing you can do 'Cept button up 'gainst The gales of emotion And fall in love Whenever love gets the notion. silence. (c)1994 josh ruihley--------------------------------------------- the stabs of silence poke at me robbing all i'll ever be no chance for reversal no chance to turn back now is too bright and then is too black i forked to the right when left was what was true i forked to the right when left it lead to you so here i am confused and mislead my chance is dead my chance is dead so here i am confused and mislead there's nothing said my chance is dead Spiny Blue By Joel Wheeler------------------------------------------------ I've only seen you once -- your azure mysteriousness is so obvious to all but me. You're everywhere, but not for me -- a Saturday morning dream. A satisfied smirk is ever apparent -- Sixteen short bits going on thirty-two. "the view from here" (c)1994 Amber Goddard-------------------------------- once, when i was very small and all things seemed good and shiny, i fell into a round hole under the kitchen sink, and as i floated weightlessly towards the prince of salamanders, i threw back my head and laughed, because i knew things he didn't. then he chewed off my innocence and, through the straw in my ear, sucked away my laughter. this was when i was very small. the bond of life (c) 1994 by keith shapiro-------------------------------- somehow i knew that when i first saw you that you were the only someone for me. at first you piqued at me and then my curiosity took over and wanted to know something about you, dearest there is a bond between us even if we cannot see or admit it it has always been and will always be from a moment frozen in thought time plays its leprechaun's tricks dancing about and trying to break it but that bond was formed out of time and so he will never separate us even though you may have left gone away to anther place these bonds are formed of something that has no bounds or distance and i will go on, doing and existing waiting for the day when i can truly be that is the day that you come back that is the day that you return for me somehow i knew... the first time i saw you that there was something different about us i never knew until i first saw you that you were meant to be my match and this bond will always be there even after a million years it is there and always between us it lets us share our hopes and fears. but this is hard, the words don't come easy each one is a though about you i don't know if i can bear it much longer being here, without seeing you. .