***************************************************************************** Subject: NEW > Jeans & Fishnets < (4/4) Date: Thu, 7 Sep 1995 21:07:24 -0500 (CDT) _The X-Files_: all characters copyright Chris Carter and Ten Thirteen Productions. They shouldn't have made up something so cool if they didn't want us to write fan fiction about it. However, i don't really want to upset them, so no infringement upon their copyrights is intended. Blue Jeans and Fishnet Stockings (4/4) An X-Files Story by Summer They did the dishes and raced through the last of the budget, neither wishing to have any work hanging over them as they watched the video. Finally, all that was left was the final statement; Scully motioned for her partner to give her all the papers. "I'll do the rest," she said, producing a spool of thread with a needle stuck through it. "Go fix your jeans, Mulder." She didn't have to tell him twice; he snatched the thread and raced to the bathroom to effect an emergency patching job. Scully grinned to herself, typed up the very last of the budget, and stacked everything neatly on an end table with a pleased sigh. A sneaky thought occurred to her; she looked through her cassette collection for an old mix tape, put it in the stereo and rewound it. In the meantime she went to the kitchen and placed a packet of Movie Theater popcorn in the microwave. When Mulder returned in his repaired jeans, he was greeted by the buttery aroma of fresh popcorn and Monty Python's "Lumberjack Song": `I cut down trees, I skip and jump, I like to press wild flowers. I put on women's clothing and hang around in bars. I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay, I sleep all night and I work all day...' "Very funny, Scully," he called; she peeked around the corner from the kitchenette, a wide elvin smile gracing her lovely features. Mulder wondered how he would ever be able to thank Byers and Langly for calling off their plans tonight. He spent most of his time with Special Agent Scully, but it was something else altogether to hang around with Dana Scully on a Sunday afternoon. He took the pitcher of tea and their glasses from the dining area and placed them on the coffee table. Scully appeared, her arms wrapped around a sizable bowl of popcorn. "Would you get the lights, please?" "Absolutely." Mulder turned off the floor lamps as his partner picked up the remote control and started the movie. As the FBI warning lingered on the screen, he kicked his shoes off and got comfortable on the couch. "Are you going to say the audience participation stuff?" "I haven't even seen this since our reunion party three years ago, Mulder. I doubt I remember any of it." She took the other end of the couch, curling her legs under her and placing the popcorn between them. "Will you say what you do remember? Please?" he requested. "Watch the movie, Mulder," she said, refilling her glass of tea. As the music began, she intoned, "And in the beginning, God said, `Let there be lips.' " Mulder tore his eyes from her silhouette to see that a lipsticked mouth had indeed appeared on the screen. "And there were. And they were good. Sing." The mouth opened and the movie began. Mulder was rather surprised when, during the wedding that kicked off the first scene, his partner threw popcorn at the TV saying, "It's easier to clean up than rice." He followed along with equanamity, snickering at the occasional recited comment from Scully that was clearly a line of audience participation. It was bizarre, but amusing, and he was thoroughly wrapped up in it and enjoying the ride when a character in platform heels and heavy makeup hurled off his long black cape to reveal sexy black lingerie. Mulder choked on his popcorn and lost it, laughing so hard that he nearly tipped over the bowl. Scully rescued it just in time, asking anxiously, "Are you okay?" "I'm fine, I'm-- Scully! You were IN this thing?" "It was fun," she said defensively. "I bet-- I just wish I'd known about this in college--" he coughed, took a few swallows of tea. "This is wonderful," he said. She poked at his sock feet warningly. "I'm not being sarcastic, Scully," he assured her. "Run it back, I've got to hear this song." Scully hit rewind, checking out her partner in the glow of the tube; he appeared as honestly delighted by the absurdity of Rocky Horror as she had been when she first saw it. She relaxed. "You want to hear all of `Sweet Transvestite', hmm... feeling a little nostalgic?" she teased. "Now I know why you were asking to borrow my fishnets, Mulder." "One week," he protested, "and it was all in the name of higher education." "Suuure," she