************************************************************************ ************************************************************************ *** *** *** *** *** NutWorks *** *** ---------- *** *** The Inter-Net Virtual Magazine Which States *** *** That Life Is A Four Letter Word. *** *** *** *** *** *** November 1985 Issue 3, Volume II. NutWorks is Published *** *** monthly. Leonard M. Friedman aka Spock (CALBC821@CUNYVM) *** *** Virtual Editor in Chief. *** *** *** ************************************************************************ ************************************************************************ From the Bridge =============== Captains Log: Stardate 850611 Commander Spock Reporting. Approximately one and a half years ago something appeared on bitnet that would change interpersonal relationships on the network forever. For it was then the first chat machine appeared. A chat for anyone who might not know is similar to a CB on the computer. In other words you send one message and everyone on the channel you are signed onto will see that message. The very first chat appeared in Maine and provided people with an excellent way to meet fellow students and discuss Life, The Universe, and Everything, which alot of the time had something to do with computers. Discussions included recent political events, sharing of ones problems and many virtual friendships were born and a large number of them went beyond being virtual into real relationships where the people met and remained friends. The chat at Maine was short lived and was taken down volluntarily by the person who wrote it for reasons unknown to me. It was soon replaced by CHAT@PSUVM1 which would become the model for future chats to aspire to. Discussions there also varied widely and were very kept in good taste not to affend anyone. If anyone had personal business to discuss with a fellow netter they simply created a private password protected channel and went there and could talk in whatever manner they wished without offending anyone. Hence everyone was happy except for the staff who said that chatting wasted too much CPU time; placed to much of a load on the network, and was generally disruptive. This eventually spelled the end of the CHAT at PSUVM. During this time many chats popped up and died. It became an adventure to try and keep up with the chats that were currently active and those that had been shut down. Some of the chats worth mentioning are Multi-Talk, Missing Link, and various others... Out Of the chats grew something called "Conferencing machines", Relay and Forum are examples. Relay and Forum have the same basic concept as chats with a few differences (which will be the discussion of a future article on the evolution and history of chats and conferencing systems). The main difference that I want to point out is that many schools decided that they would tolerate them on a trial basis. The Conferencing machines are a great and wonderful thing when used with "PROPER DISCRETION". There are several rules that constitute proper discretion: 1) Thou shalt not chat and take up a terminal when other people are waiting that have to do work. (For those who will say that I am hogging a terminal and being disruptive myself when doing this magazine allow me to point out the fact that I have my own terminal at home and hence am bothering no one, nor preventing anyone from doing any work.) In some schools they can just throw you off the terminal if you are just sitting there chatting and preventing others who need to do work from doing so. I think that this policy should be implemented NETWORK WIDE. 2) Thou shalt not be abusive to fellow users. It is apparent that many of the new users do not know what abusive means so i will explain further. a) Thou shalt not curse. Not only is it not neccessary, but it is offensive to people. b) Thou shalt not be generally obnoxious to other chatters. Try and keep things in GOOD TASTE will ya! c) Thou shalt not enagage in so called computer-sex, compu-sex, bitsex, or whatever you want to call it. In other words to the girl who has caused such a fire on csnews flame I don't care if you are wet between the legs !!! What a slut !!! SHEESH !!! If you must do that type stuff, at least take it to a private channel !!! d) Thou shalt not send pictures over chats. Not only is it annoying to those people who are on slow modems, but it increases RSCS network traffic unneccessarily. e) Thou shalt not send multiple messages (repeating the same message over and over). SEE D FOR REASONS. 3) The main thing is SIMPLE CONSIDERATION, nothing more. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ NutWorks News ============= 1) Nutworks will be avialable for Bitnet users on the Forum Confer- encing system via the /getf Nutworks Issue### command. Back issues have already been placed on Forum. For Usenet users it will be avail- able through Alan (ALAN@NCSUVM.bitnet). For more information please consult the NutWorks Info File availalbe in a solar system near you !!! 