OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO oOOOO OOOO. OOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" .OOOOOO OOOOOo OOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOO oOOOOOOO OOOOOOO. OOOO oOOOO OOOO .OOOO OOOO OOOOOOOOo OOOO OOOO" OOOO oOOOO OOOO OOOO "OOOO. OOOO OOOOo .OOOO' OOOO .OOOO" OOOO OOOO OOOOoOOOO "OOOO. oOOOO OOOO oOOOOOOO..OOOO OOOO "OOOOOOO OOOOoOOOO" OOOO .OOOO"""OOOOOOOO OOOO OOOOOO "OOOOOOO' OOOO oOOOO ""OOOO OOOO "OOOO OOOOOO |-----------------------------------------------------------------------------| | | | There Ain't No Justice | | | | #73 | | | |-----------------------------------------------------------------------------| - Retrospection - by Agnostic Messiah boo! it's me again, you're friendly neighborhood messiah. just got done looking through the older tanj files for some inspiration. didn't help much.. but that seven derfs is a good one.. definately.. boffo yuks.. anyhoo.. things have changed so drastically since last year it isnt even funny. just reading over old buffers, old tanjes, and old derf files bring back memories.. wwowowowo. back then the big thing was to 'bash goober!'. still is, sorta, to some people. i dunno, he/i/everyone is just plain different nowadays.. everyone seems to get along a helluva lot better.. i dun get why. it's kinda depressing, ya know, seeing yer good friends going off to college and all. wow, lets see, kari, gleen, creon, spart.. umm umm Im missing many others Im sure, and my apologies to them.. they're just plain not gonna be here anymore. weird feeling. i suppose new geeks will turn up, as they always have a habit of doing.. like kitten, and willis.. oh well, whatever happens, happens, i suppose.. still gonna be strange. hmm. i was sitting here, plopped in front of the computer for a good long time, talking to da geeks on c/c about some guy with the handle "Dr. Love", who tries to help people. i suppose helping people is a great plan and all, but this Doc doesnt know when to shut the fuck up. people say he's helped them out a great deal.. i dont get it. how can a complete stranger help?! isn't that why people have friends?! so they can talk to them and feel secure that they wont flip out on you or say, "my god, you're one fucked up bastard!" hmm. i dunno. people always say, "oh, people are so confusing," or "men are so confusing," or "women are so confusing,".. bleh. people are never confusing when you know their thought processes.. which is something i often try to do. i think, "why does this person say that? why do they do the things they do?" usually helps me understand people. might work fer you. i'm still just this guy. it's weird.. whenever i see something(someone?) i want, i go for it, but it's not really there. is it just me!? anyone!? "yes loc, it's called being frustrated" why thank you, disembodied mind. bbsing is a strange world, it is it is. i call up the friendly chat system local to me often, to get the latest news&rumors, for a good time. i smile when i hear of all these guys jumping over a certain female (she knows who she is!), which is a perfectly natural occurance. but i find it completely fucked up when guys, who havent even MET this female in question, decide that she is 'theirs' and that she, of course, must be his. usually, i laugh at these people. not in their face tho. maybe i should start that, just to make them take a second look at how completely ridiculous they are being. i, of course, at one time had an interest in the female in question.. she probably knew/knows.. but it just changed into a really good friendship. i dunno how else to explain it. hmm. i read on the friendly "wall" on this local chat system how cyber/relationships never work.. and I laugh once more.. as I see good friends of mine with the same partner for about a year.. i dunno.. just like life I suppose.. then again, this is my life.. and why is that so sad in your mind? "aww, poor guy, lives his life off a BBS, how lame." well, well, well, its not the BBS you slly narrowminded SOB, its the people there. ug.people should shut the fuck up more often and think of what they say. me included, i suppose, i don't pretend to be an all-knowing sage. why yes, this file *is* babble. it is, of course, fit for human consumption. you really shouldnt write files like this at 5am. brainwracking. there are a few people that like to bash people who babble in this way..i suppose it can be annoying when you are trying to kill the monster-o-da-day in the local arena and someone is trying to express their emotions.. hmm. now that i look at it in this way, perhaps its not the babble thats annoying people, it's when it's being presented.. perhaps i'll recommend to this certain yonderbabbler to present it all in one big file, like this, and spare those who havent the time, patience, or intelligence to read it online. hmm. "why yes, these are bugle boy jeans" or something. Im not one who watches TV much. TV is just plain evil, thats all there is to it. no interaction what-so-ever. i cant wait for the fun VR technology.. no more of this TV bullshit.. no more of this computer bullshit even.. wont even see a keyboard like the one Im using now.. instead of booting up a term program and telling it to call your local chat system, the PVR system (personal virtual reality) would call up the local chat and project a fun hologram of you into a virtual room, full of other holos. and of course, it'll be complete with Tele-Arena v. 23.0, where you actually wear the appropriate armor and use the right weapon.. I wonder if Sean will have the game done by then.. Prolly not.. Bleh.. Im just looking foward to when people can walk into their PVR system, load up a Star Wars hologram game, and fly an Xwing. that would be spiffy-as-hell. why did i mention all that? because i wanted to get it off my chest.. thats why. if ya didnt like it.. well.. tough. :) 5:25am. i hear birds. i can't