Subject: A meetds D THE SEQUEL
From: [email-masked]
Date: 24 Feb 92 21:42:11 -0400
Newsgroups: alt.startrek.creative

A Meets D II, The Wrath of Spock
                        By: Steve Tonner

     "Captain's log, stardate 3675.9. The enterprise has been
ordered to the polaria cluster to investigate a strange rippling
effect in time. If studies of this time disruption are
successful, Starfleet intends to use it for research into
historical matters and my revenge against Kirk for his little
joke." Pikard stabbed the log button with his thumb, noticing a
tuft of fur under the button. " Those tribbles Kirk beamed over
are still bugging me, even though they were all gotten rid of. If
this plan works, Kirk will be VERY sorry." thought Pikard to
himself. 
     The Enterprise D Would arrive at her destination in three
hours. 

     "Captian's log, stardate 1234.5. The Enterprise has been
ordered to the polaria cluster to investigate a rippling
distortion in time itself. Mr Spock seems to think it could be a
gateway that had to have been artificialy created. As a personal
aside, I am growing concerned about Spock. His attempts to use
more personal speech forms have grown worse and worse since our
encounter with the Enterprise D, and if this keeps up I will have
to do something about it." Kirk stopped the recording on his log
module and looked thoughtful. when they got to the cluster,
things on the ship would relax, since they'd be hanging around
the cluster for weeks researching it. Practical jokes are
definetley going to increase, eventually getting out of hand.
Kirk hoped he wouldn't have to stop things without resorting to
disintegration. Just then, Spock screamed. all eyes turned to
him. He was hopping around at his station, eyes wide. 
     "Spock! what is it? Are you all right?" kirk asked. the last
time this happened, it turned out to be a premonition of the
Enterprise's salad bar malfunctioning. 
     "It is all right, captian. while I was scanning the cluster,
my underwear seems to have been jerked upward, causing..."
     "Spock, Spock" kirk interrupted." Are you telling me you
just got a wedgie? That's impossible. McCoy was nowhere near you.
he isn't even on the bridge!" Kirk said
     "Not so, Jim!" Said McCoy. Kirk watched amazed, as McCoy
popped out of nothingness on the bridge. "Scotty was
experimenting with the transporters, so I got him to beam my hand
up here, to give Spock his little wedge-o-rama, then beam me up
just after. neat, huh?" McCoy was all smiles, breathing all over
the bridge. the stink of alcohol was prominent.
     "Doctor, have you been driking?" asked Kirk. 
     "ah, nooo, this is a new mouthwash. It's called 'eau d'ho'
Really classy, huh?"
     "Doctor, as you know, assault on a superior officer is an
offense." Spock said. "You must consider yourself under
arrest..."
     "No way! I'm not under arrest! besides the captian's my best
freind! isn't that right, Jimmy?" McCoy knew he would win this
little one. Kirk agreed that some relaxing of regs was going to
be done so this mission could be carried out more efficently. He
was moving up to talk to Spock, then shouted 'NOW!' and they both
grabbed spock. McCoy hypo'ed him, and he promptly fell to the
floor, unconscious. 
     "Well, that wasn't so hard, was it?" asked Kirk. McCoy
nodded, and they carried him off the bridge. If the practical
joke wars were going to start up on his ship, Kirk didn't want to
be outclassed by a bunch of junior cadets. As they left the
bridge, Kirk put Chekov in command, ignoring his comment that the
art of practical joking was invented by a little old lady from
Lenningrad.

     "we have arrived at the Polaria cluster, Captian." said
data. 
     "Excellent, commander. Begin standard scanning pattern 45."
Pikard ordered, smiling.
     Data looked puzzled. "Captian, we do not have such an
established scanning pattern."
     "Data, don't you remember the update sent on scanning
patterns from command?" Pikard sounded concerned.
     "No, sir, I do not. Perhaps my memory has not fully
recovered from the damage done to it by That Sutteran, who
blanked the crew's memory to take the Enterprise."
     "Perhaps you are right, Data, tell you what, just start
pattern 23." Pikard said this, then whispered to Riker "Got 'im
that time, pay up." Riker paid him. Pikard had finnaly gotten
Data flustered about something. There's hope yet.
     "Course laid in and engaged, captian. At least *I* still
have my memory of the things I did while I was under the effect
of the shipwide memory blankout." said Roe, from the nav station.
As she said this, she slyly glanced back at Riker, who winced at
her look. She was going to have fun teasing him about last week'
episode.
     "Sir, security reports a disturbance in security. It seems
Mr. Data has consumed radioactive food and is acting strangely."
Worf said.
     "Contaminated food? How did it get contaminated?" asked
Pikard. just then Wesley groaned.
     "Sir, " said Wes "I think I had something to do with that.
You see, I was doing an experiment for my energy dynamics class.
I put a photon torpedo in the galley, to see the effects it would
have when the crew was poisoned."
     "You poisoned the crew, for an experiment?!" Pikard
screamed. When Wes nodded, Pikard gave him a good slap to the
head. Then he piked Wes out of his seat, and punched him, laying
him out on the floor. Pikard started kicking him, and soon Riker
joined in. Pretty soon everyone was having fun dancing on Wes's
body, and Riker was just tying the noose when he remembered Data.
He told worf to follow him to ten-forward, where the security
report said Data was. 