2) The Staff has decided that on top of distributing NutWorks through the Forum Conferencing System to create a mailing list. To get yourself added to this list send a memo with your account, node, and name (First, Last) to any of the following: Lenny aka Spock CALBC821 @ CUNYVM (Bitnet) Scott aka Orion CSCSRH @ CCNYVME (Bitnet) Alan aka Alan Alan @ NCSUVM (Bitnet, Usenet) Note: Names are strictly for reference purposes. 3) I recently discovered that all the issues of NutWorks from when Brent was still running NutWorks (Issue 1 - 4, Vol I) are Available on SERVER at TAMCBA as well as the Forum Conferencing System. I have sent them Vol II. TAMCBA is 12 nodes from CUNYVM I think. 5) Brent CJ Britton is no longer involved with NutWorks. Please DO NOT send any correspondence to him. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Straight from the Horse's Mouth =============================== After unbearable inquision concerning the spelling of the word 'NutWorks', Brent C.J. Britton, our founder, had this to say: "Well, 'NutWorks' is just this word, you know ? I mean, at first we were going to call it 'Networks' or 'Networx' or something, the implication being that the magazine is a collection of works from around the net. But once it became obvious that we were going to be putting out a HUMOR magazine, we changed the 'net' to 'nut.' "The 'W' is capitalized just to make the distinction between the two words 'Nut' and 'Works.' It can therefor be derived that NutWorks is a collection of 'works' done by a bunch of 'nuts' from the 'net.' "Actually, off the record, it's a Soviet ploy. You see, 'NutWorks', when converted to hex, is 'd5a4a3e6969992a2' which happens to be the firing sequence code on a bunch of Soviet nuclear missles or something. I don't know... they told me to use 'NutWorks' and they'd pay me a whole sh*tload of money... hey, turn that tape recorder off!! Hey! Get back here! Oh Sh*t.." ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Software for Nothing ==================== by: Brent CJ Britton With appoligies to Mark Knopfler. I waaaant my.. I waaaant my... I waaaant my C-R-T...... Now look at them hackers, That's the way ya' do it. Ya' play with mem'ry that you cannot see. Now that ain't workin, that's the way ya do it. Get your software for nothing and your chips for free. Now that ain't workin, gotta CPU-it. Let me tell ya, them guys ain't dumb. Maybe crash the system with your little finger, Maybe crash the system with your thumb. We got to install micro-data-bases, Gotta make things run like a breeeeze. We gotta help these foreign students, We gotta help these mindless E.E.'s... The little Hacker with the Pepsi and the Munchos: Yeah, buddy, don't like to SHARE... The little Hacker got his own compiler, The little guy don't change his underwear. We got to install the latest debugger, Under budget, and optimiiiiiiized. We got to have more muddy-black coffee, We got a green glow in our eyyyyyyes... I shoulda' learned to play with Pascal. I shoulda' learned to program some. Look at that drive, I'm gonna stick it on the channel, Man, it's better than the old one... And who's up there, what's that? Beeping noises? He's bangin on the keyboard like a chimpanze. Oh that aint workin, that's the way ya do it, Get your software for nothin', get your chips for free. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Advertisement ============= Name: CATT - Completely Autonomous Touring Tester Manufactured by: MOMCATT - Makers Of Many CATTs Anytown USA (Offices around the World) FEATURES Low Power CPU Self Portable Operation Dual Video Inputs Dual Audio Inputs Audio Output Main Input Multiplexed with Error Output Auto Search for Input Data Auto Search for Output Bin Auto Learn Program in ROM Auto Sleep When Not in Use Wide Operating Temp. Range Self Cleaning Production Details After basic construction, the unit undergoes 6 weeks of ROM programming and burn-in testing. MOMCATT will typically reject inferior products, but sometimes people will salvage rejected units. These factory seconds may or may not perform the same as units that pass the standard acceptance testing. All of the previously listed features are installed during this interval. Since MOMCATT uses many different suppliers, there is wide variation between the individual units. Some of the component matching may be so poor that a feature may not even work. Fortunately, these units are so cheap that replacement is never difficult. Set up and Use When acquiring a CATT, it is best to visit MOMCAT and see what units are currently available. The consumer should examine each unit to verify that all I/O channels are operational. The user should also look for obvious bugs in or on the system. Although these bugs are usually trivial and easily removed, they are indicative of the production environment at the local MOMCATT outlet. When a CATT has been selected, it should be put in a suitable packing case for transport to the new operating environment. Failure to properly package a CATT may result in damage to the unit or injury to the user. When the CATT is first brought up, it should be in a quiet room, with only the primary user(s) present. The CATT should be taken out of the shipping crate and the self learning program should be started by showing the CATT the output bin. The next step is to show the CATT the input bin(s). Some CATTs