believe how much i've changed since january of this year. i wonder why it is.. could it be stuff i've learned talking to friends? could it be the most intense emotional experience you can have(acid)? timothy leary once said, "people need to leave their minds before they can come to their senses." right on, man. nowadays, i can cope with things a lot better. i don't flip out on the wrong people anymore for no reason. i'm usually in a decent mood, too. i dunno why. it just happened. hmm. my grandparents were here earlier (last night?). got a nice big lecture on the importance of school. and the importance of joining activites in HS. I pretty much shot down the idea of joining clubs.. I was told to join a writing club.. i said, "why? i don't get along with most of the people in school, why should i put my time and effort into working with them?" sigh. whatever happens, happens. i just cant wait til i'm out of here. maybe i'll end up like mij, who now appears to have taken a renewed interest in schooling and stuff of that nature. or maybe i'll keep on the same mental track i'm on now, that college and all of the bullshit that goes with it is pointless, as it doesnt matter what you do in the practical world of colleges and things of that nature.. blarg! it's a complicated issue. we'll all end up the same when we're dead, right? right. oh, yeah, well, suicide is always an alternative, but it's just doesnt turn me on as much anymore. prolly because nowadays i'll just talk to friends about it,and see how they're in the same boat.. midas well enjoy it then. "sheesh, he's not done YET!?" i still think religion is a scam. the basic teachings of the religions are useful tho. i really enjoy the basic ideal of Wicca "and if it harm none, do what thou wilt." or something of that sort, Im probably greatly offending some Wiccan with botching that line up, but, oh well, shoot me. i think i'll wrap this up now, and send it off to who should get it. i feel like saying hey to a few people first, so bear with me. Kari/Dreamer/Bitch/Obnoxious One/Banana Girl/Jungle Woman/Rasta (wow, and you say I have a lot of nicknames ): i can't believe yer going off to college and leaving us silly geeks back here in dumpy NJ. i dunno how some people will react to you leafin', but i'll miss ya. nono, it's not a hormone thing, you've been a real good friend for the past year now, and i'm sad to see you leave. see ya at thanksgiving tho! :) Zodiac/Lupus Yonderchild/BiONiC FlEa/Zawd: heh, well, no big long sad goodbye for you :). you and i seem to be on the same wavelength a lot, especially in writings and stuff like this, so i'll send this off to ya first.. you've been pretty cool in the past year, no matter what some assholes might have said about you (you know who they are, and if you need me to spell em out, ask me later:) wow. these things are getting pretty long. oh well. Flammable Fuzzball/Fuzzball/Fuzzy/Syd the Hindu-Satanist Transvestite/Webster Watcher: hmm. i dunno what to say, yer prolly one o' the coolest people i've met on that evil chat system. and i'm glad i've found a fellow Websterite! :) Ulycees/Blade Runner/Yooly/Paul #2: I DONT HAVE YOUR RUNESTAFF! AGGGG! oh wait, you didnt ask. sigh. anyway, we dont always see eye-to-eye on a bunch of issues, but you've been pretty cool over the last year. thanks a lot for the free GnR exposure too :).. I think you brainwashed me or something to turn me into a GnR fan.. i dont get it. :) Subroc/Joon/Joon the Baptist: not many people seem to be able to get to know you very well, since you always have that cheerful "fuck off" demeanor :), but i'm pretty darn glad to count you as a friend. Specter/Spectre/Maniac/Goober/Fizban/(endless different handles with typos in them): ack. we went from being pretty much enemies last year to friends this year. last summer was really all outta wack. i kinda miss being growled at every 5 minutes because I said hi to Dreamer :).. (kidding!) but i'm glad we're pretty good friends now. ack. this is gonna take forever. :) Kitten Kaboodle/Hippy Chick/Kara/Kanoodle/ Nood-a-licious-Nooooooooooooooooooooooooodle/etc etc: eep. after pestering you to call c/c last year, you finally started calling regularly. and at the first c/c fest you were at, you practically ignored me. :( But in 6 months you've become a real good friend o' mine.. dont go nowhere! :) Zoso/Willis/B A S S master/Half-Assed Monkey Boy/Spectre Rejectre/etc: you seem to be pretty much in the same boat I was in last year. dont be so down alla time, learn to live with it. it aint so bad. btw: women aren't everything! :) i'm serious. lets see.. who did I miss.. oh yeah.. Spartacus/KelAnth/James/Spart/Spurt/etc: hmm. we've known eachother for over 10 years now (thats scary), and now yer goin' off to Pitt fer college. i still think thats fucked up, yer goin' to college before me.. sigh.. well anyway.. I pretty much said my piece in yer yearbook.. but to reinterate.. You've been a great friend, and I'll miss ya when ya go to college. Urethris/Pisstube/Urine Luck(I love that one)/Whipped Boy :>: yeehaw. you went from full-time sick0 geek (remember "sick sick sick"?) to part-time anti-TA geek. i dont blame ya, really. You said once a few weeks (was it months?) how you didnt feel like a geek anymore. well, show up to more fests damn it! we miss ya, pissah! :) only a few more.. it's the home stretch! :) Midnite Raider/Midnite/Mij/Bloaf/Jim: you've probably helped me the most by telling me the absolute truth in situations when I needed it. theres just waaaaaay too many situations to recall to bring them all up here. but i thank you, muchly. last but not least.. Marauder/Cyberwolf/Gleen/HoM BoY: yer another great friend o' mine over the last year.. i'm too tired now to go into great detail :).. and to everyone I missed who will be really pissed off since I didnt say hey to 'em (meaning Phil/Nap, Baz, Burd, JD, Kelvin (sorry about the rug