chuckled, starting the tape again at the beginning of the song. "And crawling..." "Where?" Scully asked the man on the television screen. "On the planet's face... some insects--" "Called what?" "Called the human race... were lost in time--" "What's your favorite TV show?" Scully asked. "Lost in space," he said. "What does this movie lack?" "...and meaning." "Once more, with feeling!" "Meaning," repeated a chorus of singers. "Turn off the world!" Scully said as the man left the room, leaving a lighted globe to glow in the darkened study. "What a waste of electricity. The movie's over-- turn off the world!" Mulder grinned. He was pretty sure she'd omitted most of the racy audience commentary, but it had still been amazing to hear his straightlaced partner inform the television that 'Castles don't have phones, asshole.' "Lights on," Scully warned. Mulder covered his eyes as she stretched to click the floor lamp on again. "That's it; that's The Rocky Horror Picture Show." "Where can I get a copy?" Mulder asked. "Seriously?" "Of course! Like you said, considering how much I love cheesy movies it's pretty amazing that I never ran into this before. It's dumb and campy-- it's great!" Scully had to smile at his enthusiasm. "You can probably get a used copy from the video store," she told him. "Until then... here." She presented a cassette to him before she had a chance to change her mind. Mulder stared at the drawing on the case; it was the videotape of Scully and her friends performing along with the movie. He looked up at her. "Are you sure?" "We're both being silly, Mulder," she said. "I trust you with my life every day-- surely I can trust you with my pride. Besides," she added with an impish grin, "tell anyone, and I start talking about ripped jeans and new interpretations of `Dragnet'." "Deal," he agreed at once, swinging his legs off the couch and pulling on his shoes. "Thanks again for helping with the budget." "No problem... thanks for dinner." "See you in Skinner's tomorrow morning." "Eight sharp. See ya, Scully." Mulder could hardly wait to get home and see the videotape. He was rather touched that Scully had trusted him with it; he'd expected to have to bug her about it for weeks before she'd give in. He rushed to his apartment and within five minutes, he was watching a roomful of college students dressed in outrageous gothic paraphernalia work themselves into a frenzy of anticipation. A thin young man in the black cape of the main character strutted onto the stage and greeted them with "HEY YOU FUCKERS!" The audience cheered. "In case you're stupid and you don't know by now, this is the last Rocky of the year-- next week is finals--" the crowd booed-- "I know, I know-- and then we all get to go home!" The crowd cheered. A few people started singing Alice Cooper's "School's Out". "OKAY, SHUT UP!" the young man on stage yelled into the microphone. "This year we're saying goodbye to two graduating cast members who are going on to the big bad real world in two more weeks-- everybody, get out here!" The stage cast filed out chaotically. Mulder leaned forward, trying to pick Scully out of the lineup on the screen. "Our Eddie, Carl Beckett-- Carl, getcher ass up here--" "Meatloaf again?" someone yelled from the audience. A swarthy young man joined the leader by the microphone and waved. "Shup! Okay, Carl is gonna go work for Lumas, Incorporated, doing business shit, and we're all gonna miss him a whole lot, so everyone give a scream for Carl!" The crowd obliged with a roar that forced Mulder to dive for his remote control and turn the sound down a bit. "And also leaving us to go to med school is everyone's favorite redhead-- we tried to get her to do Frank again for her last performance, guys, but if you missed it last semester you're out of luck. This is gonna be her last time playing Janet..." The audience chanted en masse, "Slut! -- Not yet, give her time." "Three year Rockette veteran, Dana Scully! Come up here, Dana, we love you." Mulder goggled as a very young, very beautiful, very... underdressed Dana Scully came forward and waved, blowing kisses to the wildly screaming audience. He couldn't help but recall that night on their first assignment, when she'd rushed in a panic into his room and stripped to her underwear, fearful that marks on her back matched those of abduction victims. "Mosquito bites," Mulder mused out loud. She was similarly attired on that stage, but her demeanor could not have been more different as she winked broadly at the camera and mimicked Marilyn Monroe's famous Seven Year Itch pose. Half the crowd was screaming her name. "Okay," the leader said, "I know