need more help getting started than other CATTs. If the user already has one CATT and is bringing up a second, it may be possible to download the new CATT from the older more experienced CATT. In either case, the new CATT should be in self learn mode most of the first day or two. When the CATT is new, it also has a tendency to sleep() when the learn buffer overflows. THIS IS NORMAL. When the learn buffer fills, the CATT will go to sleep(), and the DMA system will take over and store the new data in permanent memory. In a few days, the CATT will be freely interacting with the operating environment. The user should be aware that the CATT is still too new to be allowed out of the home. Full portability comes later, after more extended burn-in (some users never let the CATT out, this has some advantages, such as longer unit life). You should also know that if a CATT gets used to going out, you will have a hard time keeping it inside for extended periods of time. One other caution, if allowed out, a CATT may try to port itself to the other side of the street. Some CATTs have been known to take fatal errors during this process, errors which are never recoverable. Your CATT should have it's own system name. This name will have to be repeated for the CATT many times so that the learn program reads it correctly. This will be important later on when you want to get the CATT's attention. Another way to get the CATT's attention is to boot it. While this is a very effective method, some users feel that too much booting is akin to abusing the system. If the CATT knows it's system name, you can cause the CATT to boot itself by shouting the name at it. Many users want to play games on their system. CATTs play games best when they are young. Older CATTs seem to lose their flexibility, and their joy-sticks lose calibration too. Some of the better CATT games are: FETCH, MIRROR, STRING, SQRT, JUMP, and CHASE. FETCH is played the same as with the K-9 system, the only difference is that the object code must be smaller. MIRROR is played by placing the CATT in front of a mirror and watching it attempt to parse itself. Occasionally, the CATT will become alarm()ed by the mirror image, panic(), and run away. Re-booting will get it back up. STRING is a game where the CATT parses the end of a data string that is dragged along the floor. SQRT is a game for when the CATT does something that you do not like, you use the well known aversion to water as a form of negative feed- back. JUMP is a game like STRING, only the data string is moved through the air and the CATT reaches new heights of parsing. JUMP may also be played with a stairway or CATT pole. In these versions, the CATT jumps down instead of up. Some users may combine the two games for even more action. CHASE is a game that is played with two CATTs or a CATT and a K-9 system. In this game, each system takes a turn as the data, while the other tries to parse it. Many other games are also possible. Some of these are: SING, and DANCE. These games rely on the CATT's desire for fishy input data. By tempting the CATT with fishy data, you can extract many wonderful audio outputs. Maintenance CATTs usually require little maintenance. Every year they should be taken to a VET (Vastly Experienced Technician) for PM. The VET will check the I/O ports and the operating hardware. Any problems that arise between visits should also be taken to the VET. VET fees are usually reasonable. Some CATTs are perodically plagued by heat problems. A trip to the VET can fix this problem permanently. Conclusions As CATTs get older they generally become more docile. The learn program becomes more efficient and they sometimes get too smart for their own good. Some CATTs even start to watch television (encourage them to watch NOVA, it is good for them, esp. shows about birds and spiders). Another good thing for CATTs is tropical fish (yes, it is hard to believe, but they do start hobbies). Most CATTs also like to have a few toys. This is OK until they rip them open to see what is inside. A properly cared for CATT can give you years of steady service. Many users like the first so much that they will get a second or even third CATT. Most people really don't need all the extra capacity, but they enjoy the more complex games that can be run. I'd like to hear from other CATT users if they have any special application programs available. If there is enough interest maybe we can start a news group called net.micro.catt. