Subject: Cupid's Phaser
From: [email-masked] (Ron Stein)
Date: Mon, 14 Feb 1994 15:59:29 GMT
Newsgroups: alt.startrek.creative

Here's a story I whipped up for my wife.  Hope you enjoy it.  

Remember Heinlein's admonition:  "Writing is not necessarily something to
be ashamed of, but do it in private and was your hands afterward."

Cupid's Phaser

She sat in her office, a small cubicle in the distribution center of Ship's
Stores.  A pseudo-window above the desk showed a moving starfield; a real
time projection of the view from Ten Forward.   Off to the left an
inventory control screen glowed softly, showing the remaining quantities of
organic compounds A thru G stored in hold 376D, starboard.  A mug full of a
noxious green soft drink had gone warm beside the screen.  It was about
11:30 hours -- near the end of yet another boring shift aboard the starship
Enterprise.

"So much for the glamour of Starfleet service." she thought for the
hundredth time.  As always, she was all alone with her inventory problems. 
Someone had to provide support during the "B" watch, and she was low man on
the totem pole.  Second lowest she frequently said with mock pride -- a
newby ensign had the "C" watch.  And if Ships Stores wasn't as exciting as
Planetary Sciences or Warp Technology, well, she hadn't made the cut for
the Exobiology and Engineering programs at the Academy.  Her talent was in
detail and organization, "button sorting" they called it in the Admin
courses.  If you wanted to know where the cobalt-thorium G was kept, how
much was on hand, and when we'd need more, why, just ask her.  That kind of
trivia stuck to her brain like a molecular bond.

The door buzzer sounded.  "That's weird" she thought.  "Who'd ring a door
buzzer down here?"   She spun her chair, faced the door and said "Come!" 
The door dutifully answered the standard hail and slid silently open. 
There was no one there.  On the floor was a small, red, heart shaped box
with a bright pink ribbon.

She walked over and picked it up, a smile on her youthful face.  Brown eyes
twinkled as she picked it up and read "Collette - Be my Valentine?"
scrawled neatly across the top.  There was no signature.  She looked both
ways down the hall, but whoever had left it was gone.

Inside the box was a small assortment of traditional chocolate candies. 
She picked out the one that looked like a cherry cordial (it was!), and ate
it as she went back to her desk.  She was so delighted that she did
absolutely nothing for the rest of her shift, and didn't even notice her
own negligence.  She was still sitting there happily trying to figure out
who the valentine had come from when Ensign Staedicke showed up for "C'
watch.

"What's up, lieutenant?" asked Staedicke.  "You're usually ready to go by
the time I get here.  Don't tell me something interesting actually
happened?!" he added with mild sarcasm.

"Paul - did you leave this for me?" she said, indicating the box.  A smile
was on her face.  "Yeah, I bet it was Paul.  He probably wants me to pull a
double shift for him." she thought.   

"Let me see that." he said.  "Jeez - I haven't seen one of these cornball
things since I left Earth!  Where'd you get it?"  She told him the story of
the box's arrival, but he denied knowing anything at all about it.

"I'm extremely married" he pointed out, shaking his head.  "Johanna would
skin me if I even suggested a valentine for another woman.  You've got me. 
I don't know where it came from."

She left the distribution center and headed for her quarters, completely
puzzled, and more than a little bit tickled.

The next morning, Valentine's Day, there was a message posted on the comm
system for her. 

"Command wears red,
Science wears blue,
Deanna is cute,
But not cute as you!"

It was signed "An Admirer".  The message had been posted anonymously from a
comm station in the Arboretum.  "Who the heck is this?!" she said aloud. 
She had made a passing acquaintance of Keiko O'Brien in the horticulture
department; maybe Keiko knew who was doing this.

"I have no idea, Collette!" Keiko answered, giggling.  "But isn't it
sweet?!"  

What she did learn from Keiko was that the Botany section had no unattached
males, and too many others came to enjoy the Arboretum for her to keep
track of.  She couldn't think of a single candidate to be a secret admirer.

"You know, Collette..., that poem mentioned "Deanna". " Keiko said
thoughtfully.  "That's gotta be Deanna Troi, and that brings to mind two
people - Commander Riker and Lieutenant Barkley.  Could it be one of them?"

She thought about it.  Every eligible woman on board, and half of the
married ones, had had the hots for handsome Will Riker at one time or
another.  It was tempting to think...    But no, she realized that it
probably wasn't him.  Oh, sure, she had a nice, somewhat voluptuous,
athletic figure, a cute face, and a good sense of humor, but so did most of
the women on board.  Starfleet seemed to attract the cream of the crop. 
But her duties never brought her into contact with Riker.  She had only
seen him a couple of times, and had never spoken to him.  They'd never even
made eye contact as near as she could remember.