you all want her, but it's time to start the show! Since it's her last night and she's been with us so long, Dana's going to introduce it for us... take it, baby." Silence fell over the gathering as somewhere a projector started and for the second time that night, Fox Mulder heard his partner intone solemnly, "In the beginning, God said, `Let there be lips.' And there were. And they were good. Sing." By the time the crowd called for the world to be turned off, Mulder had been completely blown away. No wonder she had been reluctant to let him see this, he thought numbly. Surely the Dana Scully he knew would have felt utterly ridiculous parading around on a stage in lingerie and fishnets, as she had at the film's conclusion. It definitely negated her cool, professional image. But as the cast returned to the stage and took their bows, then descended to join the party, Mulder really did have new respect for his partner. Scully was willing to let him see that she'd been involved with something that made her feel silly now. Considering the obstacles he knew she faced as a woman in the male-dominated FBI, it was really very brave of her to admit, even to her trusted partner, that she'd been a bit of a wild child in college. The picture flickered then resumed, the same stage slightly later and from a different angle. A group near the front were helping a woman onto the stage-- it was Scully, soon joined by the thin young man who had played the main character. "We all wanted to tell Dana how much we love her," he said into the microphone, "and how much we'll miss her when she graduates... she's been doing this for three years now and she's just like family to us. Right, Riff and Magenta?" Several voices from the crowd replied, "Incest is best, if you can't keep it in your pants, keep it in the family." Scully ducked her head; her makeup was smeared. Mulder realized that on that long-ago closing night, she had been crying. She took the microphone. "I love you guys," she sniffled. "You're the best friends ever and I'm going to miss you so much." The young man hugged her with one arm and waved the microphone with the other. Several of the cast members mounted the stage with a bouquet of flowers and the tape case that was now sitting on Mulder's coffee table. Scully accepted the gifts and embraced each of her friends as the leader explained, "We taped tonight's show for Dana to treasure always, and so that we can blackmail her with it when she's a rich doctor." Mulder grinned. "Thanks, everybody," Scully took the microphone. "Thank you so much..." now she was smiling broadly through her tears. "I have a going away present for you too." With that, twenty-two-year-old Dana Scully, future pathologist, scientist, skeptic, and FBI agent, kicked off her high heels, put one foot on a chair a la The Graduate, and slowly rolled off her fishnets stockings to toss first one and then the other to the screaming audience. Fox Mulder very nearly covered his eyes; he'd never seen anything quite so innocently seductive. He settled for pressing his hands over his mouth as the less tasteful members of the audience roared, "Take it off, take it all off!" Scully took the mike again with a sassy smile. "Sorry boys, that's all you get." "We'll see what happens when we get her drunk at the cast party," the thin young man laughed, looping his arm casually around her again. "Which is where we're all going, so we'll see you next year-- bye everybody!" "Goodbye!" Scully waved. The tape ended. This went beyond mere appreciation, Mulder decided; he was deeply honored that Scully had entrusted him with part of her past which was not only rather embarrassing to her now, but which had clearly meant a lot to her at the time. This called for a rallying show of support for the incredible woman he was lucky enough to have as his partner. Mulder reached for the tape case and looked at the drawing for a long time. Dana Scully arrived at the office half an hour early the next morning with the completed budget in one hand and a long cardboard cylinder in the other. She dropped off the budget and bustled down to the basement office, hoping she'd managed to beat her partner to work for a change. He wasn't in their office; Scully cheered inwardly and hurried to his desk, opening up the tube to draw out a rolled-up movie poster. She unfurled the item she had purchased the night before: a promotional poster advertising Ed Wood, featuring figures from Plan Nine from Outer Space and a big shot of Johnny Depp in a skirt and angora sweater. She ransacked his top drawer for a permanent marker and signed the bottom "XOX, From Janet" with