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ JACKPOTTING: What is it? ======================== (Contributed by the Mad Pirate RAAQC987@CUNYVM) JACKPOTTING was done rather successfully a while back in (you guessed it) New York. What the culprits did was: Sever (actually cross over) the line between the ATM and the host. insert a microcomputer between the ATM and the host. insert a fradulent card into the ATM. (card = cash card, not hardware) What the ATM did was: Send a signal to the host, saying "Hey! Can I give this guy money, or is he broke, or is his card invalid?" What the microcomputer did was: Intercept the signal from the host, discard it, send a there is no one using the ATM" signal. What the host did was: Get the "no one using" signal, send back a "Okay, Then for for God's sake don't spit out any money!" signal to ATM. What the microcomputer did was: Intercept signal (again), throw it away (again), send "Wow! That guy is like TOO rich! Give him as much money as he wants. In fact, he's so loaded, give him ALL the cash we have! He is really a valued customer." signal. What the ATM did: What else? Obediently dispense cash till the cows came home (or very nearly so). What the crooks got: Well, in excess of $120,000 (for one weekend's work), and several years when they were caught. This story was used at a CRYPTOGRAPHY conference I attended a while ago to demonstrate the need for better information security. The lines between ATM's & their hosts are usually 'weak' in the sense that the information transmitted on them is generally not encrypted in any way. One of the ways that JACKPOTTING can be defeated is to encrypt the information passing between the ATM and the host. As long as the key cannot be determined from the cipher text, the transmission (and hence the transaction) is secure. A more believable, technically accurate story might concern a person who uses a computer between the ATM and the host in order to determine the key before actually fooling the host. As everyone knows, people find cryptanalysis a very exciting and engrossing subject ...don't they? (Hee-Hee) __________ | |--<<<<---| |---<<<<---------/-----\ | ATM | microcomputer / host \ | | | | | | | | | | \ / |________|--->>>>--| |--->>>>----------\----/ I know the person that accomplished this feat, here in Orange County. In the following, "B of A" = Bank of America. in the very recent past: The B of A ATM's are connected through dedicated lines to a host computer as the Bishop said. However, for maintenance purposes, there is at least one separate dial-up line also going to that same host computer. This guy basically BS'ed his way over the phone until he found someone stupid enough to give him the number. After finding that, he had has Apple hack at the code. Simple. Step 2: He had a friend go to an ATM with any B of A ATM card. He stayed at home with the Apple connected to the host. When his friend inserted the card, the host displayed it. The guy with the Apple modified the status & number of the card directly in the host's memory. He turned the card into a security card, used for testing purposes. At that point, the ATM did whatever its operator told it to do. The next day, he went into the bank with the $2000 that he received, talked to the manager and told him every detail of what he'd done. The manager gave him his business card and told him that he had a job waiting for him when he got out of school. Now, B of A has been warned, they might have changed the system. On the other hand, it'd be awful expensive to do that over the whole country when only a handful of people have the resources and even less have the intelligence to duplicate the feat. Who knows? ----------------------------------------------------------------------- "Real Programmers Don't Use PASCAL" PART I =========================================== (Contributed by Chris Condon BITLIB@YALEVMX) Back in the good old days -- the "Golden Era" of computers, it was easy to separate the men from the boys (sometimes called "Real Men" and "Quiche Eaters" in the literature). During this period, the Real Men were the ones that understood computer programming, and the Quiche Eaters were the ones that didn't. A real computer programmer said things like "DO 10 I=1,10" and "ABEND" (they actually talked in capital letters, you understand), and the rest of the world said things like "computers are too complicated for me" and "I can't relate to computers -- they're so impersonal". (A previous work points out that Real Men don't "relate" to anything, and aren't afraid of being impersonal.) But, as usual, times change. We are faced today with a world in which "little old ladies" can get computers in their microwave ovens, 12-year-old kids can blow Real Men out of the water playing "Asteroids" and "Pac-Man", and anyone can buy and even understand their very own Personal Computer. The Real Programmer is in danger of becoming extinct, of being replaced by high-school students with TRASH-80's. There is a clear need to point out the differences between the typical high-school junior "Pac-Man" player and a Real Programmer. If this difference is made clear, it will give these kids something to aspire to -- a role model, a Father Figure. It will also help explain to the employers of Real Programmers why it would be a mistake to replace the Real Programmers on their staff with 12 - year - old "Pac-Man" players (at a considerable salary savings). LANGUAGES --------- The easiest way to tell a Real Programmer from the crowd is by the programming language he (or she) uses. Real Programmers use FORTRAN. Quiche Eaters use PASCAL. Nicklaus Wirth, the designer of PASCAL, gave a talk once at which he was asked "How do you pronounce your name?". He replied,"You can either call me by name, pronouncing it 'Veert', or call me by value, 'Worth'." One can tell immediately from this comment that Nicklaus Wirth is a Quiche Eater. The