     When they got there, Riker said to worf, "Was there any
report of just what Data was doing?"
     "No sir. It said he was not behaving dangerously, just
oddly." Worf looked dissapointed, and Riker picked up on it.
     "Don't worry, worf. I'm sure you'll be able to shoot at
smoething before this is over." Worf visibly cheered up at this,
and they went throught the doors.
     "Hooo-kay, boyeee, get this!" Data said as he jumped across
the room to the crowd of terrified people and hugged the nearest
woman to him. "I'm so sad. but you love me, right?" Data asked
her. she nodded, and glanced over at Riker and Worf. Data noticed
them, and ran over. "Hi!" he said. "I love you both. sit down and
tell me strange things that start with an 's'." 
     "hmmm. On second thought, Worf. Hose him."
     "YES SIR!" Worf hadn't been this happy since the day his
mother beat him silly for his birthday. He drew his phaser and
zapped Data, who fell to the floor.
     
     On the Enterprise A, things were progressing as normal. They
had been examining the time anomaly, and nobody had even noticed
that spock was missing. Chekov was off the bridge, in engineering
with Scotty.
     "And then, " said Chekov, "Kirk just takes meester Spock off
the bridge, and McCoy with heem. I hawen't seen heem seence."
     "Don't worry, son. Spock is like a corpse in a river. He may
dissappear, and someone may worry, but he'll pop up sooner or
later, and everyone will forget him." Scott said. It was time
like these that Scott was glad he picked up that wise sayings
book in regulus. 
     "But Meeser Scott, aren't you vorried about him? " Chekov
asked.
     "Not at all. It was probably just a practical joke. Now get
ready, the camera's about to start." he pointed to a vidcam set
up, aimed at them on the couch. when the red light came on, that
meant they were live, being broadcast to every planet in the
federation. As the free acess subspace channel ad was on, Scott
took his guitar and got ready. Chekov did the same with his
drumsticks. when the announcement was over, they screamed
'Pavel's world, Pavel's world, Party on Pavel, Party on Monty'
Their latest episode had begun.
     Spock woke up in a turbo lift. Looking around, he started to
remember what had led up to this situation. He was wondering
about the value of just knocking someone out and stiking them on
a lift until he stood up. Kirk and McCoy had stripped him, and
put him in a dress. searching his pockets, Spock found only a
quarter in one of them. as the turbolift stopped, Spock looked at
the doors and saw his reflection. They had put makeup on him. As
the doors opened, the ensign who was talking to her freinds
stopped, looked at Spock, and passed out. The others cracked up
laughing, and Spock walked past them, trying to hide his face.
When he got to his quarters, they were locked, and he had to pick
the lock with the quarter. Thirty minutes later he emerged, in
proper uniform this time, and slipped into a service accessway to
plan his revenge.

     The Enterprise D had just completed their survey of the time
Anomaly. Therefore, the Red alert sounded just then.
     "Bridge, this is Pikard. What's the problem up there?"
     "Captian, this is Riker. we were just finishing up the scans
of the time ripples when one of them struck us. Data has
recovered, and seems to think that we were transported through
time somehow. "
     "Very well, number one. I'll be up shortly." Pikard got out
of bed, and put on his uniform. 
     "What's wrong, Jean-Luc?" asked Beverly Crusher.
     "Probably nothing, Bev. Go back to sleep." Jean-Luc made a
mental note to serve red max wine more often when they had dinner
together.
     As he arrived on the bridge, he had to tell everyone to get
away from Mr. Worf's station, again. he went over to Worf. "Mr.
Worf, just what is it that makes your station so interesting? I
mean, there isnn't even a... then he noticed he could see down
Troi's top, and grinned. He looked at Worf, and smiled. Looked
like Worf was adapting to starfleet after all.
     Pikard sat down in his chair. "Status, number one."
     "Yes sir. we were enveloped in a piece from the time anomaly
and the sensor maps changed. It would seem that we have travelled
back in time roughly eighty years."
     "Eighty years?" Pikard asked.
     "yupperino, captian." iker replied. "That means we're in the
Enterprise A's time. 
     Pikard smiled and gave the order to search for the
Enterprise A, then glanced down. "Hasn't anybody removed Wesley's
body yet?" Pikard asked to the bridge in general. Worf stepped up
to him, apologized, and promptly picked Wes up and tried stuffing
him into the disposal chute. He wouldn't fit, so he just tossed
him in Pikard's ready-room.
     Pikard went to the door of the bridge washroom. "I'll be
reading, Number one. Inform me as soon as we locate the
Enterprise A. " Pikard was thirsty for his revenge.