a flourish, then used various objects from the clutter to lay the poster flat on his desk. She stood back to admire her handiwork, knowing her partner would accept the present in the spirit in which it was given. Scully intended the gift as a gesture of solidarity; she was certain that Mulder would understand. Then she saw that her videotape was on her desktop, the tape case discreetly turned signature side up. Scully picked it up and laughed. Mulder would understand, all right; under the tape was a photocopy of a paper labeled "Perspectives on Gender Discrimination". Just inside the cover page were photos of a young Fox Mulder-- one of Mulder in normal clothes and the others showing him outfitted in fairly convincing makeup, wig, and dress. Scully checked her watch. She had a few minutes before she needed to go up and wait in Skinner's office. She looked at the pictures again, covering her mouth with her hand to keep from howling with laughter; she'd need all the time she could get. "Come in, Agent Scully," said Assistant Director Skinner. "Please, sit down." Scully took a seat, casting a sunny smile at her partner. Mulder smiled back happily. Skinner's eyes darted from one to the other, but he made no comment other than, "I see that you've already turned in your quarterly budget, despite your heavy caseload recently. Excellent work." They both murmured their thank- yous as he nodded. "I'm certainly glad you got it out of the way. You're going to need the time. We've got a case here that looks like an X-File..." Both agents listened intently as Skinner diagrammed the basics of the case and handed Mulder the file. They were the quintessence of professionalism as the Assistant Director dismissed them and they walked briskly down to the basement office. The instant the door closed, they looked at each other and burst into laughter. Mulder went to his desk, held up the poster, and shot an enormous grin at her. "Ah, I LOVED this movie-- thanks, Scully." "I can't believe you!" she gasped. "Me? Look who's talking! I was just letting you know your secret's safe with me, Scully," he explained, still laughing. "Your tape-- you were amazing. I'll never tell a soul, and I was thoroughly impressed." "The copies of your sociology project were enough, Mulder, you didn't have to wear those!" "So why did YOU wear them?" he challenged. Scully perched on the edge of his desk, considering her answer. "I wasn't embarrassed then; there's no reason why I should be now. I'll wear what I want to wear." "Exactly," he said, beaming. "Solidarity. You've supported me through some pretty wild times; the least I can do is support your wild times." Scully blinked, sudden affection blurring her vision for an instant. She pulled herself together and looked down at her feet. Under her slacks, barely visible between the hem and her shoes, she wore a pair of fishnet stockings. Mulder propped his feet on his desk, still grinning as she looked at HIS feet-- where, under his slacks, barely visible between the hem and his shoes, he also wore a pair of fishnet stockings. "You were right, too," Mulder added irrepressibly. "Fishnets really are very comfortable under slacks." (END) NOTES: Mulder's taste for Warren Zevon came from Amperage and Livengoo's great "Camping" stories. It's a symptom of how nuts i am about the show and the fan fiction that when i saw a Warren Zevon tape and remembered that the artist was mentioned in "Camping", i bought it at once. The Zevon songs quoted are "Splendid Isolation" and "Gridlock", both from Transverse City. Other songs quoted, in order of appearance: "Always" by Erasure, "Lightning Crashes" by Live, "You Just Haven't Earned It Yet, Baby" and "Ask Me" by the Smiths. The other songs should be credited in the text. Mulder and Scully's college activities and music collections are the result of my own fevered imaginings, so if you don't think it suits the characters, you have only me to blame. [No, Sue's to Blame!] Scully's RHPS escapades were inspired by my friend and roommate, Genna Totten, who is as intelligent and studious as Scully, and an avid Rockette and vampire enthusiast. Mulder's unfortunate accident was derived from a similar incident at my summer job, when my partner Chad leaned a little too far to get a box while wearing an old pair of jeans. As always, a rain of roses for Saint Susan who posts for me-- thanks Susan! Any comments? Write me. I like mail. Hope you liked reading the story as much as i like writing it! Summer Daze: GADDABer, SYXer, Lone Gunwoman summer@camelot.bradley.edu ***************************************************************** end of part 4/4