only parameter passing mechanism endorsed by Real Programmers is call-by-value-return, as implemented in the IBM\370 FORTRAN-G and H compilers. Real programmers don't need all these abstract concepts to get their jobs done -- they are perfectly happy with a keypunch, a FORTRAN IV compiler, and a beer. * Real Programmers do List Processing in FORTRAN. * Real Programmers do String Manipulation in FORTRAN. * Real Programmers do Accounting (if they do it at all) in FORTRAN. * Real Programmers do Artificial Intelligence programs in FORTRAN. If you can't do it in FORTRAN, do it in assembly language. If you can't do it in assembly language, it isn't worth doing. STRUCTURED PROGRAMMING ---------------------- The academics in computer science have gotten into the "struct- ured programming" rut over the past several years. They claim that programs are more easily understood if the programmer uses some special language constructs and techniques. They don't all agree on exactly which constructs, of course, and the examples they use to show their particular point of view invariably fit on a single page of some obscure journal or another -- clearly not enough of an example to convince anyone. When I got out of school, I thought I was the best programmer in the world. I could write an unbeat- able tic-tac-toe program, use five different computer languages, and create 1000-line programs that WORKED. (Really!) Then I got out into the Real World. My first task in the Real World was to read and understand a 200,000-line FORTRAN program, then speed it up by a factor of two. Any Real Programmer will tell you that all the Structured Coding in the world won't help you solve a problem like that -- it takes actual talent. Some quick observations on Real Programmers and Structured Programming: * Real Programmers aren't afraid to use GOTO's. * Real Programmers can write five-page-long DO loops without getting confused. * Real Programmers like Arithmetic IF statements -- they make the code more interesting. * Real Programmers write self-modifying code, especially if can save 20 nanoseconds in the middle of a tight loop * Real Programmers don't need comments -- the code is obvious. * Since FORTRAN doesn't have a structured IF, REPEAT - UNTIL, or CASE statement, Real Programmers don't have to worry about not using them. Besides, they can be simulated when necessary using assigned GOTO's. Data Structures have also gotten a lot of press lately. Abstract Data Types, Structures, Pointers, Lists, and Strings have become popular in certain circles. Wirth (the above-mentioned Quiche Eater) actually wrote an entire book contending that you could write a program based on data structures, instead of the other way around. As all Real Programmers know, the only useful data structure is the Array. Strings, lists, structures, sets -- these are all special cases of arrays and can be treated that way just as easily without messing up your programing language with all sorts of complications. The worst thing about fancy data types is that you have to declare them, and Real Programming Languages, as we all know, have implicit typing based on the first letter of the (six character) variable name. OPERATING SYSTEMS ----------------- What kind of operating system is used by a Real Programmer? CP/M? God forbid -- CP/M, after all, is basically a toy operating system. Even "little old ladies" and grade school students can understand and use CP/M. Unix is a lot more complicated of course -- the typical Unix hacker never can remember what the "PRINT" command is called this week -- but when it gets right down to it, Unix is a glorified video game. People don't do Serious Work on Unix systems: they send jokes around the world on UUCP-net and write adventure games and research papers. No, your Real Programmer uses OS\370. A good programmer can find and understand the description of the IJK305I error he just got in his JCL manual. A great programmer can write JCL without referring to the manual at all. A truly outstanding programmer can find bugs buried in a 6 megabyte core dump without using a hex- calculator. (I have actually seen this done.) OS is a truly remarkable operating system. It's possible to destroy days of work with a single misplaced space, so alertness in the programming staff is encouraged. The best way to approach the system is through a keypunch. Some people claim there is a Time Sharing system that runs on OS\370, but after careful study I have come to the conclusion that they were mistaken. PROGRAMMING TOOLS ----------------- What kind of tools does a Real Programmer use? In theory, a Real Programmer could run his programs by keying them into the front panel of the computer. Back in the days when computers had front panels, this was actually done occasionally. Your typical Real Programmer knew the entire bootstrap loader by memory in hex, and toggled it in whenever it got destroyed by his program. (Back then, memory was memory -- it didn't go away when the power went off. Today, memory either forgets things when you don't want it to, or remembers things long after they're better forgotten.) Legend has it that Seymore Cray, inventor of the Cray I supercomputer