my millionth zine #01 by James Hetfield

+-\-+-\-+-\-+-\-+-\-+-\-+-\-+-\-+-\-+-\-+-\-+-\-+-\-+-\-+-\-+-\-+-\-+-\-+-\-

welcome... let's start this off with a few ground rules... we 
(mmz) hate pip the angry youth (sellout).  no, it's more than just a hate, 
it's an extremely bitter taste on the levels of mango peels.  he is the 
natural born killer of m&t, and we really don't like that fellow.

so what are we going to do about it?

we're going to write an ENTIRE ZINE MOCKING HIS ZINE!#@!!@#!@$@#$!@ 
WOW, WE'RE MATURE@!#!@%#@!#$ YEEE HAW#@!$!%@!#$^!@#$

+-\-+-\-+-\-+-\-+-\-+-\-+-\-+-\-+-\-+-\-+-\-+-\-+-\-+-\-+-\-+-\-+-\-+-\-+-\-

since my recent hiatus from writing pickles has ended, you're going to see 
quite a bit of releases from me.  spurratic yes, but does it have quality? 
i will leave that to you the reader.  some people actually have the 
misconception that i care what people think about my anus;  i have no 
customer base, i have no profits, and i turn girls gay.  this leads me to 
the conclusing that i don't really have to give two flying fucks about 
what some idiot in new jersey/cali/whereever thinks about me, especially 
someone who can't even get a non-angstful handle; but we're not going to say 
any names.  

+-\-+-\-+-\-+-\-+-\-+-\-+-\-+-\-+-\-+-\-+-\-+-\-+-\-+-\-+-\-+-\-+-\-+-\-+-\-

people look forward towards the releases of doomed to obscurity, slinky, 
and other misadventures of mogel that are logged into the 2599 list of 
t-files.  what ever happened to a zine that reviewed other zines within 
itself?  where there is one, there is the other;  where there's the 
performer there is always the critic.  i take this upon myself, i 
self-appoint myself to the level of zine critic.  when there is a new dto 
release, we will be there.  when mogel decides to cross state borders in 
spite of his parole, we will be there.  when an appocolypse-like storm 
comes up the east coast, we will be there to say what rattle had to say 
abou that.  when cerkit decides that the time is right to release a new 
issue of slinky, we will be there.  when pip decides to start up his 
gasp AGAIN, we won't even be in the neighborhood.

you don't think that i want to report on shit _that_ boring?  i may not 
have a life, but i at least have _standards_.

+-\-+-\-+-\-+-\-+-\-+-\-+-\-+-\-+-\-+-\-+-\-+-\-+-\-+-\-+-\-+-\-+-\-+-\-+-\-

i'll also release reviews on albums, books, movies, and whatever else i 
deem fit to grace the pages of mmz.  stories?  of couse we'll have 
stories here... it wouldn't be a jamesyzine if there weren't any stories.  i 
think that if you're reading my zines, then you have an interest in what 
i put out, so i'd like to know what you'd want me to write about.  maybe 
i'll take someone's input into consideration.

jh@wwti.iway.net / u427@ng.nexy.org

+-\-+-\-+-\-+-\-+-\-+-\-+-\-+-\-+-\-+-\-+-\-+-\-+-\-+-\-+-\-+-\-+-\-+-\-+-\-

that's about it for the first issue of mmz... take it easy.

-James Hetfield