___ _ _ _______ __ __ / _ \| | | |_ __ | ____\ \ / / # 13 | '_ \| | | | | | | '_ \| _| \ V / | |_) | |_| | |_| | |_) | |___ | | (k3wl a55 azzk33 provided | .__/ \___/ \___/| .__/|_____| |_| by m0gel) |_| |_| = "poupey, our poop is better than nevada, but just barely" - nybar = = = No good name ------------ Nybar "Eye'm da don!" Froboy "Yumm.. isn't dat a widdle derivative?" Nybar "MY WORK IS NOT DERIVATIVE!!!!!! HERE! LOOK! I WROTE A.. *NEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW*.. NON DERIVATIVE STORY!" Froboy "...Call me ishmael.." Froboy "Forget it nybar..." Nybar "Yum... kax." Froboy "Soap.. anteroom.. he vhaz namped yump.. kax." Nybar "It's me birthday.. can I love a lock of the fro?" Froboy "Light or dark?" Stupid narrator "At the begining of time.. in a land far off, part of the fro was died in the river styx.. making it BLACK, like the EVIL in mens hearts." Froboy "You may never know.. the POWER; of the fro!" Nybar "Hmm.. I like that.. rhymes.. know.. fro..know..fro.." Froboy "I cut you some neutral fro" Nybar "Know..fro..know..fro" Froboy "SHUT UP!" Nybar "Shut.. ututut" Froboy "FALL SILENT!" Nybar "Silent.. ilent ilent ilent" FIN ################################################# klukaklui I'm a chicken. FIN! ################################################# Intro; At first, he was a gardener. Then one day.. ask he was going on the bus to work.. his mind was pre-occupied. He managed to leave behind his FAVIORITE clod of dirt. He got out, and realising his mistake.. sought to correct it. He's been running after that bus for 20 years now. He has an elite group of followers who would do anything for him; They run together.. they sleep together (eeww) and they EAT together. These are the adventures of NETTLE.. THE... WIZZER -------------------------- ----------------------- ===================== Nettle, The wizzer "Why the HELL are we running?!" Follower #1 "Shut the fuck up and keep running, or we'll lag behind" Nettle, The Wizzer "Yeahyeah.. ok" Next Story.. see more of the amazing adventures of NETTLE.. THE.. WIZZZZEEERRRRRR!!!!! ---------- Intro; At first.. he was a gardener. Then one day.. on the way to work, his mind was pre-occupied. He managed to leave behind his FAVIORITE clump of dirt. He vowed to correct his Mistake then and there. He's been running after the bus for 20 years now. He has an elite group of followers.. who run with him.. sleep with him .. ewwww .. and do other.. stuff.. with him. He is: NETTLE..... THE...... WIZZZERRR!! Scientific Follower "Wizzer, I love you SO much that while we have been running together, I have made you a pair of rocket jet boots." Nettle, the Wizzer "Those look like roller-skates" Scientific Follower "I was a little short on supplies .. hyay" Nettle, the Wizzer "Welll.. if they'll help me catch the bus.. I'l put em on" Nettle, The Wizzer "Shit.. I don't know how to ride in these things!!!!" Nettle, The Wizzer "OW!" Scientific Follower "Dang... hyay" ################################################# 1996: An URBAN Oddessy ----------------------- Bad hangover and little sleep. To much coffee.. Not enough effect. My name is jubjub.. for those of you who don't know. It's a normal day in my life; another night in a cheap motel. As I was settling down to watch some tv and listen to some music.. I was distracted by a moaning sound.. and a clawing at the door. I opened the door. It was my brother and then roomate nybar. He was extremely beaten up. He looked like somethin outta the toilet. I asked him what had happened.. and he uttered one one singular; disturbing word: `Zinboobi'. I said `NO.. NOT Zinboobi!' right before he passed out. Let me explain about that name. Now.. we used to be prize-wrestlers in world wrestling federation. We were the best out there.. and we wanted to prove it. Those were the good days. Anyway... about the name Zinboobi; The name Zinboobi comes from a match we once had. At the end of the wrestling season.. there is the finale; the champs fight eachother. They were the other champ. We.. of course.. had to strive feverously until we beat them. We worked out for weeks.. often until we passed out. Whenever we talked to them.. they seemed well-rested.. and confident. And they never seemed to exercise. When the big match came.. Nybar went to say `let the best man win' in the nybar-way. He came back disillusioned about wrestlings authenticity. He told me he had found STERIODS in their warm-up room. My hopes, dreams, and thoughts shattered around me. I would never be the same. He thought we had to throw the match.. but I knew that if we threw the match.. we would be no better then they were. We would be letting down millions of fans. It would be like shoeless joe throwing the world series. We had to fight. The fighting was fierce. I nearly got KILLED. Good thing it was alternating. Nybar bravely fought Eziekial Zinboobi while I rested. He managed to win; because I had weakened him. Then.. I fought abraham Zinboobi to a standstill. We had won. They swore revenge. Only later did the manager tell me he had known about the steriods... and if we told.. we wouldn't live to talk about it. That was the same day he got Me and nybar's resignation from world-class federation wrestling. We used to be rich, happy, and beloved. Now we were jobless; joyless, and avoided. Still.. we fought clean. When nybar came to.. he told me that while he was bringing the groceries home.. he was jumped by both zinboobie's at the same time. He didn't stand a chance. And he said they were bigger and stronger then before. He also told me that they were coming for us. He said they said something like `NYBAR YOU BASTARD! HERES A MESSAGE FOR THAT BROTHER OF YOURS: THE BIG MAN DOESN'T LIKE RATS!' It was tournament day all over again. I hadn't said anything about it. But then I realised