"The Road To Womanhood" [Matt Groening]

  First pixie cut
  First time crossing the street without holding mom's hand
  First Barbie
  First major Barbie accessory
  First time putting on mom's clothes
  First mastery of jump-rope
  First look at Playboy
  First time putting Ken on top of Barbie
  First time playing "Doctor"
  First explanation of the facts of life
  First valentine
  First slumber party
  First change from anklets to stockings
  First cigarette
  First training bra
  First pubic hair
  First cup bra
  First major sassing back
  First ear piercing
  First shoplifting
  First date
  First base
  First French kiss
  Second base
  First time coming home drunk or high
  Third base
  Going all the way
  First time mom finds birth control
  First job
  First time not asked for ID in a bar
  First abortion
  First marriage
  First divorce
  First realitization that you might not write the Great American Novel by
  the time you're thirty
  First grey hair
  First time called "ma'am"