### ### ### ### ### #### ### ### ### #### ### ### ##### ### ### ### ### ### ### ### ### ### ##### ### ### ########## ### ### ########## ### ### ### ### Underground eXperts United Presents... ####### ## ## ####### # # ####### ####### ####### ## ## ## ## ##### ## ## # ## #### ## ## #### # # ####### ## #### ## ## ## ## ##### ## ## # ## ## ## ####### ####### # # ####### ## ####### [ Forest Thump ] [ By DIzzIE ] ____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ _)_)_)_)_)_(_(_(_(_(_ aight: presenting.....an eatwhileyoushit production, in association with fuckwhileyoukill unmotion antipictures: Forest Thump BY: DIzzIE -------------- [scene: forest thump is sitting on a bench, wearing short white shorts, gulping down chocolates, whith the chocolates smeared all over his face, zoom in on the side of the chocolate box: "BigMomma's Laxative Products," an old lady comes along] Forest: Hello M'am Lady: Hello son F: would u like a chocolate? L: no thanks sonny, Grandma's not falling for that one again...no siryeee F: my drunken-dadda always said: whores are like a box of sweet sweet cheap chocolates: you cant stop at one, you gotta eat the whole fucking box, and then go out and buy yourself another box, and then another one, until your wife finds out that you've been spending your money on chocolates and takes out her Winchester....... L: that's nice sonny, grandma's a little hung over from last night's Tequila and Bingo Bash, so would you mind shutting the fuck up? F: quite allright grand........[LOUD FART]OOOOOOOOOH! I say, i gots to go to the bathroom... [forest jumps up, and starts running in slow motion, the "eye of the tiger" song starts playing, there are lots of kids on the sides of the street holding vodka and Jack Daniel's whiskey bottles, yelling "you've got the runs Forest, you've got the runs!" slowly an unsightful bulge appears, you can see the brown staining his white shorts, then a thick brown liquid begins to drizzle down the side of his leg, leaving a trail on the sidewalk, insert a bunch of farts along the way] F: oh goodness, I darn gone and pooped in mah pahnts, daddy's g'nna beat me again... [forest finally reaches the bathroom, savagely pulling out a fishing/gutting knife and jabbing it into the guy who's already sitting on the toilet, killing him and pushing him out of the way] BathroomGuy: Hey what the fuck? You sick ass mother fucker, what the fuck are you doing? F:i be using the skills the american army taught us in vi-et-nam [all the while stabbing the guy] they call this the "carving contest" its what the americans did to all the vietnamese children, the ones whom they didnt use for sex anyway... BG: aaaaaagh, I'm dead..... [Forest successfully sits down on the toilet,the music stops. Absolute Silence. Then we hear a satisfying loud "thump" and forest slumps to the side, dead] --Fin!-- haha, wasn't that funny? no? fuck you too. email me: xcon0@yahoo.com --------------------------------------------------------------------------- uXu #573 Underground eXperts United 2000 uXu #573 http://uXu.org/ ---------------------------------------------------------------------------