it. NYBAR! YOU COULDN'T HAVE!! Nybar "I'm sorry man. I couldn't stand it anymore. The Constant guilt. The searing pain. The thought that scum like that weren't kicked out. Searing my sould. Grinding my bones. I haven't slept for the thought of it. I reported it to my lawyer. He says we have a big case." Me "I understand how you feel man. I've often thought of telling about those scum myself. But I couldn't bear the thought of what they might do to me and mine" Nybar "The only way we are ever going to live this through is together. The court date is the 21'st." Me "THATS A WEEK FROM NOW!" Nybar "I know. And no one *REALLY* seems to believe me. Witness protection is refused. Today is going to be ... difficult." Me "Today IS going to be difficult. You look bad. Sleep" .... Thats one of the good things about nybar.. no need to tell. him twice. He was sleeping like a baby by the time his head hit the pillow. If I had a pillow. But it was time I started following my own advice. I hadn't slept for a long time to. It was a big burder off my shouders that nybar had told them. I could now sleep in peace. Now.. another burden. Keeping alive until the trial. Out of the frying pan and into the fire.. thats me. No need for serious thought now. Only need for sleep. ..... I slept a long.. dreamless night. I woke up feeling semi refreashed. Right when I woke up.. something hit me. It was a smell. It smelled like pancakes and sausage. Nybar was cooking breakfast. No need to get jumpy. I decided to walk into the kitchen and get my fair share. I was half asleep.. so it didn't really hit me until I went into the kitchen. The place was wrecked. There had obviously been a huge struggle. Nybar was no where to be found.. and belive me.. I looked. On the door of the apartment was a note. It said that if I ever wanted to see my brother again.. I had to go to a particular house that was just around the block. If I brought help, nybar's life was forfeit. If I didn't come.. nybar was as good as dead. It was a no win situation. I wish nybar were here... but he was still busy being kidnapped. Those BASTARDS!!! They wrecked my apartment. They broke into my abode. They kidnapped my brother. I dropped to my knees, and yelled.. in a star trek-like way "ZINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNBBBBBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBBBBBBBBIII AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" This.... was.... a.... SHOWDOWN! When I arrived in the building specified by the note.. everything was dark.. with no light switches in sight. I yelled; quite stupidly, in hindsight; "HELLO!?$#% YOU BETTER BE HERE Zinboobi'S! AND YOU TO, BIG MAN!" and then waited. No answer. I shouted again. Still no answer. Right when I was considering going out and getting help.. I heard a voice: "Good night, Mr. Jubjub" WHACK! When I awoke.. I was in a room as dark as the one I was previously in. I was sitting, tied up.. to a chair at a desk.. under a very bright, hot.. light. And then I noticed something else. I wasn't alone in this room. I didn't know it then.. but it was the big man. The big man "Greetings, Mr. Jubjub" Jubjub "WHY HAVE YOU BROUGHT ME HERE?!@ WHY HAVE YOU DESTROYED EVERYTHING THATS EVER MATTERED?#@?%@#% The big man "Isn't it obvious? You've threatened my operation!! And about me destroying everything that ever mattered to you.. I assure you that your brother is quite intact" Jubjub "WHERE IS HE?$!~@#@%" The big man "He could be... anywhere. muahahhahahaha!" Jubjub "Why have you brought me here?!#?$" The big man "To extend a little.. offer." Jubjub "Oh.. an OFFER eh? Like WHAT.. SCUM!?" The Big Man "You and your brother used to be the best wrestlers I ever had. The public loved you. If you would just.. drop the charges...." Me "NEVER!" The Big Man "Maybe you don't feel like co-operating right now. A little nap might help your temper. Hanz, franz; if you please?" WHACK I woke up in his basement. When I saw the door.. I knew there was no escape. It was bolted, and re-inforced. There was one upside. Nybar was there.. looking better then I probably did. Having nothing to do.. we decided to tell eachother what happened. Heres nybar's story: Nybar "I woke up at around eight. I was really hungry.. so I decided to make breakfast. Then I heard someone knocking on the door. It was the pizza guy. Still being pretty tired.. I didn't notice that it was 8:35 in the morning. He asked if I wanted to have his pizza... and I said yeah. When I opened it.. alot of gas came out. I woke up here." Jubjub "So why was the apartment wrecked?" Nybar "I dunno.. I guess they just decided to trash the place" Jubjub "They don't only cheat.. gamble.. and other things I'm sure.. they're JERKS!" .... Just then I heard something. It was the door. Someone opened it a crack and threw a loaf of bread in. It was *EXTREMELY* stale. Someone said `hahahahah.. enjoy your cement bread!!!'. It LITERALLY had cement in it. It was hard as a brick. I made use of it in an unforseen way. I threw it at the wall. Now.. the wall was pretty flimsy.. and I saw one brick that was extra loose. I threw the cement-bread at it and it gave in. From there.. we were able to pry loose enough other bricks to open a hole big enough to crawl through. WE WERE FREE!! To be continued..... -------------------- extro - nybes My poor cat nybar.. she is gone on vacation. Damn those Hendrixsons.. they have her~$@!#!@#%)!#(+ I KNOW IT!!!!!!!!! I'll kill every last one of them with my own 2 feet! I MEAN HANDS%#!!@$!@$ !@$!@$!@)$*!%#+)!*%#) --------------------- /^^^^^^^\ *#@!#*$) <> <> PPPPPPP $$$sssss gay gay / (====) | ll----ll <> <> P P $$$ gay gay / _______/ ;; ;; <> <> P P $$$ gay gay bye bye*!@#&(!@& / / :: :: <> <> PPPPPPP .$$$$$$$ gay / / ||____|| <> <> P $$$ gay /__/ I______I <><><><> P ,$$$$$$$ gay