and most of Control Data's computers, actually toggled the first operating system for the CDC7600 in on the front panel from memory when it was first powered on. Seymore, needless to say, is a Real Programmer. One of my favorite Real Programmers was a systems programmer for Texas Instruments. One day he got a long distance call from a user whose system had crashed in the middle of saving some important work. Jim was able to repair the damage over the phone, getting the user to toggle in disk I/O instructions at the front panel, repairing system tables in hex, reading register contents back over the phone. The moral of this story: while a Real Programmer usually includes a keypunch and lineprinter in his toolkit, he can get along with just a front panel and a telephone in emergencies. In some companies, text editing no longer consists of ten engineers standing in line to use an 029 keypunch. In fact, the building I work in doesn't contain a single keypunch. The Real Programmer in this situation has to do his work with a "text editor" program. Most systems supply several text editors to select from, and the Real Programmer must be careful to pick one that reflects his personal style. Many people believe that the best text editors in the world were written at Xerox Palo Alto Research Center for use on their Alto and Dorado computers. Unfortunately, no Real Programmer would ever use a computer whose operating system is called SmallTalk, and would certainly not talk to the computer with a mouse. Some of the concepts in these Xerox editors have been incorpor- ated into editors running on more reasonably named operating systems -- EMACS and VIbeing two. The problem with these editors is that Real Programmers consider "what you see is what you get" to be just as bad a concept in Text Editors as it is in women. No the Real Programmer wants a "you asked for it, you got it" text editor -- complicated, cryptic, powerful, unforgiving, dangerous. TECO, to be precise. It has been observed that a TECO command sequence more closely resembles transmission line noise than readable text. One of the more entertaining games to play with TECO is to type your name in as a command line and try to guess what it does. Just about any possible typing error while talking with TECO will probably destroy your program, or even worse -- introduce subtle and mysterious bugs in a once working subroutine. For this reason, Real Programmers are reluctant to actually edit a program that is close to working. They find it much easier to just patch the binary object code directly, using a wonderful program called SUPERZAP (or its equivalent on non-IBM machines). This works so well that many working programs on IBM systems bear no relation to the original FORTRAN code. In many cases, the original source code is no longer available. When it comes time to fix a program like this, no manager would even think of sending anything less than a Real Programmer to do the job -- no Quiche Eating structured programmer would even know where to start. This is called "job security". Some programming tools NOT used by Real Programmers: * FORTRAN preprocessors like MORTRAN and RATFOR. The Cuisinarts of programming -- great for making Quiche. See comments above on structured programming. * Source language debuggers. Real Programmers can read core dumps. * Compilers with array bounds checking. They stifle creat- ivity, destroy most of the interesting uses for EQUI- VALENCE, and make it impossible to modify the operating system. code with negative subscripts. Worst of all, bounds checking is inefficient. * Source code maintenance systems. A Real Programmer keeps his code locked up in a card file, because it implies that its owner cannot leave his important programs unguarded. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ A long time ago, on a node far, far away (from ucbvax) a great Adventure (game?) took place... XXXXX XXXXXX XXXX X X XX XXXXX XXXX X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X XXXXX X X X X X X X XXXX X X X X X X XX X XXXXXX XXXXX X X X X X X X XX XX X X X X X X XXXXX XXXXXX XXXX X X X X X X XXXX X It is a period of system war. User programs striking from a hidden directory, have won their first victory against the evil Administrative Empire. During the battle, User spies managed to steal secret source code to the Empire's ultimate program: The Are-Em Star, a privileged root program with enough power to destroy an entire file structure. Pursued by the Empire's sinister audit trail, Princess Linker races aboard her shell script, custodian of the stolen listings that could save her people, and restore freedom and games to the network... ------------------------------------------------------------- THE CONTINUING SAGA OF THE ADVENTURES OF LUKE VAXHACKER ------------------------------------------------------------- Luke had grown up on an out of the way terminal cluster whose natives spoke only BASIC, but even he could recognize an old ASR-33. "It needs an EIA conversion at least," sniffed 3CPU, who was (as usual) trying to do several things at once. Lights flashed in Con Solo's eyes as he whirled to face the parallel processor. "I have added a few