     But the Enterprise A found them first.

     "Keptin, I am reading another starship in the sector.
Captian! it is the Enterprise A! they found us!" said Chekov from
the science station.  
     "Red alert, raise shields." said Kirk. "bring us around
behind them."
     When the Enterprise A was in position, Kirk asked, "Do they
know we're back here yet?"
     "No, Keptin." said Chekov.
     "Ok, then. prepare a boarding party. I want full armaments.
Uhura, pipe me through the ship." 
     "You're on, sir." Uhura said
     "Crew, this is the captian. We are sending a boarding party
to try to capture the Enterprise D. Let's kick these guys
friggin' ass, boiz!"
     The boarding party gathered in the transporter room, and
beamed over. Materializing on the Bridge, Kirk, Chekov, and three
security men drew their phasers and pointed them at the crew on
the bridge of the Enterprise D. "All right, freeze! Everyone get
back or we'll shoot!" said Kirk. The Bridge crew complied, but
Kirk noticed something. "Hey, Where's Pikard? " he asked.
     "He's uh, gone. I don't know where. "Riker said. He knew
that if the captian wasn't captured, there may yet be hope. 
     "But commander, don't you remember? The captian went to the
bathroom right over there." Worf said. Everyone in the Enterprise
D's bridge crew moaned and slapped their foreheads. Worf looked
around nervously. "oops." He said. After Kirk had gotten Pikard
out of the bathroom, he surveyed them all. 
     "Well, Pikard, looks like i win after all, Don't I?" gloated
Kirk. "Ok, set phasers to kill. Let's blast them and take this
ship." Kirk ordered the security men.
     The men drew their phasers and aimed them at the bridge crew
of the Enterprise D. The pulled the triggerrs on the phasers- and
they fell apart in their hands. Nobody was more surprised than
Kikr.
     "Damnit!" He yelled. "Dribble phasers! This could only be
the work of Spock!" Just then, Spock's face appeared on the
viewscreen. 
     "Well, Jim, seems I have the upper hand." The screen
blanked, and the Enterprise A fired her phasers, but against the
Enterprise D's hull, all they did was put black marks across the
flame job they had painted on at starbase 54.
     The screen came back on right after. Spock didn't look so
pleased this time. "ahhh, Captian, I must report myself for being
bad. Sorry"
     "Beam me back Spock." Kirk said. "this boarding party has
failed. 
     "No way, Kirk. You tried to Kill all of us. You won't get
away with this." said pikard.
     "oh, yeah, sorry about that," said kirk "guess i haven't
been feeling that well lately."
     "Never mind, you may leave." Pikard said, then he whispered
to Riker "As soon as he is back on the Enterprise A, disable her
warp drive and put her in a tractor beam. 
     Kirk and the rest of his men dissolved in the transporter
beam. when they were gone, pikard yelled" fire phasers! disable
them!" two beams erupted from the saucer section, and cut the
warp nacelles cleanly away from the Enterprise A.
     "Now let's have some fun!" said Pikard as the tractor beam
locked on. He ordered a series of fast manouvers, heavy on the
dips and rolls, until every single person on the Enterprise A was
bazooka barfing at full pressure.
     When pikard came up on the screen, which was covered with
puke, he laughed. 
     "Well, Kirk. It would seem that your inertial dampener is
not so powerful as ours is. Do you surrender?"
     Kirk looked up from his chair's built-in puke receptor.
"Fine Pikard. Have it your way. We surrender." Just then the
Enterprise A broke away from the tractor beam, to the amazement
of the crews of both ships. The Enterprise A swung off and to the
front of the Enterprise D on her impulse engines, and this time
fired photons. they struck the navigational array, and destroyed
it. kirk was frantically trying to figure out who was doing this,
while Pikard was trying frantically to raise his shields.
     The Enterprise A fired again, and hit her warp engines. She
lost her warp drive then, as well. While the bridge of the
Enterprise D was in flames, Spock's picture again appeared on the
veiwscreen. 
     "Well, Pikard. I knew you would try to take this ship once
Kirk returned to it, but I took it back. Yo ustill have your
superior weapons and can destroy this ship, but what will that
avail you? your navigational arry is gone. you can go nowhere,
even if you had your warp drive. There is nothing left for you
but to return to your time through the time anomaly we are near,
and call for help. You may have outraced us once, but I am the
winner here.

     Pikard was flabbergasted. he was blown away. "ahh, but, um,
you see..." was all he could get out. Riker stepped in.
     "Fine Spock, you win for now. but rest assured, You haven't
seen the last of us." Riker cut the connection, and manouvered
the Enterprise D back to her own time. "Fine. "he thought to
himself. "Score: D=1, A=1. But watch out for the tiebreaker."

                             The End

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