Barkley was another story though.  She did see him on occasion, and had
even spoken to the nervous engineer a few times.  They occasionally had
meals in the same mess area, and she was pretty sure he'd sneaked a peek at
her figure a couple of times.  Could it be Barkley?  His holodiction
eccentricity was pretty well known, and discretely chuckled about.  But, in
truth, a lot of women wondered if they'd rated high enough to join him,
holographically that is, for a romp on the holodeck.  He did have a certain
boyish charm...

Collette blushed a little.  "Riker? Thanks Keiko, but let's be honest...  
Barkley?  I suppose that's possible, though I'd never have guessed.  I
hardly ever see him, and he never seemed more than his usual amount of
nervous around me.  I guess I'll try to check him out though."   

That afternoon around lunch time, she dropped by the mess room at level 23,
near the engineering sections.  It was a bit less subdued than Ten Forward,
and some pretty raucous bantering and joking often accompanied the serious
business of quick eating.  A lot of the young officers ate there, and
Barkley, like herself, was often one of them.  She hoped to run into
Barkley and start a conversation, just to see where it would lead.

She'd been there about twenty minutes and had almost finished her taco and
salad when Barkley came in.  He was arm-in-arm with Teresa Waldeck, one of
the new data management people.  She was obviously fawning over him, and
Barkley looked, well... satisfied, if a bit tired.

"Oh well - scratch Barkley."  She was back to square one.  She finished her
lunch, joined in some of the joking and complaining going on at her table,
and left for her room, more puzzled than ever.

But when she got there, just outside her door, a spray of pink flower
petals covered the floor.  A tall, delicate crystal vase held two deep red
roses nearly at eye level.  The note attached said

Roses are red,
Some are pink too,
Keiko don't know,
Are you wondering who?

There was no signature this time, just a stylized question mark with a tiny
red heart for the dot below.  This was a fun game!  Who was doing this?!

She arrived for her watch about twenty minutes early, hoping to catch
someone setting up some sort of surprise.  She was disappointed.  There was
nothing unusual at her desk.  The "A" watch people might have been
surprised at her early arrival if they hadn't been so busy.  Security Chief
Worf was over in one corner talking quietly with her boss, Lt. Commander
Tamy Scheurn.  Occasionally they glanced in her direction, and Worf didn't
look happy.  Worf never looked happy.

She knew Lieutenant Worf from the Tai Chi classes he taught.  Collette had
enrolled in the course as soon as she came on board the Enterprise.   The
full contact portion of the class appealed to her competitive nature, and
she considered herself one of the better students.  Worf did too, and had
once told her so.  "I wonder if it's Worf...!" she thought.

Worf was good looking, for a Klingon.  He was large-chested and rippled
with well toned muscles.  He wore his hair long, but sternly pulled back;
and it gave him a rugged, primitive look.  His deep voice was strong and
commanding, and she was just now realizing how tantalizing his alienness
was.  What would it feel like to run her fingers over his brow ridges...?  

There was a problem though -- Klingon mating was not for the faint of
heart.  A male in passion was not fully aroused unless there was blood
spilled, and the act itself was more an assault than the acrobatic
wrestling typical of humans.  There was a story about an Amazonian security
officer who managed to challenge Worf into a lovemaking session -- she
ended up with four cracked ribs, a bruised pelvis, numerous bites and
lacerations, and an enormous smile.  She didn't move easily for a week
afterward, and never spoke to anyone about what actually happened.

Worf and Scheurn moved in her direction.  They stopped in front of her, and
Worf spoke.

"Lieutenant Simmons - Keiko O'Brien mentioned the messages you've been
receiving.  While she expressed amusement, I am not amused.  As Chief of
Security, I do not like the idea of secretive stalking of crew members." 
He paused, obviously annoyed, and stared at her, awaiting a response.

A warm flush colored her face.  Collette looked at Tamy for a cue.  For her
part, Tamy was trying very hard to choke back a grin.  She wasn't having
noteworthy success.  Apparently Worf was unfamiliar with this aspect of
human mating rituals.

"I... I don't think there's anything to worry about, Sir." she offered. 
"This... well, this is a pretty normal variation in human behavior.  There
hasn't been anything threatening at all.  I'll be all right."