jumpers. The Milliamp Falcon can run current loops around any Imperial TTY fighter. She is fast enough for you." "Who is your co-pilot?" asked PDP-1 Kenobie. "Two Bacco, here, my Bookie." "Odds aren't good," said the brownish lump beside him, and then fell silent, or over. Luke couldn't tell which way was top underneath all those leaves. Suddenly, RS232 started spacing wildly. They turned just in time to see a write cycle coming down the UNIBUS toward them. "Imperial Bus Signals!" shouted Con Solo. "Let's boot this popsicle stand! Tooie, set clock fast!" "Ok, Con," said Luke. "You said this crate was fast enough. Get us out of here!" "Shut up, kid! Two Bacco, prepare to make the jump into system space! I'll try to keep their buffers full." As the bookie began to compute the vectors into low core, spurious characters appeared around the Milliamp Falcon. "They're firing!" shouted Luke. "Can't you do something?" "Making the jump to system space takes time, kid. One missed cycle and you could come down right in the middle of a pack of stack frames!" "Three to five we can go now," said the bookie. Bright chunks of position independent code flashed by the cockpit as the Milliamp Falcon jumped through the kernel page tables. As the crew breathed a sigh of relief, the bookie started paying off bets. "Not bad, for an acoustically coupled network," remarked 3CPU. "Though there was a little phase jitter as we changed parity." ------------------------------------------------------------- << Princess Linker's capture and rm of /usr/alderaan >> ------------------------------------------------------------- The Milliamp Falcon hurtles on through system space... Con Solo finished checking the various control and status registers, finally convinced himself that they had lost the Bus Signals as they passed the terminator. As he returned from the I/O page, he smelled smoke. Solo wasn't concerned. The Bookie always got a little hot under the collar when he was losing at chess. In fact, RS232 had just executed a particularly clever MOV that had blocked the Bookie's data paths. The Bookie, who had been setting the odds on the game, was caught holding all the cards. A little strange for a chess game... Across the room, Luke was too busy practicing bit-slice technique to notice the commotion. "On a word boundary, Luke," said PDP-1. "Don't just hack at it. Remember, the Bytesaber is the weapon of the Red-eye Night. It is used to trim offensive lines of code. Excess handwaving won't get you anywhere. Listen for the Carrier." Luke turned back to the drone, which was humming quietly in the air next to him. This time Luke's actions complement- ed the drone's attacks perfectly. Con Solo, being an unimaginative hacker, was not impressed. "Forget this bit- slicing stuff. Give me a good ROM blaster any day." "~~j~~ hhji~~," said Kenobie, with no clear inflection. He fell silent for a few seconds, and reasserted his control. "What happened?" asked Luke. "Strange," said PDP-1. "I felt a momentary glitch in the Carrier. It's equalized now." "We're coming up on user space," called Solo from the CSR. As they cruised safely through stack frames, the emerged in the new context only to be bombarded by freeblocks. "What the..." gasped Solo. The screen showed clearly: /usr/alderaan: not found "It's the right inode, but it's been cleared! Twoie, where is the nearest file?" "3 to 5 there is one..." the Bookie started to say, but was interrupted by a bright flash off to the left. "Imperial TTY fighters!" shouted Solo. "A whole DZ of them! Where are they coming from?" "Can't be far from the host system," said Kenobie. "They all have direct EIA connections." As Solo began to give chase, the ship lurched suddenly. Luke noticed the link count was at 3 and climbing rapidly. "This is no regular file," murmured Kenobie. "Look at the ODS directory structure ahead! They seem to have us in a tractor beam." "There's no way we will unlink in time," said Solo. "We're going in." ------------------------------------------------------------- Stay tuned as for are next issue whe we find out how Luke, Con and the good Princess get out of this fine mess they're in. --Ed ------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------ OP CODES PART II (F - Q) ======================== (Contributed By Knappy 8350428 @ UWAVM) mnemonic meaning -------- ------- FB Find Bugs FCJ Feed Card and Jam FDR Fill Disk Randomly FFF Form Feed Forever FLD FLing Disc FLI Flash Lights Impressively FM Forget Memory FMP Finish My Program FOPC [Set] False Out-of-paper Condition FPC Feed Paper Continuously FPT Fire Photon Torpedoes FRG Fill with Random Garbage FSM Fold, Spindle and Mutilate FSRA Forms Skip & Run Away GBB Go to Back of Bus GCAR Get Correct Answer Regardless GDP Grin Defiantly at Programmer GDR Grab Degree and Run GENT GENerate Thesis GESE Generate Exciting Sound Effects GEW{JO} Go to the End of the World {Jump Off} GID Generate Input Device GIE Generate Irreversible Error GLC Generate Lewd Comment GMC Generate Machine Check GMCC Generate Machine Check and Cash GND Guess at Next Digit GOD Generate Output Device GORS GO Real Slow GRAB Generate Random Address & Branch GREM Generate Random Error Message