Worf glowered, his jaw tightening.  "This 'romance' is nonsense!  If a male
is stalking a female, he should do it openly!"  He bristled at Tamy's
barely hidden amusement.  "There is no honor, no glory in this 'Saint
Valentine'!"

He made a visible effort to calm himself, and continued more formally. 
"Lieutenant - I will be on duty.  Do not hesitate to call if you feel you
are in danger."  He turned and stalked out, muttering something in Klingon.

Collette sighed as she watched him leave.  There was a lot to be said for
his direct approach, but she wasn't likely to hear anything from him.  One
thing was for sure -- it wasn't Worf.  She turned and went to her station. 
Tamy stood there with a grin from ear to ear.

Ten minutes before the end of her watch, Collette was startled by a message
flashing on her screen:

Tomatoes are red,
No food is blue,
I'd like very much,
To have dinner with you.

Meet me in the Arboretum in fifteen minutes?

When Staedicke came through the door, she was past him and gone before he
knew it had happened.  "Bye!" she said cheerfully over her shoulder.   She
was almost sprinting down the hall.

The Arboretum was 19 decks up and clear across the saucer section from her
watch area.  It took two turbo-lift changes, and a couple hundred yards on
foot to get there, but she covered the distance in just over three minutes.

The Arboretum was a large room on the edge of the saucer.  It was three
decks high with a ceiling that mimicked the sky of Earth, and was used as
much for relaxing as it was for scientific purposes.  People often came for
walks in the early evening (ships time), and the more adventurous among the
crew sometimes arranged amorous encounter there during the late, late
hours.  One grassy spot near a waterfall was particularly notorious...

 She paused just a moment to gather some composure, and catch her breath. 
Finally she took one long breath, let it out slowly, and went in.

There was no one there.  Not near the entrance anyway.  The Arboretum was a
big place, with almost a quarter mile of walkways meandering around.  She
looked around, perplexed, then she noticed a few pink rose petals on one of
the paths leading away from the door.  A hint, perhaps?

The rose petals disappeared a few feet up the path, but they reappeared at
every fork in the path for a few feet or so.  She had a moment of panic
when she wondered if she was following a trail left for someone else.  It
would be horrible to burst in on someone else in a romantic or (oops!)
passionate moment.  Finally she saw a glow that she thought was candlelight
a ways off the path to her right.  She carefully walked through the
luxuriant growth, peering ahead hoping for a peek at the mystery man.  

A powerful, sweet fragrance hung heavily in the air.  Gardenias, she
thought.  Collette pushed aside the last of the branches blocking her view
and saw a small table, French bistro style, with two candles burning in
mismatched wine bottles.  Place settings for two were on opposite sides. 
Several covered serving dishes competed for space on the table.  A man sat
with his back to her.  She saw dark hair, broad shoulders, and a gold ships
services uniform like her own.

He heard the leaves rustle and turned in his chair to greet her.  A full,
close trimmed beard, boyish face...  "Hi" he said, smiling.  "I'm glad you
came."

"You!  I'd have never guessed!"  She smiled at him.  She wasn't displeased.
 Ron Stein had been in her circle of acquaintances since she'd come aboard
the Enterprise, but she'd never really thought of him romantically.

He stood and took her hand, leading her to a seat.  He made a show of
helping her sit, and handed her a soft linen napkin.  He removed the tops
from several of the covered dishes, revealing a selection of tasty finger
foods.  "I didn't know what you'd like, and these seemed appropriate for
sort of a late night picnic."  From a deep green carafe he poured an odd
green liquid into delicate stemware.

"I'm not sure what this stuff is, but I noticed you order it pretty
regularly at mealtime.  Where does 'Mountain Do' come from?"

 They chatted and laughed, told stories about their homes and families,
their hopes and ambitions, and even their dreams.  They found that they had
a lot in common.  It was several hours before they ran out of things to
talk about.

"You know," he said, "you had me worried at lunch today.  The way you were
staring at Barkley...  I was afraid you had other plans for tonight."

She chuckled and told him of her suspicions regarding Barkley -- and Worf
--, and they enjoyed a few more minutes joking about Barkley's more
notorious adventures.

"Well...," he said, during one of the pauses "I guess it's getting late. 
First watch starts in a couple more hours.  Think we oughta call it a
night?"

Collette stared a him for a long moment, smiling softly.  "I don't know...
it's been so nice, I hate for it to end."  She tilted her head back and
stared at the false starry sky, and listened to chirping of the crickets. 
"Real crickets, or fake?" she wondered, remotely.

"Y'know, I hear there's a great view over by the waterfall.  Why don't we
go have a look?"

He smiled as she took his hand and led him away.