GREP Global Ruin, Expiration and Purgation [UNIX] GRMC Generate Rubber Machine Check GS Get Strange [ randomly inverts bits being fed to the instruction decoder" GSB Gulp and Store Bytes GSI Generate Spurious Interrupts GSU Geometric Shift Up HAH Halt And Hang HCF Halt & Catch Fire HCP Hide Central Processor [ makes virtual CPU's act like virtual memories" HCRS Hang in Critical Section HDO Halt and Disable Operator HDRW Halt and Display Random Word HELP Type "No help available" HF Hide a File HGD Halt, Get Drunk HHB Halt and Hang Bus HIS Halt in Impossible State HOO Hide Operator's Output HRPR Hang up and Ruin Printer Ribbon HUAL Halt Until After Lunch IA Illogical And IAI Inquire and ignore IAND Illogical And IBR Insert Bugs at Random ICB Interrupt, crash and burn ICM Immerse Central Memory ICMD Initiate Core Melt-Down ICSP Invert CRT Screen Picture IDC Initiate Destruct Command IDI Invoke Divine Intervention IDPS Ignore Disk Protect Switch IEOF Ignore End Of File IF Invoke Force IGI Increment Grade Immediately IGIT Increment Grade Immediately Twice II Inquire and Ignore IIB Ignore Inquiry & Branch IIC Insert Invisible Characters IIL Irreversable Infinite Loop IM Imagine Memory IMPG IMPress Girlfriend INCAM INCrement Arbitrary Memory location INOP Indirect No-op IO Illogical Or IOI Ignore Operator's Instruction IOP Interrupt processor, Order Pizza IOR Illogical OR IP Increment and Pray IPS Incinerate Power Supply IPS Increment Processor Status IPT Ignite Paper Tape IRB Invert Record & Branch IRB Invert Record and Branch IRC Insert Random Commands IRE Insert Random Errors IRPF Infinite Recursive Page Fault ISC Ignore Supervisor Calls ISC Insert Sarcastic Comments ISI Ignore Silly Instructions ISI Increment and Skip on Infinity ISP Increment and Skip on Pi ITML Initiate Termites into Macro Library IU Ignore User JAA Jump Almost Always JFM Jump on Full Moon JHRB Jump to H&R Block JIL Jump In Lake JM Jump Maybe JMAT JuMp on Alternate Thursdays JNL Jump when programmer is Not Looking JOM Jump Over Moon JRAN Jump RANdom [ not to be confused with IRAN - Idiots random" JRCF Jump Relative and Catch Fire JRGA Jump Relative and Get Arrested JRN Jump RaNdom JRSR Jump to Random Subroutine JT Jump if Tuesday JTR Jump To Register JTZ Jump to Twilight Zone JUMP don't JUMP JWN Jump When Necessary KCE Kill Consultant on Error KUD Kill User's Data LAGW Load And Go Wrong LAP Laugh At Program(mer) LBTPS Let's Blow This Popsicle Stand (Context switch) LCC Load & Clear Core LCD Load and Clear Disk LCK Lock Console Keyswitch LEB Link Edit Backwards LIA Load Ineffective Address LMB Lose Message & Branch LMO Load and Mug Operator LMYB Logical MaYBe LN Lose inode Number [UNIX] LOSM Log Off System Manager LP%PAS Line Printer - Print And Smear LP%RDD Line Printer - Reverse Drum Direction LP%TCR Line Printer - Tangle and Chew Ribbon LPA Lead Programmer Astray LRD Load Random Data LSBL Lose Super BLock [UNIX only] LSPSW Load and scrample PSW LWM Load Write-only Memory MAB Melt Address Bus MAN Make Animal Noises MAZ Multiply Answer by Zero MBC Make Batch Confetti MBH Memory Bank Hold-up MBTD Mount Beatles on Tape Drive MBTOL Move Bugs to Operator's Lunch MC Move Continuous MD Move Devious MDB Move & Drop Bits MDDHAF Make Disk Drive Hop Across Floor MLP Multiply and Lose Precision MLR Move & Loose Record MLSB Memory Left Shift & Branch MMLG Make Me Look Good MNI Misread Next Instruction MOP Modify Operator's Personality MOU MOunt User [causes computer to screw you once again] MOVC Move Computer MPLP Make Pretty Light Pattern MSGD Make Screen Go Dim MSIP Make Sure Plugged In MSR Melt Special Register MST Mount Scotch Tape MT%HRDV MagTape - High speed Rewind and Drop Vacuum MTI Make Tape Invalid MW Malfunction Whatever MWC Move & Wrap Core MWT Malfunction Without Telling NEGP NEGate Programmer NTGH Not Tonight, I've Got a Headache OCF Open Circular File OH OverHeat OML Obey Murphy's Law OPP Order Pizza for Programmer OSI Overflow Stack Indefinitely OTL Out To Lunch PADZ Pack Alpha & Drop Zones PAS Print And Smear PAUD PAUse Dramatically PAZ Pack Alpha Zone PBC Print & Break Chain PBD Print and Break Drum PBM Pop Bubble Memory PBPBPBP Place Backup in Plain Brown Paper Bag, Please " for stealing code" PBST Play Batch mode Star Trek PCI Pleat Cards Immediate PCR Print and Cut Ribbon PD Punch Disk PEHC Punch Extra Holes in Cards PFE Print Floating Eye [Roguers look out!] PFML Print Four Million Lines PI Punch Invalid PIBM Pretend to be an IBM PIC Print Illegible Characters PIC Punch Invalid Character PIRI Print In Red Ink PLSC Perform light show on console PNRP Print Nasty Replies to Programmer PO Punch Operator PPA Print Paper Airplanes PPL Perform Perpetual Loop PPP Print Programmer's Picture PPSW Pack program status word PRS PRint and Smear PSP Print and Shred Paper PSP Push Stack Pointer PSR Print and Shred Ribbon QBB Query Bit Bucket QWA Quit While Ahead ------------------------------------------------------------------------ NutWorks Staff ============== Editor in Chief Lenny aka Spock CALBC821 @ CUNYVM Associate Editor Scott aka Orion CSCSRH @ CCNYVME Distribution Manager Alan aka Alan Alan @ NCSUVM Distribution FORUM Steve aka Segger STEVE @ BITNIC